Today I am incredibly thankful that I followed the cat while cleaning the kitchen.
It appears that our rescue cat has a rattle. I never really bothered to see what it was she was batting around the kitchen floor.
Eventually, she stopped.
In the back corner of the kitchen, behind a cabinet, I found a nearly full bottle of Oxycodone/Acetaminophen 10-325 that was prescribed to my ex-husband in 2015.
I'm very thankful I found it. I'm carrying around with me until I can dispose of it.
Fortunately, my new employer has a drug collection site.
Wow.......
I had no idea that he was taking this medication -nor- did I know he left it in the house.
I've taken in two teenagers since he left! One of them has a drug problem.
I am very thankful the cat found it first.
*****
I lost a 22 year old co-worker last spring due to her taking an Opioid. She spent the night with a guy she barely knew. She was housesitting with him and they were both found dead when the homeowners came back from their trip.
Her name is Phoenix.
It helps to remind myself that her spirit is immortal.
She was a kind young lady. She'd take us older women out to clubs so that we could live a little.
She is so very missed.
It's not fair.
It's of little consolation that heaven has a new angel now. I'd rather her be here. The living need angels, too.
******
My ex is, allegedly, in a drug and alcohol rehab program for the next 8-27 months. Due to his being in a voluntary rehab setting, he is freed from the responsibility of paying child support.
Yeah...I'm scrambling for money*.
I wonder how many men know about this rehab/child support loophole?
The State of Colorado seems to approve of it. I mean, they had three State Attorneys represent my ex to help him lower his support. They lowered it by 50-60% per month. That really doesn't help. They may as well have just ended it for him.
In all reality, if he's in rehab he cannot work. If he cannot work, he cannot pay child support.
In December, the judge wanted to throw him in jail for his failure to leave my home, stealing the money from the 401-K after our divorce and his refusal to pay child support. As a libertarian, I do not believe in debtor's prison....so there is little I can do that'll help me sleep at night.
Scruples can be uncomfortable, can't they?
If he stays in rehab until the kids are grown, there really is no point to child support, is there?
Child support is intended to keep me off of welfare. It is not collectible when the children hit the age of majority because it's purpose is to help families while the kids are still minors.
Of course, libertarians prefer to avoid welfare, so the state has absolutely no interest in collecting child support from him.
Yeah, my scruples are getting the better of me yet again.
I'm on my own.
The State of Colorado chastised me because they were paying for my ex's clothes. Why would they do that? He had taken about 10 boxes of clothing, most of the household tools and the children's new T.V.
He told me to donate about 20 boxes of clothing. They went to a charity that helps disabled vets. He wants me to donate about 50 (maybe more) boxes of sports collectibles. I have no clue how to do that.
Maybe I can ask a politician if they're hosting a charity fund-raiser. I don't really trust a lot of people....so my pickin's are slim there.
It would be funny if I could donate them to a fundraiser to help single parents afford attorneys or find jobs (because Colorado doesn't help them - the State of Colorado only helps deadbeat dads).
I'll ask a couple of lawyers I know.
******
Here is deal....my ex demanded money from me to pay for the storage unit that housed the assets he told the State of Colorado he didn't own. In those emails, he stated emphatically that he doesn't have a substance abuse problem, he's in rehab for depression.
I believe him.....somewhat. I just have never heard of a 27 month rehab program for depression and/or drug or alcohol abuse.
I only have a graduate degree in psychology and several drug and alcohol counseling certificates.
It could be that I may have missed something in my training.
I don't know.....
Now, I'm wondering.....well........if he had a drug or alcohol program, wouldn't the pill bottle have been empty?
It was prescribed about the time he had a wrist surgery.
No, it wasn't a self-inflected injury, at least that I know of. He fell out of the back of a semi and caught the ground with his hand.
If this were the only prescription that was filled, he didn't use it?
Unless.....he misplaced it and ordered others?
That doesn't sound like him.
I'm thinking that he is being honest when he says he doesn't have a drug and alcohol problem.
I guess it doesn't matter.
I'm going to tear up the house to make sure there are no more drugs laying around.
******
I've been sick since September. I do not have health insurance because I was laid off in May and have been working a series of temp jobs since.
My new employer is only hiring on a temp basis for now. I like the company so I'll stick around.
My illness started as congestion and moved into my lungs. My lips were blue and I couldn't breathe.
I went to the ER and they told me it was stress, so I was popping various psych drugs. I started with Paxil which made me faint.
I started taking Buspirone until I couldn't think anymore. I think the psych drugs are given me anxiety attacks.
I feel better without them.
Last week, it moved into my ears. I could barely move my head due to the pain.
As a single mom, I cannot afford to miss a day of work so I had to find a way to cope.
I have a little box of pills that I need to turn over to the drug take back pharmacies. It has 81 Paxil capsules and 20 Buspirone pills. It has various allergy meds. It also had a 13 day supply of Augementin (an antibiotic). It was prescribed for my daughter last year but it turns out she didn't have an infection, so I had to stop giving it her.
I kept it until I could get rid of it in a safe way.
Well....I've been taking it. I can finally hear people. My lips are no longer blue and I'm feeling more and more like myself.
I'm also realizing that, at my age, I cannot humanly work three jobs. I'm having trouble with my full time job and my business.
I've decided to give up delivery driving.
I may even give up my hypnosis business IF the health company hires me full time. They need people in their behavioral health advice center. I think that would be a fun fit for me.
I'm also thinking about moving to California. That's were this company is headquartered.
I'll have to take it one day at a time.
Maybe, rather than trying to find a full time job with benefits to make up for what my ex doesn't do....
I should consider working for myself full-time.
I'm burning the candle at both ends and making myself sick.
I'm not making very much money.
I'm going to have to give thought into working smarter rather than harder. One can have too many jobs. I have to pare down and keep myself well.
The children cannot afford for me to be sick again.
******
I am interviewing attorneys.
My gut feeling says that Drama Kings will create more drama. I'll need an attorney if and when my ex leaves his voluntary rehab and wants to exercise his visitation.
I don't know what to expect or when to expect it.
I don't even know if this guy has a real substance abuse problem and what to do if the kids are exposed to drug abuse.
This is new to me.
I don't think my ex is done.
He always needs attention.
I should prepare for whatever is next.
I am struggling with the concept of letting this guy off of the hook completely.
I don't think it is legally possible: Colorado law is clear (or at least, it used to be). Children need support from both parents. It is impossible for a woman to sign away child support from the non-custodial parent absent a step-parent adoption.
My hands are tied.
That could be the game. He could simply want to be free of the responsibility of child support. Until he is free, I'm sure he's willing to impoverish himself and be unavailable for a relationship with the kids.
I shouldn't care.
Mentally, I'm trying to think as though this guy doesn't exist in my world.
I'm trying to act as if he has no stake in anything financial pertaining to the kids (which is hard while filling out college entrance packets).
In reality, he will never help.
I really and truly want to know why the State of Colorado is helping my ex escape child support but countless other men don't get any help.
I don't know.
I have researched the forerunner of the CO-PEP program; it was called the Parent Opportunity Project. The State of Colorado had a little experiment with deadbeat dads back in the nineties. Back then, only 31% of the respondents paid child support. By the end of the program, only 37% of the respondents paid child support.
I don't think taxpayers got much out of their $10,000,000 investment.
It hardly seems worth the effort.
Maybe the Gods want me to educate the public about this nonsense.
At the very least the lawyers at CO-PEP need to understand domestic violence. They chastised me for stating that the other adult in my household was our 19 year old daughter. They wrote back and wanted it stricken from the record because it wasn't legally required that I help our child after high school. They didn't get it....if I hadn't disclosed that, my ex would assume the other adult was a significant other.
Given the stalking....um...I can't have a significant other without creating a world of hurt for myself and the kids.
The more I think about it, the more I am able to drill down why I am so angry about the government.
One day I'll meet someone in power gunning to take CO-PEP down. By that time, I'll know exactly what to say and what evidence to share.
I'll meditate on how I am supposed to proceed. When I used to meditate all the time, money seemed to come naturally to me. It's time I re-awakened that part of myself.
I feel like I am floating around without a rudder.
I hope I hurry up and learn the lesson associated with this experience so I can move forward.
May your life see you moving forward towards all your heart desires.
Love ya lots,
S
Next Day Edit: It dawned on me that my ex may be lying about CO-PEP putting him in a treatment program for 27 months. In all my research, I cannot find another story about a non-custodial parent being given this option. One would think that either a custodial parent would complain -or- a non-custodial parent would give them a rave review.
I have found people on Quora who state that CSE has erroneously cut child support due to it's failure to investigate false claims of no income by non-custodial parents.
That's about it right now.
There is this idea that welfare will take care of the kids so child support isn't necessary.
Yeah...right.
While it is certainly unfair that payments be high, it is unfair that they be zeroed out, too (unless someone is disabled).
I have to find a way to get this in front of the Feds.