Today I am somewhat thankful for the child support office.
My bachelor's degree is in social work. I specialized in child development. When I interned with the county I was shocked at the sheer number of professionals who didn't understand that an individual's mental illness could impact the functioning of a family.
I left to pursue my graduate degree. My master's degree is in psychology. I wanted my doctorate but Michael's sister harassed and stalked me on campus. They offered me the chance to teach but I was so afraid of her, I declined the associate professorship.
Crazy people can influence other people in not so positive ways.
In sum, the person with the most flexibility tends to control the system; be it political, be it familial, be it business....people who can bend and sway with the wind tend to come out strong.
No one can be as flexible as a person three fries short of a happy meal. They can threaten you, beat you up, lie to the cops and do all sorts of creepy crap. Crazy people can scare you with their driving. They can take chances that more responsible people won't take - they're flexible like that.
Everyone else is too busy watching the flexible person in the hopes that they can stay sane and safe.
See? Flexible people get a lot of control by being unpredictable.
Yes, I believe this describes Donald Trump. Love him or hate him - he's flexible and he's in control.
That said, people have a habit of calling someone crazy when he or she does not bend and sway to their collective demands.
For instance, women are called crazy when they won't clean up after guys, or let them sleep around unprotected with hookers, or give them tons of money, or question their pathological lies.
Presidents are called crazy when they march to the beat of a different drummer.
Calling one crazy does not necessarily mean that a person is mentally ill or has a personality disorder. It could mean that they have the unmitigated gall to call asshats out on their bad behavior or ignore the dictates of a bunch of loud mouthed people who may or may not know what they're talking about.
That is why when men call their exes crazy, I tend to run off before I get branded as a crazy, too.
No, this is not a politically correct statement -but- it is helpful in explaining advanced psychological concepts in an easy to remember fashion.
******
It took me eleven days to get the documents my ex requested. He is refusing to work and wants to lower his child support......Not that he's ever paid child support.
I received a letter demanding a lot of information about my life.
Michael was beginning to scare me. He's been angry that I stopped paying his auto insurance in March. He was angry that I let a homeless girl live in the basement apartment. I think he wants my car.
I let him use my mini-van because he said it would help him keep his job. I signed the title over to him when it was wrecked and the person who caused the accident offered him $2,000. I thought it be money that could help him move out.
I shouldn't have listened. When he asked to use my Buick, I declined.
When he found out I was looking for work and was at home more, he started to make crazy demands on my time. He wanted me to hunt down documents to deliver to him. He didn't want me to mail them to him. I couldn't tape them in an envelope on the front door because he didn't want to pick them up.
He expected me to drop them off to him. He was rarely where he said he would be. He'd be angry if I kept him waiting (because I driving from bus stop to bus stop looking for him). I would spend hours attending to these demands during the week.
If I wouldn't do what he asked, I would get a series of emails complaining that I didn't help him.
After a few days of harassing me to get paperwork from him, he started demanding that I drop the kids off to the movie theater during weekdays. I think I was supposed to pay for the movies, too. The day he asked corresponded with a job interview. It was a Tuesday afternoon. I asked that it be another day so I could prepare for my interview.
At this point, he sent me a scathing email telling me I was uncooperative and that I would be even if he gave me seven days notice of a change in plans. I thought about it and realized that if I had seven days notice to help him, I could schedule my job interviews around his demands.
I wrote back telling him I liked the idea of a seven day notice for visitation that occurs outside of his normal schedule. At this point, he wrote back saying that he didn't want to see the kids. He also expressed anger that the state had contacted him asking him to pay child support through their registry.
He was in court for contempt a few months ago. I needed to get him out of my home. The judge noted that he hadn't paid child support. I asked the judge not to send him to jail and stated that I would have any payments logged through the state so they're kept track of. Apparently, Michael did not approve.
*****
Now, I have to provide documents pertaining to my life. After I was laid off from my job, I lost access to the computer system (rightfully so). Although I was receiving direct deposits of monies owed by the company, I did not receive the paycheck stubs.
It took two weeks to get this information from my former employer so I could get it to Michael.
******
Thursday was a disappointing day.
I stopped taking hypnosis clients because I wanted my schedule clear for when I started work on Monday, August 7th.
I called to verify the time and place to report to work and was told that I would only be working from August 28th to December 31.
So...I've decided to look for another opportunity.
I did follow through and spent the afternoon at a drug clinic to prove that I don't smoke pot.
I'm allergic to hemp.
It explains why all my hippie clothes itch and why my hemp shampoo made my hair fall out
It's hard to be a bohemian when you're allergic to pot.
After waiting for two hours I was told that I drank too much water and the test was non-conclusive. It's up to the company to decide if they want me to go through the test again.
I may not have a job on August 28th after all.
That only means that there's something better out there for me.
******
After visiting the drug clinic I took my documents to the child support office. I mentioned that I was feeling a bit pressured to let Michael off the hook for child support due to the demands he was making on my time earlier.
They saw my WARN lay-off notice. They saw copies of my severance checks and business profit and loss statements.
The lady who took the paperwork expressed empathy for the loss of my job.
I mentioned that I had applied for a job in their office but I was not bi-lingual. I also applied for the division that works with Medicaid and was supposed to start next week but that Trump had cut the budget so it is on hold.
Typically, they only help non-custodial parents find work.
They said they'd help me. Apparently, they are testing the waters in helping custodial parents find better jobs.
I would like that very much.
Maybe something good will come from Michael's skating around his monetary responsibilities.
If I manage to get a good job the first thing I'll do is start paying off his creditors that are hounding me.
May all the good that you do come back to you a thousand fold.
Love ya,
S.
Edit: 08/15/2017
Well....the Child Support office is a tad bit dishonest.
1.) The Child Support Office does not help custodial parents find jobs or gain job skills. The woman that told me that was mistaken. They only help non-custodial parents do that. Since Colorado is a state where both parents' incomes play a role in the determination of child support, it doesn't really help the non-custodial parent if I cannot earn decent money. My aim would be to negate the need for child support.
2.) Two Child Support representatives promised that I'd have to agree to a modification. That is not true. It took two business days for them to send me a letter stating they will modify his child support down by 55% because he submitted paycheck stubs for a $12 an hour job at a call center. They would modify without my consent unless I could prove that their math was faulty.
I had to hire a lawyer because the child support office claimed they couldn't talk to me anymore. That lawyer sent them a 19 page document detailing how they are acting incongruently with Colorado law by not looking at what my ex was making.
Okay.....I'm now considering hiring a collection agency so I can get the case away from this organization. They're going to reward my ex for his bad behavior. This is going to cause trouble for my kids.
It's stupid to reward someone for engaging in self-sabotage. My ex always manages to get fired right after I file for a court hearing or ask for mediation. That way, he can claim poverty.
I think the game is to take a low paying job and submit those few paycheck stubs as proof. Then after the dust settles, go back to being an accountant/auditor.
I find this infuriating because I held a management position at a call center prior to my lay off. I dealt with motivating agents. As such, I often heard about jobs from competitors. A friend who managed a call center at a cable company offered my ex the opportunity to interview with a competitor making $16 an hour. My ex flat out refused. The sad thing is that this competitor is in need of people who can understand statistics and analytics - he'd move up the food chain quickly. My ex yelled at me when I mentioned it.
I'll be quiet.
I won't reward crappy behavior.
I'm looking into hiring a private firm to collect the past due support. If I do that, the state of Colorado can't get their dirty hands on anything enable my ex to continue his games.
He's playing poverty.
Don't reward that.
It does get creepier. He found out the young lady was no longer living in my basement apartment. My ex is being nice as pie and talking me up to other people. I think he wants to move back into my house.
NO....I can't let him move back in.
I will not reward him for playing games.
I do not feel sorry for him.
He brought this nonsense on himself.
My bachelor's degree is in social work. I specialized in child development. When I interned with the county I was shocked at the sheer number of professionals who didn't understand that an individual's mental illness could impact the functioning of a family.
I left to pursue my graduate degree. My master's degree is in psychology. I wanted my doctorate but Michael's sister harassed and stalked me on campus. They offered me the chance to teach but I was so afraid of her, I declined the associate professorship.
Crazy people can influence other people in not so positive ways.
In sum, the person with the most flexibility tends to control the system; be it political, be it familial, be it business....people who can bend and sway with the wind tend to come out strong.
No one can be as flexible as a person three fries short of a happy meal. They can threaten you, beat you up, lie to the cops and do all sorts of creepy crap. Crazy people can scare you with their driving. They can take chances that more responsible people won't take - they're flexible like that.
Everyone else is too busy watching the flexible person in the hopes that they can stay sane and safe.
See? Flexible people get a lot of control by being unpredictable.
Yes, I believe this describes Donald Trump. Love him or hate him - he's flexible and he's in control.
That said, people have a habit of calling someone crazy when he or she does not bend and sway to their collective demands.
For instance, women are called crazy when they won't clean up after guys, or let them sleep around unprotected with hookers, or give them tons of money, or question their pathological lies.
Presidents are called crazy when they march to the beat of a different drummer.
Calling one crazy does not necessarily mean that a person is mentally ill or has a personality disorder. It could mean that they have the unmitigated gall to call asshats out on their bad behavior or ignore the dictates of a bunch of loud mouthed people who may or may not know what they're talking about.
That is why when men call their exes crazy, I tend to run off before I get branded as a crazy, too.
No, this is not a politically correct statement -but- it is helpful in explaining advanced psychological concepts in an easy to remember fashion.
******
It took me eleven days to get the documents my ex requested. He is refusing to work and wants to lower his child support......Not that he's ever paid child support.
I received a letter demanding a lot of information about my life.
Michael was beginning to scare me. He's been angry that I stopped paying his auto insurance in March. He was angry that I let a homeless girl live in the basement apartment. I think he wants my car.
I let him use my mini-van because he said it would help him keep his job. I signed the title over to him when it was wrecked and the person who caused the accident offered him $2,000. I thought it be money that could help him move out.
I shouldn't have listened. When he asked to use my Buick, I declined.
When he found out I was looking for work and was at home more, he started to make crazy demands on my time. He wanted me to hunt down documents to deliver to him. He didn't want me to mail them to him. I couldn't tape them in an envelope on the front door because he didn't want to pick them up.
He expected me to drop them off to him. He was rarely where he said he would be. He'd be angry if I kept him waiting (because I driving from bus stop to bus stop looking for him). I would spend hours attending to these demands during the week.
If I wouldn't do what he asked, I would get a series of emails complaining that I didn't help him.
After a few days of harassing me to get paperwork from him, he started demanding that I drop the kids off to the movie theater during weekdays. I think I was supposed to pay for the movies, too. The day he asked corresponded with a job interview. It was a Tuesday afternoon. I asked that it be another day so I could prepare for my interview.
At this point, he sent me a scathing email telling me I was uncooperative and that I would be even if he gave me seven days notice of a change in plans. I thought about it and realized that if I had seven days notice to help him, I could schedule my job interviews around his demands.
I wrote back telling him I liked the idea of a seven day notice for visitation that occurs outside of his normal schedule. At this point, he wrote back saying that he didn't want to see the kids. He also expressed anger that the state had contacted him asking him to pay child support through their registry.
He was in court for contempt a few months ago. I needed to get him out of my home. The judge noted that he hadn't paid child support. I asked the judge not to send him to jail and stated that I would have any payments logged through the state so they're kept track of. Apparently, Michael did not approve.
*****
Now, I have to provide documents pertaining to my life. After I was laid off from my job, I lost access to the computer system (rightfully so). Although I was receiving direct deposits of monies owed by the company, I did not receive the paycheck stubs.
It took two weeks to get this information from my former employer so I could get it to Michael.
******
Thursday was a disappointing day.
I stopped taking hypnosis clients because I wanted my schedule clear for when I started work on Monday, August 7th.
I called to verify the time and place to report to work and was told that I would only be working from August 28th to December 31.
So...I've decided to look for another opportunity.
I did follow through and spent the afternoon at a drug clinic to prove that I don't smoke pot.
I'm allergic to hemp.
It explains why all my hippie clothes itch and why my hemp shampoo made my hair fall out
It's hard to be a bohemian when you're allergic to pot.
After waiting for two hours I was told that I drank too much water and the test was non-conclusive. It's up to the company to decide if they want me to go through the test again.
I may not have a job on August 28th after all.
That only means that there's something better out there for me.
******
After visiting the drug clinic I took my documents to the child support office. I mentioned that I was feeling a bit pressured to let Michael off the hook for child support due to the demands he was making on my time earlier.
They saw my WARN lay-off notice. They saw copies of my severance checks and business profit and loss statements.
The lady who took the paperwork expressed empathy for the loss of my job.
I mentioned that I had applied for a job in their office but I was not bi-lingual. I also applied for the division that works with Medicaid and was supposed to start next week but that Trump had cut the budget so it is on hold.
Typically, they only help non-custodial parents find work.
They said they'd help me. Apparently, they are testing the waters in helping custodial parents find better jobs.
I would like that very much.
Maybe something good will come from Michael's skating around his monetary responsibilities.
If I manage to get a good job the first thing I'll do is start paying off his creditors that are hounding me.
May all the good that you do come back to you a thousand fold.
Love ya,
S.
Edit: 08/15/2017
Well....the Child Support office is a tad bit dishonest.
1.) The Child Support Office does not help custodial parents find jobs or gain job skills. The woman that told me that was mistaken. They only help non-custodial parents do that. Since Colorado is a state where both parents' incomes play a role in the determination of child support, it doesn't really help the non-custodial parent if I cannot earn decent money. My aim would be to negate the need for child support.
2.) Two Child Support representatives promised that I'd have to agree to a modification. That is not true. It took two business days for them to send me a letter stating they will modify his child support down by 55% because he submitted paycheck stubs for a $12 an hour job at a call center. They would modify without my consent unless I could prove that their math was faulty.
I had to hire a lawyer because the child support office claimed they couldn't talk to me anymore. That lawyer sent them a 19 page document detailing how they are acting incongruently with Colorado law by not looking at what my ex was making.
Okay.....I'm now considering hiring a collection agency so I can get the case away from this organization. They're going to reward my ex for his bad behavior. This is going to cause trouble for my kids.
It's stupid to reward someone for engaging in self-sabotage. My ex always manages to get fired right after I file for a court hearing or ask for mediation. That way, he can claim poverty.
I think the game is to take a low paying job and submit those few paycheck stubs as proof. Then after the dust settles, go back to being an accountant/auditor.
I find this infuriating because I held a management position at a call center prior to my lay off. I dealt with motivating agents. As such, I often heard about jobs from competitors. A friend who managed a call center at a cable company offered my ex the opportunity to interview with a competitor making $16 an hour. My ex flat out refused. The sad thing is that this competitor is in need of people who can understand statistics and analytics - he'd move up the food chain quickly. My ex yelled at me when I mentioned it.
I'll be quiet.
I won't reward crappy behavior.
I'm looking into hiring a private firm to collect the past due support. If I do that, the state of Colorado can't get their dirty hands on anything enable my ex to continue his games.
He's playing poverty.
Don't reward that.
It does get creepier. He found out the young lady was no longer living in my basement apartment. My ex is being nice as pie and talking me up to other people. I think he wants to move back into my house.
NO....I can't let him move back in.
I will not reward him for playing games.
I do not feel sorry for him.
He brought this nonsense on himself.