Today I am thankful for dreams:
The one I had this morning alerted me to the fact that I am under surveillance.
My therapist has asked me to keep a dream journal. I said I would. I bought a little leather journal but never write in it. I tell myself that I'll remember every detail. I know I probably won't.
I tend to have two recurring dreams.
In the first version, I'm usually cleaning something and a man is standing behind me trying to tell me that I need to do things for him. The men are usually Michael or Steve. I'm usually recounting the bullshit they've pulled in the past.
In these dreams, I'll be cleaning something and find a piece of paper with blurred writing. In one, I'm cleaning a refrigerator and this paper is stuck under a magnet. In another, I am sweeping and it is on the floor. I can never get close enough to read it.
I tend to have two recurring dreams.
In the first version, I'm usually cleaning something and a man is standing behind me trying to tell me that I need to do things for him. The men are usually Michael or Steve. I'm usually recounting the bullshit they've pulled in the past.
In these dreams, I'll be cleaning something and find a piece of paper with blurred writing. In one, I'm cleaning a refrigerator and this paper is stuck under a magnet. In another, I am sweeping and it is on the floor. I can never get close enough to read it.
I am thinking that the papers are probably representative of break-up notes and/or a divorce decree (or an official break-up note).
In the second dreams, I am talking to some mythical sentient being about my life and they are performing therapy and telling me what to look out for. I once had dreamt of the Goddess Artemis telling me to keep my children safe from my ex-husband. I once dreamt of a Watcher (fallen angel from Genesis) tell me to avoid dating men with red flags.
In the second dreams, I am talking to some mythical sentient being about my life and they are performing therapy and telling me what to look out for. I once had dreamt of the Goddess Artemis telling me to keep my children safe from my ex-husband. I once dreamt of a Watcher (fallen angel from Genesis) tell me to avoid dating men with red flags.
In these dreams, they will have me recount things I've seen and heard through the day. Then they will repeat it back to me.....kinda like a therapist would do.
In my dream last night, I am in my walk-in closet looking for a dress to wear for a dinner date with an old friend from high school. This friend and I go back quite a way. We never dated. We never had a sexual interest in each other. I've been to all of his weddings. He was my ex's best friend in high school. In this dream, I am going out to dinner to meet his fiancé.
In my dream last night, I am in my walk-in closet looking for a dress to wear for a dinner date with an old friend from high school. This friend and I go back quite a way. We never dated. We never had a sexual interest in each other. I've been to all of his weddings. He was my ex's best friend in high school. In this dream, I am going out to dinner to meet his fiancé.
I am in my closet, going through my clothes. Do I want to wear my pink flower dresses? Or my red suit? How 'bout Cougar? Should I go with basic boring black?
There is a camera in the light above me. I'd best choose black and grab a pair of ugly undies, too. That way it is obvious that it is not a fling.
Then I go downstairs. My phone rings. It is a client. Do I dare answer? I choose not to answer out of fear of a potential HIPPA violation. I can't answer my phone and betray my clients if it is possible someone else is listening in.
I dreamt that I was recounting these experiences to a demon and wondering why humans were so much more frightening than Satan's henchmen. The demon's reply.....well.....was that true power and control lies in knowing one has what he truly needs. Only insecure entities need to scare others and threaten to harm them.
A demon doesn't threaten. A demon doesn't attack. A demon just provides the opportunity to allow people to exercise their free will. Some people just can't help ruining their own reputations.
The trick is to live in such a way that others tricks and tactics won't harm you.
I was also warned to de-activate the cameras, too. Demons only come when invited. They'll leave when told to go away.
Stalkers with cameras, won't go away. The come whether or not they are invited. It is up to me to cut their power.
There is a camera in the light above me. I'd best choose black and grab a pair of ugly undies, too. That way it is obvious that it is not a fling.
Then I go downstairs. My phone rings. It is a client. Do I dare answer? I choose not to answer out of fear of a potential HIPPA violation. I can't answer my phone and betray my clients if it is possible someone else is listening in.
I dreamt that I was recounting these experiences to a demon and wondering why humans were so much more frightening than Satan's henchmen. The demon's reply.....well.....was that true power and control lies in knowing one has what he truly needs. Only insecure entities need to scare others and threaten to harm them.
A demon doesn't threaten. A demon doesn't attack. A demon just provides the opportunity to allow people to exercise their free will. Some people just can't help ruining their own reputations.
The trick is to live in such a way that others tricks and tactics won't harm you.
I was also warned to de-activate the cameras, too. Demons only come when invited. They'll leave when told to go away.
Stalkers with cameras, won't go away. The come whether or not they are invited. It is up to me to cut their power.
I woke up.
What a weird dream!!!
What a weird dream!!!
******
Just a quick note -
Um......
Beware of ex-husbands gifting brand
new survellience systems.
Um.....
When he set the system up for me, he
unplugged the VOIP phone and inserted the camera.
He sat in front of me and played a recording of the conversations we had in the living room and footage of the view from the living room window.
He sat in front of me and played a recording of the conversations we had in the living room and footage of the view from the living room window.
Then we went to Washington. He was
very kind. I didn't have to take him to the airport. He drove the
van to the bus station. I just took the bus to the station and
picked it up for him. He even gave me bus fare.
That was nice.
He called me last night to ask if I picked up the van.
I did.
That was nice.
He called me last night to ask if I picked up the van.
I did.
Then he mentioned that he was watching
the current footage from the camera....from his hotel room....in
Seattle!
Um......
Um.....
I cut the power to the outlet. This is a little bit creepy.
I cut the power to the outlet. This is a little bit creepy.
******
Yes, on another note, I have been frustrated with the behavior of the local rights commission coming down on bakers. I became livid when they went after a baker who did not NOT want to write homophobic slurs on a bible shaped cake.
Yes, on another note, I have been frustrated with the behavior of the local rights commission coming down on bakers. I became livid when they went after a baker who did not NOT want to write homophobic slurs on a bible shaped cake.
I have an idea.
This is one of those ideas I have to
keep under the vest until it comes to fruition.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
It doesn't matter what side of the coin
you are on: harassing bakers is going to kill public support for the
gay rights movement. I don't get the whole cake thing: I know
bakers who step up to offer free cakes to gay couples in this
situation.
I don't understand the furor, unless these couples are after a free cake.
I do understand the furor over forcing people to take on anti-gay art projects. If a government can force an artist to take one job, it can force an artist to take another.
I don't understand the furor, unless these couples are after a free cake.
I do understand the furor over forcing people to take on anti-gay art projects. If a government can force an artist to take one job, it can force an artist to take another.
It needs to stop.
I'll let you know if this works.
And P.S. "Suck my balls" is not a valid argument for forcing artists to bake cakes. Neither is "you're a bigot" and "let them eat cake!" Part of me wonders if the religious right doesn't pay people to act like gay activists on forums to posit such stupid arguments. I doubt it: That's probably just my learned paranoia talking.
I'm in therapy for that.
Ol' Siegfred has an idea to stop the madness. I guess it doesn't matter who is being tyrannical. It has to stop.
Wish me luck!
Love ya,
S.
P.S. Oh....for some reason when I hear politicians complain that gay people deserve cake, I think of Portal It's not about the cake. It's about marriage equality. Why were these same politicians so slow to grant that?
No one answers that question.
It's not about cake....focus on what you truly want.
I'll let you know if this works.
And P.S. "Suck my balls" is not a valid argument for forcing artists to bake cakes. Neither is "you're a bigot" and "let them eat cake!" Part of me wonders if the religious right doesn't pay people to act like gay activists on forums to posit such stupid arguments. I doubt it: That's probably just my learned paranoia talking.
I'm in therapy for that.
Ol' Siegfred has an idea to stop the madness. I guess it doesn't matter who is being tyrannical. It has to stop.
Wish me luck!
Love ya,
S.
P.S. Oh....for some reason when I hear politicians complain that gay people deserve cake, I think of Portal It's not about the cake. It's about marriage equality. Why were these same politicians so slow to grant that?
No one answers that question.
It's not about cake....focus on what you truly want.