Today I am thankful for research.
I've done quite a bit of it.
I've been divorced for nearly three years. My ex-husband was supposed to move out over three years ago.
Every day he's been in my house, I've asked him to move out.
There were several times when he hasn't been here because he'd been traveling out of state. Those days never bothered me, except when his relatives would harass me and stalk the residence doing crazy crap (e.g. burning paper in the front yard and turning on the garden hose to put out the fire).
He had 60 days notice before I asked for the court date. He had another 60 days notice of this court date.
Then, the judge gave him another 60 days in my home. The judge never asked about domestic violence.
He asked how I felt about my ex staying here. I said I was uncomfortable. My lawyer said that it would be nice to give him 10 days to find somewhere else to live. The lawyer asked that my ex be out in 10 days.
The judge gave him 60 days......60. Doesn't the court system want women away from their abusers? Don't they blame victims for staying?
What happens when she tries to leave? Some stupid judge forces her to put up with the abuse.
I'll be lucky if he's out of here before 2017.
I'm a little shocked at this. There is evidence of financial abuse - my ex took more than a year to turn over the funds I was given in the settlement. He only turned over a portion of those funds.
He didn't want me to have the money because he didn't like the guy I was seeing. He also used that as an excuse to stay in my house.
I don't think it mattered who I was seeing, I don't think he wanted me to date.
He just wants control.
When I stopped dating, things became a little less crazy. His family didn't bother me as much - they still harassed me when I was leaving the house to see clients and go to job interviews. They just couldn't watch me sip coffee with men anymore.
I don't date.
I don't meet male colleagues for coffee, to work on community projects or scheme politically anymore, either.
I keep to myself to the detriment of my career because I am afraid.
The judge didn't think about these things.
I'm wondering if Arapahoe County judges get domestic violence training.
Maybe they don't?
What the hell are we paying for? Where does the VAWA money go?
Am I supposed to press the issue?
I'm probably the worst litigant this judge is ever going to meet.
I won't forget. If I survive this mess, I'll push the issue.
I find myself debating going to the press now because I'm not sure I'll survive.
*******
There is a problem that witches face.
That is, how does one use his or her personal power?
When does one triangulate supernatural powers into his or her disputes?
At what point does one cast a spell?
When shall I grab the graveyard dirt?
When is it warranted to move beyond this realm to solve petty day to day problems?
I know this is stupid -but- how many women die because of idiotic judges who fall for the pity party ploys of manipulative abusers?
Does this warrant a spell?
If so, what kind? Black? White? Gray?
Gray is the most powerful.
Maybe this is something that warrants a curse.
I haven't cast a curse since 2008, I cursed a city. They stole money from many people and lied about it. Their lawyer called me and said nasty shit. They'll never win a tax hike until they fess up to what they did and stop stealing from their employees.
I cast a lot of protection spells. I cast a spell to protect the cops. I think that helped in 2012.
I don't know. It's hard to say. When it comes to protective measures, it's hard to say what has been prevented. If you do it right, you'll never know.
You can't measure what doesn't happen.
Maybe a judicial system needs a curse. Maybe the judge should be wracked with guilt until he gets into a domestic violence training program? Maybe all of the judges need that curse?
I don't know.
Maybe I should cast a fame spell or a spell to make me a better politician so I can be a more effectivebitch...advocate?
Better yet, I should stop acting as though my stalkers' gossip is true.
It's devilishly fun to pretend, is it not?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm not messing around.
Assholes and stupid people attract bad luck. It can be hard to tell if it's a curse or a life lesson.
That works in my favor.
*******
I think my subconscious mind is sad.
My eyes tear up constantly.
When I eat, I get tired and want to throw up.
I feel sick over everything.
Why should I be forced to live with and support an ex-husband who has made my life a living hell?
Why would a judge give the keys to my castle to a man who has his family stalk me?
Why can't I change my locks?
Why don't I deserve to be safe?
Why can't I decide who I want to associate with?
Why don't our children deserve to be safe?
Why do I have to subsidize our misery?
This guy harassed me when I tried to work during the marriage. Why do I have to work two jobs to support him now?
Why am I court ordered to support my abuser? We were supposed to litigate him paying alimony to me....not me taking care of him in my house.
I thought he was lucky I didn't press the alimony issue. Maybe I needed to do that. Maybe the threat of alimony would have kept him away from me.
I don't know.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm angry. I'm hurting. I'm crying all the time.
Crying is my first step to anger.
Aurora made me cry in 2008.
Then I got mad.
Things certainly got a little bit interesting.
I had a hell of a lot of fun kicking cameras and saving taxpayers some money.
Arapahoe County may want to be a tad bit wiser than an idiotic former city manager and mayor.
If I'm already in emotional pain, I won't feel physical pain.
If you've made me cry; there is little you can do that will hurt me further.
If you want to take me for a ride, be prepared for me to ride bareback on you.
I'm a cowgirl at heart.
Women in heels don't need spurs.
Crying is the first symptom of my waging a war.
Right now, I'm scheming.
There has got to be a way to prevent this crap from happening to someone else.
I'll find it.
Love ya,
S.
I've done quite a bit of it.
I've been divorced for nearly three years. My ex-husband was supposed to move out over three years ago.
Every day he's been in my house, I've asked him to move out.
There were several times when he hasn't been here because he'd been traveling out of state. Those days never bothered me, except when his relatives would harass me and stalk the residence doing crazy crap (e.g. burning paper in the front yard and turning on the garden hose to put out the fire).
He had 60 days notice before I asked for the court date. He had another 60 days notice of this court date.
Then, the judge gave him another 60 days in my home. The judge never asked about domestic violence.
He asked how I felt about my ex staying here. I said I was uncomfortable. My lawyer said that it would be nice to give him 10 days to find somewhere else to live. The lawyer asked that my ex be out in 10 days.
The judge gave him 60 days......60. Doesn't the court system want women away from their abusers? Don't they blame victims for staying?
What happens when she tries to leave? Some stupid judge forces her to put up with the abuse.
I'll be lucky if he's out of here before 2017.
I'm a little shocked at this. There is evidence of financial abuse - my ex took more than a year to turn over the funds I was given in the settlement. He only turned over a portion of those funds.
He didn't want me to have the money because he didn't like the guy I was seeing. He also used that as an excuse to stay in my house.
I don't think it mattered who I was seeing, I don't think he wanted me to date.
He just wants control.
When I stopped dating, things became a little less crazy. His family didn't bother me as much - they still harassed me when I was leaving the house to see clients and go to job interviews. They just couldn't watch me sip coffee with men anymore.
I don't date.
I don't meet male colleagues for coffee, to work on community projects or scheme politically anymore, either.
I keep to myself to the detriment of my career because I am afraid.
The judge didn't think about these things.
I'm wondering if Arapahoe County judges get domestic violence training.
Maybe they don't?
What the hell are we paying for? Where does the VAWA money go?
Am I supposed to press the issue?
I'm probably the worst litigant this judge is ever going to meet.
I won't forget. If I survive this mess, I'll push the issue.
I find myself debating going to the press now because I'm not sure I'll survive.
*******
There is a problem that witches face.
That is, how does one use his or her personal power?
When does one triangulate supernatural powers into his or her disputes?
At what point does one cast a spell?
When shall I grab the graveyard dirt?
When is it warranted to move beyond this realm to solve petty day to day problems?
I know this is stupid -but- how many women die because of idiotic judges who fall for the pity party ploys of manipulative abusers?
Does this warrant a spell?
If so, what kind? Black? White? Gray?
Gray is the most powerful.
Maybe this is something that warrants a curse.
I haven't cast a curse since 2008, I cursed a city. They stole money from many people and lied about it. Their lawyer called me and said nasty shit. They'll never win a tax hike until they fess up to what they did and stop stealing from their employees.
I cast a lot of protection spells. I cast a spell to protect the cops. I think that helped in 2012.
I don't know. It's hard to say. When it comes to protective measures, it's hard to say what has been prevented. If you do it right, you'll never know.
You can't measure what doesn't happen.
Maybe a judicial system needs a curse. Maybe the judge should be wracked with guilt until he gets into a domestic violence training program? Maybe all of the judges need that curse?
I don't know.
Maybe I should cast a fame spell or a spell to make me a better politician so I can be a more effective
Better yet, I should stop acting as though my stalkers' gossip is true.
It's devilishly fun to pretend, is it not?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm not messing around.
Assholes and stupid people attract bad luck. It can be hard to tell if it's a curse or a life lesson.
That works in my favor.
*******
I think my subconscious mind is sad.
My eyes tear up constantly.
When I eat, I get tired and want to throw up.
I feel sick over everything.
Why should I be forced to live with and support an ex-husband who has made my life a living hell?
Why would a judge give the keys to my castle to a man who has his family stalk me?
Why can't I change my locks?
Why don't I deserve to be safe?
Why can't I decide who I want to associate with?
Why don't our children deserve to be safe?
Why do I have to subsidize our misery?
This guy harassed me when I tried to work during the marriage. Why do I have to work two jobs to support him now?
Why am I court ordered to support my abuser? We were supposed to litigate him paying alimony to me....not me taking care of him in my house.
I thought he was lucky I didn't press the alimony issue. Maybe I needed to do that. Maybe the threat of alimony would have kept him away from me.
I don't know.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm angry. I'm hurting. I'm crying all the time.
Crying is my first step to anger.
Aurora made me cry in 2008.
Then I got mad.
Things certainly got a little bit interesting.
I had a hell of a lot of fun kicking cameras and saving taxpayers some money.
Arapahoe County may want to be a tad bit wiser than an idiotic former city manager and mayor.
If I'm already in emotional pain, I won't feel physical pain.
If you've made me cry; there is little you can do that will hurt me further.
If you want to take me for a ride, be prepared for me to ride bareback on you.
I'm a cowgirl at heart.
Women in heels don't need spurs.
Crying is the first symptom of my waging a war.
Right now, I'm scheming.
There has got to be a way to prevent this crap from happening to someone else.
I'll find it.
Love ya,
S.