Today I am thankful that I see the situation for what it is.
A friend asked me to a gem and mineral show. He's the security guard who used to walk me to my car after work. I no longer see him because I was promoted and moved to a new location.
He makes jewelry. I try to make jewelry. I make crappy jewelry and give the pieces to talented people who tear them apart and reuse the materials to make better jewelry.
Then I buy the better jewelry.
A couple of weeks ago, I found out a cute single co-worker his age makes jewelry and I suggested that she get to know him better.
That's probably why he tracked me down on the internet and called me.
Here's the deal....
My ex-husband's family stalks me when I'm out in public with men.
I do a lot of things that guys do. They are 50% of the population, you know.
It doesn't matter who I'm with....
I get stalked when I'm arguing with male politicians.
I've been stalked having coffee with gay guys trying to come out of the closet.
I was stalked talking to someone asking my advice about alcohol treatment facilities.
One guy was a mason trying to get support for a fundraiser for sick kids....I think my ex was sitting behind me during that meeting.
I can't date.
Three years divorced and I have no choice but to be alone.
I haven't kissed a guy in over ten years. I tried three years ago but the guy started to choke me.
No kisses......
There are hugs. There are explanations as to my unavailability.
My ex-husband isn't going away.
I have wondered if he thinks we are divorced. I've asked that he consider couples counseling thinking that a shrink would be able to get him to come up with an action plan for moving on.
He won't do it because, he says, we are through.
Then he'll want money and tell me what groceries I need to buy.
I think I'm his surrogate mother.
I don't like it.
I can't have friends....let alone date.
There is an idiotic judge in Arapahoe County Colorado who doesn't understand domestic violence. I don't know if I need to go to the Supreme Court, the Bar Association or Clear The Bench. I'd give money to Clear the Bench but I've had to take a really low-paying job to hide from my stalker.
Judges - you NEVER force an ex-wife to live with an ex let alone support him in her own home. Don't do it three years after the divorce. If the word stalking crosses her lips, nix the idea.
I asked for ten days. I said the word stalking. The judge gave him 60 days.
My ex didn't turn over the entire financial settlement in 2013- read financial abuse. He promised to turn it over once I ceased dating. When I broke off the relationship with the guy I was seeing, I received 50% of the settlement one month later. This was a year after I was supposed to receive it.
I'm not allowed to date.
Irreconcilable differences mean just that. If that judge even bothered to look into the file, I've asked Arapahoe County for mediation several times and was told that my relationship was abusive and not a good fit for mediation.
I was told I needed a lawyer. Guess how long it took me to save up money for that?
When I did, the courts made me wait another six months for a court date only to tell me that I have to wait this out for the end of the year!!
*******
I know Michael is my stalker.
He acts like a stalker. He's everywhere I am. I don't think he has any intention of letting go of the relationship.
He's tearing up the house so I can't sell it and leave. There are mice**! The nest is in his room.
There is mold on the wall of his bedroom in the basement apartment!!! I know this because he's asked me to wash blankets that were near this wall. I'm going to have to throw them away.
Why can't I evict him?
Why do I have to spend $325 on food each week? Or pay for his auto insurance and give him money for gas so he can go to his therapist appointment with an effin' therapist who doesn't really understand abuse either?
This guy does rage. The rage attacks are now few and far between.
He lets his family do the dirty work.
That therapist ought to know what is going on by now. Come on!
All he's doing is making my ex-husband think he's a victim.
That's messed up!
That's a DORA complaint waiting to happen. If I die, I guarantee there will be a lawsuit. Since the shrink works for the City of Aurora, their City Attorney will get sucked into it, too.
The new City Attorney looks like my brother-in-law. He's a snarky little thing, too. I probably don't like him because he looks like Billy and he supported the lying Ass't City Attorneys who pissed me off to the point of wanting to cap the city's funding.
Winning was fun. I need to do that again!
I've decided not to carry anywhere NEAR city property. I could mistake him for one of my stalkers.
Maybe I just need to save up for new glasses so I can find some nuance to tell them apart so the poor lawyer doesn't wind up smelling like a pepper steak.
I carry pepper spray everywhere I go.
**********
I didn't understand what was going on until this morning. I woke up early and started cleaning my room. I found a package.
The day I started to date a friend three years ago, my ex-husband gave me a vibrator.
Michael handed me the package. I thought it was a joke.
Now I know he was trying to take control of my sexuality.
That's probably the real reason he refuses to leave my home.
I have to find a way to explain to my friend that I don't date......
that I'm asexual.....
and I will be that way until I get can away.
In the meantime, I'm going to scheme.
********
I have to find a way to get an Aurora therapist re-educated before he gets me killed. My ex is on Medicaid and Medicaid has strict guidelines for therapists, maybe they'll take a complaint. Apparently, this therapist told my ex that it's okay he stays in my house because the only thing it is costing me is government help (e.g. Medicaid) and people with employment can't get Medicaid if they have group health insurance available to them.
Um.....I'm a master's level therapist who had to take a job as a health insurance agent in order to hide from my stalker. I hold licenses in many places. This therapist is wrong and who knows how many people lost benefits they needed due to this misinformation. People can have group insurance, VA Benefits, TRICARE, Medicare and Medicaid! The only truism is that Medicaid is the last payer!
I'd like to meet this guy. I could tell him where such individuals should file a complaint. Individuals wrongly thrown off of Medicaid need to file a complaint with the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. It's a violation of Federal Law.
You know if the government is going to force people to buy health insurance, its going to force us to pay for it.
I'm thinking that if the stalking ends, I'd like to hold workshops to teach social workers, homeless outreach workers and therapists how health insurance actually works.
I know my ex lies to the therapist. I know my ex lies about the therapist. Some things my ex says are so therapy oriented, I KNOW it had to come from the shrink. This guy bills himself as a men's issue therapist. I guess I could go on the DORA website to see if he is DV certified. I took all the drug and alcohol/DV classes I could before I ran for office....and, yes, even back then I found my ex outside the building sitting in the van waiting for me (without my knowledge). My five year certification period ran out when I was playing anti-tax activist. I'd like to see if he's practicing within the scope of his training. If not, I'll file a complaint.
There is an Arapahoe County family court judge who needs to be re-educated, too.
I'm stuck until my ex and his family decide to leave me alone.
All this isolation is doing is giving me time to scheme. I have friends who have wanted to shut down Aurora Mental Health for a long time. I may just have a story that can help them.
I'm too stressed to be terrified.
I once had an attorney hired by the city tell me they found this blog. One of the lawyer's names was Shrek....so apt. If so, remember what happened the last time city lawyers upset me to the point nothing scared me?
Nothing scares me now.
Not even the guy in the tan pants, blue vinyl jacket and the blue beanie and stood outside my house for nearly three hours last night. I drove off and went shopping. When I came back he was still by himself on the sidewalk outside of my house. I drove around the block again and he was gone.
I debated calling the cops but they really don't have a good track record of taking reports. I was tired. My ex wasn't dressed.
It may have been nothing.
I didn't call. I let it go.
If there is a robbery in my neighborhood - you have three witnesses who could describe the guy and the hat. It had a weird design. He had a friend who stood on the other side of the street when I drove off dressed exactly as he was dressed. I first saw them around 4:20 p.m. They left a little after 7:15p.m.
I don't know if the assholes who stand around for hours on end are there to watch me for Michael or casing the neighborhood. If it's for me, it's no big deal. They've been cursed by virtue of being on my property (if you believe in such voodoo hotfoot powder nonsense....some people do).
If not.....I'm sorry I gave up on trusting the cops to listen.
I was waiting for Michael to move before installing the security cameras and putting in the brass high security deadbolts. I don't want him to know how these things are installed. I may not be able to wait. I could have easily had footage for the police.
I only have one camera installed now. I'm not even sure it's working.
Solicitors don't hang around that long. There were no trucks with business branding on the block.
Someday I'll laugh about this. I'll laugh at the new age energy people who say don't think of your stalker and he'll go away. Doesn't work.....Send him love and he'll go away.....Doesn't work.
Crazy self-entitled people do whatever the hell they want to do; it doesn't matter if they are politicians, lawyers or jealous ex-husbands who don't understand divorce.
I'm getting to the point of feeling entitled to my freedom (financial and otherwise). That's when I'll get super crazy.
Watch out!
Love ya,
S.
* About the mice - it's never really been a problem before. I have bass player buddies who swear that mice hate the sound. That could be why there is an infestation now. I don't have time to play.
I may have to buy a cheap bass and amp just to be free of the mouse traps.
A friend asked me to a gem and mineral show. He's the security guard who used to walk me to my car after work. I no longer see him because I was promoted and moved to a new location.
He makes jewelry. I try to make jewelry. I make crappy jewelry and give the pieces to talented people who tear them apart and reuse the materials to make better jewelry.
Then I buy the better jewelry.
A couple of weeks ago, I found out a cute single co-worker his age makes jewelry and I suggested that she get to know him better.
That's probably why he tracked me down on the internet and called me.
Here's the deal....
My ex-husband's family stalks me when I'm out in public with men.
I do a lot of things that guys do. They are 50% of the population, you know.
It doesn't matter who I'm with....
I get stalked when I'm arguing with male politicians.
I've been stalked having coffee with gay guys trying to come out of the closet.
I was stalked talking to someone asking my advice about alcohol treatment facilities.
One guy was a mason trying to get support for a fundraiser for sick kids....I think my ex was sitting behind me during that meeting.
I can't date.
Three years divorced and I have no choice but to be alone.
I haven't kissed a guy in over ten years. I tried three years ago but the guy started to choke me.
No kisses......
There are hugs. There are explanations as to my unavailability.
My ex-husband isn't going away.
I have wondered if he thinks we are divorced. I've asked that he consider couples counseling thinking that a shrink would be able to get him to come up with an action plan for moving on.
He won't do it because, he says, we are through.
Then he'll want money and tell me what groceries I need to buy.
I think I'm his surrogate mother.
I don't like it.
I can't have friends....let alone date.
There is an idiotic judge in Arapahoe County Colorado who doesn't understand domestic violence. I don't know if I need to go to the Supreme Court, the Bar Association or Clear The Bench. I'd give money to Clear the Bench but I've had to take a really low-paying job to hide from my stalker.
Judges - you NEVER force an ex-wife to live with an ex let alone support him in her own home. Don't do it three years after the divorce. If the word stalking crosses her lips, nix the idea.
I asked for ten days. I said the word stalking. The judge gave him 60 days.
My ex didn't turn over the entire financial settlement in 2013- read financial abuse. He promised to turn it over once I ceased dating. When I broke off the relationship with the guy I was seeing, I received 50% of the settlement one month later. This was a year after I was supposed to receive it.
I'm not allowed to date.
Irreconcilable differences mean just that. If that judge even bothered to look into the file, I've asked Arapahoe County for mediation several times and was told that my relationship was abusive and not a good fit for mediation.
I was told I needed a lawyer. Guess how long it took me to save up money for that?
When I did, the courts made me wait another six months for a court date only to tell me that I have to wait this out for the end of the year!!
*******
I know Michael is my stalker.
He acts like a stalker. He's everywhere I am. I don't think he has any intention of letting go of the relationship.
He's tearing up the house so I can't sell it and leave. There are mice**! The nest is in his room.
There is mold on the wall of his bedroom in the basement apartment!!! I know this because he's asked me to wash blankets that were near this wall. I'm going to have to throw them away.
Why can't I evict him?
Why do I have to spend $325 on food each week? Or pay for his auto insurance and give him money for gas so he can go to his therapist appointment with an effin' therapist who doesn't really understand abuse either?
This guy does rage. The rage attacks are now few and far between.
He lets his family do the dirty work.
That therapist ought to know what is going on by now. Come on!
All he's doing is making my ex-husband think he's a victim.
That's messed up!
That's a DORA complaint waiting to happen. If I die, I guarantee there will be a lawsuit. Since the shrink works for the City of Aurora, their City Attorney will get sucked into it, too.
The new City Attorney looks like my brother-in-law. He's a snarky little thing, too. I probably don't like him because he looks like Billy and he supported the lying Ass't City Attorneys who pissed me off to the point of wanting to cap the city's funding.
Winning was fun. I need to do that again!
I've decided not to carry anywhere NEAR city property. I could mistake him for one of my stalkers.
Maybe I just need to save up for new glasses so I can find some nuance to tell them apart so the poor lawyer doesn't wind up smelling like a pepper steak.
I carry pepper spray everywhere I go.
**********
I didn't understand what was going on until this morning. I woke up early and started cleaning my room. I found a package.
The day I started to date a friend three years ago, my ex-husband gave me a vibrator.
Michael handed me the package. I thought it was a joke.
Now I know he was trying to take control of my sexuality.
That's probably the real reason he refuses to leave my home.
I have to find a way to explain to my friend that I don't date......
that I'm asexual.....
and I will be that way until I get can away.
In the meantime, I'm going to scheme.
********
I have to find a way to get an Aurora therapist re-educated before he gets me killed. My ex is on Medicaid and Medicaid has strict guidelines for therapists, maybe they'll take a complaint. Apparently, this therapist told my ex that it's okay he stays in my house because the only thing it is costing me is government help (e.g. Medicaid) and people with employment can't get Medicaid if they have group health insurance available to them.
Um.....I'm a master's level therapist who had to take a job as a health insurance agent in order to hide from my stalker. I hold licenses in many places. This therapist is wrong and who knows how many people lost benefits they needed due to this misinformation. People can have group insurance, VA Benefits, TRICARE, Medicare and Medicaid! The only truism is that Medicaid is the last payer!
I'd like to meet this guy. I could tell him where such individuals should file a complaint. Individuals wrongly thrown off of Medicaid need to file a complaint with the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. It's a violation of Federal Law.
You know if the government is going to force people to buy health insurance, its going to force us to pay for it.
I'm thinking that if the stalking ends, I'd like to hold workshops to teach social workers, homeless outreach workers and therapists how health insurance actually works.
I know my ex lies to the therapist. I know my ex lies about the therapist. Some things my ex says are so therapy oriented, I KNOW it had to come from the shrink. This guy bills himself as a men's issue therapist. I guess I could go on the DORA website to see if he is DV certified. I took all the drug and alcohol/DV classes I could before I ran for office....and, yes, even back then I found my ex outside the building sitting in the van waiting for me (without my knowledge). My five year certification period ran out when I was playing anti-tax activist. I'd like to see if he's practicing within the scope of his training. If not, I'll file a complaint.
There is an Arapahoe County family court judge who needs to be re-educated, too.
I'm stuck until my ex and his family decide to leave me alone.
All this isolation is doing is giving me time to scheme. I have friends who have wanted to shut down Aurora Mental Health for a long time. I may just have a story that can help them.
I'm too stressed to be terrified.
I once had an attorney hired by the city tell me they found this blog. One of the lawyer's names was Shrek....so apt. If so, remember what happened the last time city lawyers upset me to the point nothing scared me?
Nothing scares me now.
Not even the guy in the tan pants, blue vinyl jacket and the blue beanie and stood outside my house for nearly three hours last night. I drove off and went shopping. When I came back he was still by himself on the sidewalk outside of my house. I drove around the block again and he was gone.
I debated calling the cops but they really don't have a good track record of taking reports. I was tired. My ex wasn't dressed.
It may have been nothing.
I didn't call. I let it go.
If there is a robbery in my neighborhood - you have three witnesses who could describe the guy and the hat. It had a weird design. He had a friend who stood on the other side of the street when I drove off dressed exactly as he was dressed. I first saw them around 4:20 p.m. They left a little after 7:15p.m.
I don't know if the assholes who stand around for hours on end are there to watch me for Michael or casing the neighborhood. If it's for me, it's no big deal. They've been cursed by virtue of being on my property (if you believe in such voodoo hotfoot powder nonsense....some people do).
If not.....I'm sorry I gave up on trusting the cops to listen.
I was waiting for Michael to move before installing the security cameras and putting in the brass high security deadbolts. I don't want him to know how these things are installed. I may not be able to wait. I could have easily had footage for the police.
I only have one camera installed now. I'm not even sure it's working.
Solicitors don't hang around that long. There were no trucks with business branding on the block.
Someday I'll laugh about this. I'll laugh at the new age energy people who say don't think of your stalker and he'll go away. Doesn't work.....Send him love and he'll go away.....Doesn't work.
Crazy self-entitled people do whatever the hell they want to do; it doesn't matter if they are politicians, lawyers or jealous ex-husbands who don't understand divorce.
I'm getting to the point of feeling entitled to my freedom (financial and otherwise). That's when I'll get super crazy.
Watch out!
Love ya,
S.
* About the mice - it's never really been a problem before. I have bass player buddies who swear that mice hate the sound. That could be why there is an infestation now. I don't have time to play.
I may have to buy a cheap bass and amp just to be free of the mouse traps.