Funny Stalking Advice

Today I am thankful for therapists with a sense of humor.

So....I went to see my shrink today.

She knows all about the crazy crap I used to put up with from my now deceased sister-in-law.

She knows about the crazy stuff I endured from my sister-in-law's fiancé, who often accompanied her on her crazy journeys.

She knows that Shannon is dead.

The fiancé's name is Doug.

That Doug formerly lived an hour away but moved within blocks of my house in October of last year. Yeah.....county records can help people uncover amazing information.

Doug refers to me as Satan.

He has, quite literally, walked up to me, grabbed my shoulder and said "Hi, Satan!"

I laughed.

I shouldn't have laughed.

I think laughing made him do weirder stuff.

It was funny....at the time.

Yesterday he was messing with me at the house. He had blocked my driveway and didn't move the massive truck he was driving until I started to back out onto the grass.

At first, I wasn't sure it was him. I followed him to an address that turned out to be registered to him.

Now I want to know what he wants.

I have been given instructions.

The next time I run into him, I am supposed to light a match (so it smells like sulfur),

take a deep breath in,

and in my loudest voice query

Why did you summon the all mighty Satan???!!!

Bow down to me, you mere mortal!!!

That would be funny.

I think I'll just buy another camera for the front yard.

*****
My therapist had a theory. That theory is that my mother-in-law is trying to use her contacts to get her son away from me. She thinks they may be watching the house to see if Michael still lives here.

She based that theory on things I told her about being accused of hypnotizing her son to stay away from her and being told to go away so he'd move back in with his mother.

Michael will NOT speak to his mother. His mother blames me. She's trying to get me out of the picture.

She succeeded!

Shouldn't that be enough??!!

Well......

hmmmm.......

I guess I need to get the word out about our divorce.

How does one do that?

I don't know. I'd be crying if I weren't laughing so damn hard right now!

Who is the devil in this case?

Me

or my former in-laws?

Love ya,

S.

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