Today I am thankful that I can label hoovering.
I had a busy day. I took the day off and wound up seeing three hypnosis clients and visiting the dentist.
I'd hoped to spend the night in my makeshift recording studio...but I fell asleep editing the recordings.
I have to edit out every unnatural sound, every plane that flies overhead, every car that zooms down the street....
You have to be awake for that!
I was energetic until I checked my email.
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Today was interesting to say the least.
I put in a couple of applications for counseling jobs.
I met a business coach that I might hire.
I also tried to clean out the basement.
My ex left one hell of a mess in the basement, piles of paper, clothes.....mold on the wall.....food and dishes all over....mice....yuck!
That's exhausting.
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I'm also a little bit annoyed at my ex-husband.
I've noticed that he's been calling the landline. There haven't been any messages. He calls on the days I take off from work.
He emailed me today....not to offer to pay child support....not to visit the children....but he wanted me to deliver papers to him that he claims are on the desk in the basement.
He told me to get his college transcripts so that he could get a real job.
Yeah ..why under employ yourself when alimony isn't a possibility?
I guess he won that round.
He claimed that he left them his college transcripts on the desk.
He did NOT!
There are piles of paper in the basement. This is why I'm going to lose my job.
My boss wants me to work from home. I have to clean up the house so the cable installation guy can get to the walls and install high speed broadband cable.
I have to have a paperless room that will pass inspection within ten days. There can be no mold on the floor or the walls, it has to pass whatever tests my employer has for it.
It has to be clean.
It has to be completely devoid of paper.
This guy thinks I can find his college transcripts?
I tried....I took 30 minutes to look for them. I used to keep them in a locked filing cabinet.
They weren't there.
They weren't on the desk.
His request bugs me.....
What does he think?
I'm going to leave his stuff as he left it? In piles? With food all around it?
Did he not think I'd have to clean up his crap?
He also complained that he didn't get the mail I forwarded to him weeks ago.
It hit me....
these requests....
they are excuses to visit the house.
He has his mail sent here as an excuse to come by.
I can't dare let him step foot in this house. The last time I did that, he refused to leave!
I realize now....
it's not over.
I'm probably going to have to find a way to move, aren't I?
I guess I'll leave that to the lawyers. The original separation agreement stated that we had to live three miles apart.
I may have to move a tad bit further than that to survive.
I guess I'll take this time to fall asleep.....maybe I can dream up more beautiful hypnotic meditations to give to my clients.
It's good to focus on the positive. There are times, though, when I have to jump out of the dream and see things the way they are.
I'm not out of the woods, am I?
The stalking is still a possibility.
I'm so tired of cleaning up after my ex and dealing with his shit....literally....you should have seen the poop I had to scrape out of the basement bathroom.
It's exhausting.
I'm off to bed.
Make sure you take care of yourselves, too.
Love ya,
S.
Next Day Edit: I think I'm supposed to forget about this crap. I can't. It's strange having your in-laws follow you around, harass your colleagues and block you in your driveway. It's bizarre having your ex stay in your house three years after your divorce is final without your consent.
Things are strange.
I don't know if they are dangerous.
They're uncomfortable.
I wish I knew what it was I am dealing with.
Edit Two Days Later: I'm wondering about the not visiting the children game. I'm wondering if it is leverage? He's facing jail now for his lack of honoring our divorce agreement (e.g. not moving out, not giving me the full settlement, not paying child support and so on). I haven't even mentioned his refusing to honor the parenting agreement and the property damage to the judge.
He's in contempt. He's facing jail time for that. There is a good chance he'll go to jail on the 30th of March.
I notice a lot of men don't visit their kids. These are the kind of men who don't pay child support. They say they don't pay child support because their ex-wives are withholding the children from them.
I don't believe that. Most women will welcome the time to themselves. I think guys who play this game are making excuses to avoid child support.
I wonder if he's trying to set me up?
Maybe it's leverage? Maybe he'll use a claim of parental alienation to shut me up. I really need that money he took from me so I can move forward. I know I'll never get it.
This IS what happens when men meddle with their wife's career. I'm in this boat because of the stalking and being run out of jobs and school. If he hadn't played those games, I'd be paying him support.
He's lucky he got away with refusing to work. I probably wouldn't have asked for rehabilitative alimony anyway. The first judge offered it to me. I deferred it for 18 months. At the 18th month, my ex "lost" his job. Because he was unemployed, the judge refused to review it.
He got lucky.
Or maybe not? Maybe these are games?
Maybe the contact was about trying to get me to talk to him in the hopes of dropping the contempt order. It's too late. He didn't show up to the last hearing. The order for his arrest is set in stone. I just asked that it be deferred until March 30th.
This is too crazy. It's too much.
I really don't want these games in my house or my life.
It's exhausting.