Warped Gratitude Blog

" The first rule is that one must accept the fact that, unsavory as it is, some people simply have no conscience and that these people tend to be very "everyday." Secondly, it is important to learn to use your own judgment about people instead of relying on roles and labels to inform you about a person's moral character. The third rule is to practice the Rule of Threes when considering a new relationship in your life. Three lies, and assume that you are hooking up with a liar. The fourth rule is to question authority. The fifth rule is to suspect flattery. The sixth rule says that, if necessary, you should redefine your concept of respect. The seventh rule is, simply, don't join the game. And related to this, the eighth rule is to avoid the sociopath altogether. Rule nine is to question your tendency to pity too easily. Number ten: do not try to redeem the sociopath. Also, number 11, never agree, out of pity or for any other reason, to help a sociop...

Today I am thankful for being a Libertarian and a Hellenist. A little bit about myself..... I am Pagan.  I worship the Greek pantheon.  On Sunday I light a candle to Apollo.  The beautiful gay God of music, art, science, medicine, intelligence and athleticism.  He teaches us to excel in every capacity that we can.  On Friday I light a candle to Dionysus.  He is the bi-sexual God of love, lust, music and art.  He teaches us to be free.  My daughter is a devotee of Artemis.  Yes, my daughter is gay.  In fact, as her friends start coming out to their parents, I make sure that I have a guest room ready....just in case....there is a negative reaction.  So far, it hasn't been an issue.  I am also a Libertarian activist.  I have marched in the Pride parade since 1987. I was born in the hate state.  One of my first activist gigs was fighting a horrible law that came to be known as ...

Oh, that's not appropriate.....Hmmmmmm.....let's try something else.   Ahhhh....that's better.  If you can listen to the masters play for an hour, then you're all 'bout that bass. Today I am thankful for rituals.   My step-father bought me a bass after my mother died.  I wanted to join a band as the guitar player.  No one wanted to be the bass player, so I found myself trying it out.  This one had a three digit serial number.  It was old.  It was heavy.  I loved it! I found myself buying all the disco albums I could find.  Then I developed a crush on Sting, Geddy Lee, Peter Cetera, Ben Orr, John Taylor and....shhh.....Michael Anthony.  I always had a thing for Bootsy (no secret there).  I was excited when Flea made Bootsy's style popular again but that was many years after I began playing.   Maybe someday I'll tell you about the guy who tried to seduce me by promising to teach...

Today I am thankful for good friends who share their paid subscription to the SSDI death index. I see my therapist tomorrow.  My homework assignment was to try to figure out whether Shannon had actually died because stalkers have been known to pretend to be dead in order to trick their victims into letting their guard down.  So....I've been trying to be creative. I called all the mortuaries....nada.  I visited the Catholic cemetery.....nothing.  I cannot access the records from the health department because I am not a member of the immediate family.  My friend believes that the SSDI death index updates itself weekly, so I thought that could help me figure out whether or not I am safe.  Well....she's not listed. Her is a cut and paste United States Social Security Death Index Search all collections No records found for Name: Shannon D***s ...

Today I am thankful that I have found a way NOT to play victim. So.....I'm still having nightmares about what happened with Steve.  I think I fear it happening to someone else. Steve ran around telling people that I mentally abused him by "talking for 15 minutes" because I "didn't want to lose the relationship." He wrote this on Facebook, too.  I immediately made sure that he knew that I broke up with him so that he could "clear up some space in his life to find someone kinder and more considerate." That was September 1st. I actually broke up with him on August 29th but we were stuck at a concert, so I wasn't sure he got the message.  He should have on September 1st. In the days and weeks that followed, Steve sent me numerous threatening texts and emails.  This is what some people with Borderline personality disorder do.  They lie to third parties.  They harass through third parties.  They try to ruin your reputation....

Poetic Justice......still rape is wrong even if it is a rapist getting served up a huge dose of karma. Today I am thankful for glocks, rape-axes, huge strap-ons and incubi - don't forget the incubi. .  Some of my friends are upset at an article  about a guy who probably couldn't get laid if he wanted to.  There is some terrible jerk who writes a lot of anti-woman rhetoric for attention.  Now he wants rape to be legalized.  Okay....sure thing buddy. I'd like his address.  I want to know where the party is going to be.  Where can I get some flunitrazepam? Should I invite Gentle Bob?  He ain't so gentle towards asshats. I can easily put on two of those female condoms with razor sharp teeth they developed in Africa, take my Glock and a huge strap-on and have at him.. No...never mind.  He's too young for me.  Besides, he's too darn ugly.  Rape is a crime of power and control.  Ugly idiots...

Today I am thankful that I am finding new ways of spotting psychopaths before getting into relationships with them.  There is a recent study that I thought I should share.  It is that researchers at Ohio State University found that men who post a lot of selfies tend to have cluster B Personality disorders and score higher on tests for psychopathy.  Steve took a lot of selfies.  There were times when he'd take a selfie with me far off in the background.  That should have been a tip off of where I stood in the relationship. He liked to tell everyone that I was a sociopath.  Maybe that was a little bit of projection going on.... Here is a newsletter from Ohio State describing the study: http://news.osu.edu/news/2015/01/06/hey-guys-posting-a-lot-of-selfies-doesn%E2%80%99t-send-a-good-message/ This certainly explains a lot.  Posting selfies points to a cry for attention, especially if they are numerous.  He did need at...

Today I am thankful for a therapist who understands: Today I was told that I could possibly have PTSD. I hired a Borderline Personality Disorder expert to be my personal therapist.  Her doctoral dissertation was on the topic, she knows the ins and outs of the disorder. She was inspired to get into psychology after a relationship with a male Borderline.  She knew what to ask. She asked if Steve made me feel crazy . Made me feel crazy?  He tried to paint me as crazy.  I still have the text messages in which he  threatened to have me committed like he did his ex-wife!! My only regret is not taking him up on the offer.  I'm pretty sure a trained clinician could have easily spotted the truth of the situation.  Perhaps he'd have gotten some real help that way.  Ah.....live and learn.  She asked how many times we broke up and got back together. I don't know.  I lost count after five.  He broke up with m...

Today I am thankful for the insight of other therapists.   Well.... um..... I spent this morning with a stalking expert. Apparently.....uh.... [this is bizarre] stalkers have been known to lay low for a few months, convince their victims that they have died.....and then when the person has their guard down, they  come back with a vengeance.  So..... I've been checking the obituaries...... I have found NOTHING!  I was informed that the state updates the death index every thirty days or so.  I guess I'll have to go there to confirm the death.  Maybe this isn't over.  I'll keep you apprised.  Love ya, S.  Search Results ...

Today I am thankful that most people have empathy. Witnessing my ex-husband's reaction to the death of his sister has been bizarre to me.  He literally doesn't care.  He doesn't seem rattled at all.  He tells me that it bugs me more than it bugs him. Why wouldn't it bug me?  She is the aunt to our children!!  Yeah, she was scary. Yes, she was a stalker.  She never really got to live a life of her own.  It is a sad thing when someone dies. ****** This is weird.  There is no obituary for Shannon. There is no legacy page memorializing her.  None of the relatives have posted anything on their social networks. They haven't said a peep. People who went to high school with her are memorializing her. One of my guitarist friends went to school with her.  That's how I know.  He's never lied to me before.  ****** I have to ask myself, do narcissists mourn? ...

Today I am thankful that the worst part of the stalking nightmare is probably over. I woke up today after five hours of sleep. I was happy.  I felt unadulterated joy.  I had a job interview.  The interviewer commented on my happy energy.  I was on top of the world.  I came home.  A marketer offered to hire me to do some voice over work for him.  He wants to promote me on Amazon.  He offered to split the profits with me.  I felt great.  Then.... Then.... An old friend from high school told me that my stalker died on Wednesday night at 8:00 p.m. ***** Now, I still do not know who was behind the stalking I've endured for 23 years from my ex-husband's family.  I DO know that the only stalker I feared was Shannon.  The last stalking incident I dealt with was July of 2014 when the door jam on the front door had been yanked away from the wall.  It's been quiet.  It's bee...