Today I am thankful that I have my
sHit-List
and can laugh manically.
I feel like a fool.
I feel like I did when the man I married as a teenager had a woman come looking for him on my days off when I was sick at home. He'd beat me so he could spend the night somewhere else. When I finally got sick of being put in the hospital I left my apartment and she immediately moved in.
For many years, I still believed him when he denied the affair. His mistress, now wife, had to explain it to me when she was complaining about him cheating on her.
I feel like I did when my ex-husband and I were trying to gain custody of my run-away, orphan sister. While she was living with us, she started getting bizarre phone calls all hours of the day and night. I had a guy friend of hers try to rape me (beat the shit out of him - you know, PTSD) and tell me that if I wanted custody of her, I had to pay him for his financial losses. The Denver Department of Human Services gave him custody despite him having many dildos on display in the living room of his house. For years, I had people calling me and harassing me because they thought she was a hooker. She had her name slandered publicly. She accused me of putting out fliers telling everyone she was a hooker. Why would I do that? That was weird. Well.....after she and her alleged pimp threatened to kill me, I called the police. They arrested her for drug distribution and prostitution. It took about twenty years for me to realize that she was a hooker.
I'm a little dense.
When it comes to people I love, it's hard for me to see the truth of who they are.
I'm still a little bit troubled by Michael's call to a therapist. He wants to "ask" his family to "back off" in a way that is "not too harsh." He also told her that there has never been a threat on my life (there have been two verbal threats and countless physical ones). He said that he regretted cutting off from his family (which he really hadn't done).
That didn't bother me.
The latest discussion involves a garage door and keys.
I couldn't get into the house easily. The garage door is sticky. Michael said that he had fixed it.
Since Michael's sister broke into the front door in 2012, I've never had a key to the new set of locks. There were four made. I never got one. I waited for the divorce to be final and Michael to move out in the hopes of rekeying the locks myself.
He never moved out.
Since then, I have discovered damage to the door and door jam. I have had bizarre people trying to get into my house (by pretending to be cable installers or insurance agents) and bang on the door shortly before engaging in property damage.
The back door lock was changed because someone left bloody underwear on the back porch. It broke shortly afterwards. Someone had done something to it and damaged the lock so it had to be replaced yet again.
I woke up one morning to discover that the door was damaged. The locks were immediately changed.
Little did I know that the keys were sitting next to the back door. Michael says they went missing years ago. He doesn't seem concerned.
You know....if someone is breaking into your house and your keys are going missing. It's a good idea to change the locks....again.
His lack of concern bothers me.
His lack of dealing with the stalking bothers me.
The yelling.....the insanity....the picking on the kids when I am not home and the kids telling me that I need to move out because they are uncomfortable when I am in my house with their father.
I can't take it anymore.
I have something up my sleeve.
I wish people would tell the truth.
There are some things that once you see - you can't un-see.
I was a fool.
I really was.
Love ya,
S.
S.