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Mediation

Today I am thankful for mediation.


My ex had a job interview today.

Hooray! 

It was a first interview, so I don't know how it went for him.

My deadline to file a court case for modification is Friday.  I need to do it today if possible.

I mentioned this to my ex.

I told him that I'd like him to come to an agreement about moving out.

He seems shocked.

I don't know why he'd be shocked.

He also said that he would only help with the kids if he lived here.  Um....no.  He has 50% custody, he'll get his chance to parent.  He doesn't have to live with me to do that.

He says that he's here to help me.  I asked him how he's helping me and didn't get a straight answer.

So.....

He's promising to go to court to file a motion to increase the amount of time I have to ask for alimony.

I can't do that.  It's been two years.

I told him that I'd like to know when he's going to move out, get permission to move of the city due to the stalking, have a payment plan in place for the $10,000 he took and get my name off of the mini-van and checking account.

He didn't think that was necessary. 

I think it is.  I fear what will happen if he gets in a crash or bounces a check.

He also promised to let me date other men.

I can't do that while he is here.

It feels creepy. 

I tried to explain how weird it was to have someone decide what you need without talking to you.

That smacks of control.  That smacks of narcissism. 

He says he doesn't know what to do.

I do.

Let's make an agreement and stick to it!

I can't live like this anymore.

I am alone.  I hide in my room.  I don't know what is going on.  I grind my teeth so much at night that I'm breaking my lower teeth despite wearing a custom made night guard.

I don't know why I feel guilty for asking for what I need.

I am afraid of every little knock on the door, ring of the telephone and strange sound outside of the house.

This is a weird situation.

I hope mediation works this time. 

It's a good thing that I see my therapist tomorrow.

Love ya,

S.

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