Fun Dream and Bad Day

Today I am thankful for a fun dream.

Right before waking up, I had a dream of a very old friend kissing a beautiful blond before jumping out of an airplane with her.

That was nice.

For once, I had a dream of an old friend that wasn't a nightmare.

That was appreciated.

I think I had that dream because today is his birthday.

What a nice start to the day.

My day didn't stay nice.

*******
My new employer wanted copies of all of my tax records for the past ten years. They asked that I order my wage and income statements directly from the IRS.

I received them today.

I can see when my ex raided part of the 401Ks. Some of it wasn't accounted for, so I don't know what to think about that.

Sadly, my new employer is going to think that I can't manage money.

Don't stay married to financial idiots, the fallout can last for years.

******
I just got news that the auntie who raised me after my mother died has a terminal illness. I don't know if I can talk or write about it right now, my feelings are still raw.

She seems to be in shock.

The job that I was offered is at her doctor's office, so maybe I can be there for her on some level.

I'll bug her more often to offer help.

She is only twenty years older than I.

This is breaking my heart.

This will be the last Thanksgiving. I won't be able to spend the day with her.

Hopefully we can make Christmas extra special for her.

Love ya lots,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe. It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house. I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling. I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here. It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve. ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb. The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear. Fear that he won't honor hi...

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much. People change over the course of their lives. Healthy people grow. Unhealthy people either stay static or regress. So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies. If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors. I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories. From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory. A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory. When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP. My ex is a ESTP a...

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