2020 is a Bloodbath

I'm not sure what I'm thankful for today.

It was a long day. I got home from work a couple of hours before the sun will begin to shine.

There was another death.

Now, my personal death toll for 2020 is 18.

She was a former patient who died on my birthday from an addiction. I just learned of her passing today.

If this keeps up, I'm going to develop a delusion that it is dangerous to know me.

Sigh -

Only one of those deaths was related to Covid.

One was due to suicide based on accidently killing someone in a hit and run.

One was due to someone deciding not to pursue cancer treatment.

The other 15 deaths were due to the inability to access medical and/or psychiatric care due to the Covid19 hysteria.

This is disgusting.

I'm off to try to sleep. I only have two days off before the New Year. I haven't even started Christmas shopping and have a meeting in about five hours.

Please - if you can - take time to rest and care for you.

This time of year is brutal.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Venus Meditations

Today I am thankful for my new realization. In my world, Friday is the day of love (reminds of The Cure - lol). It's true. Friday is the day of Venus. Exhausted as I was after work, I went to my altar and lit a candle asking that my friend find whatever his life is lacking. Then I went upstairs and did my Friday night ritual to Aphrodite. I lit a candle asking that I gain confidence in my ability to love. I also ask that I recognize true love. I was too exhausted to linger so I tried to fall asleep. Have you been too tired to sleep? It's horrible. Your mind goes round and round - you might recall things that happened recently (like the doctor telling me to be careful because I haven't hit menopause yet and I say, "not worried about it" while thinking that it's a good time to be in a sexual drought - hooray for me), or things going on at work (that I can hypnotize little cranky babies to sleep without sa...

My Competition

Only our best friends and greatest teachers will have the courage to say those uncomfortable things to help us get out of the mud and back on our paths. Today I am thankful for my competition. I love being a hypnotist because I have the most wonderful colleagues in the world. I bought a refresher Stop Smoking Hypnosis Course from another hypnotist trainer. I bought it because I'm too lazy to create my own business forms. It comes with the forms. Usually, I can't read anything this man writes without learning something new. I figured that I couldn't go wrong investing in his products. I received the package yesterday. It was supposed to contain four CDs. I received five. Do you want to guess what the fifth one was? It was a hypnosis session entitled "Overcome Your Lost Love." I'm a little bit tickled at that discovery. This is perfect!!! I love this guy's voice. This is the mo...

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