Today I am thankful for acceptance but am starting to get a tad bit irritated by the tug of war between gay rights activists and conservatives.
I'm really beginning to become irritated by the whole gay rights -vs- anti-gay rights crowd. I'm not against people having equal rights. I don't want them losing jobs, homes, opportunity, health care and all of those things that the pursuit of happiness requires. I don't want to put myself in harms way just so that a small group of people feel more accepted.
It would seem to me that both the groups of people are pushing for acceptance to the detriment of other people. On one hand, we have people who want to feel free to be themselves in public (even if some of the rules they want to apply put people at risk of rape). On the other hand, we have people afraid of re-enacting the Biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah (so they try to control the sexuality of other people).
Enough Already!
*******
On Friday I had someone ask me to put together a Gay Conversion Hypnosis Recording to share across YouTube.
NO!
Absolutely NOT!
To me, that feels like shaming.
Can you imagine what would happen if a young kid, researching his (or her) sexual identity, stumbles into something like that?
I would think it would make him or her feel ashamed. It could create doubt as to whether or not the child is good enough because of who he or she naturally is. It would create harm.
Because most of my gay friends are male, I think of men. I think of them as young boys being told they are less than other males because of who they are.
For the person making the request, I offered to do one on acceptance instead. I wanted him to clarify if he wanted one on self-acceptance or acceptance of others.
I never heard back.
*****
My friends have cautioned me to be more accepting of bigots.
Geesh!
Do I have to fear getting sued now?
People will threaten to sue you for NOT catering to gay people. People will threaten to sue you for NOT catering to the anti-gay groups.
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2015/01/22/us/ap-us-anti-gay-cake-discrimination.html?_r=0
What the hell is going on?
Stop Suing People!
*******
Planet Fitness is starting a big hullabaloo after they kicked a woman out of one of their gyms for complaining about a biological male in the woman's dressing room.
This individual (biologically a man) claimed to be a transgendered male who was afraid to use the dressing rooms with men.
So, one would think, that this individual would understand the fear a woman would have finding a biological male in the dressing room.
One would easily understand that this person wants to keep his/her privacy intact. This is probably why the other people in the club did not know about the "transgendered" status.
***Edit: The man has been found (scroll into the comments to find his identity). He is a heterosexual cross-dresser and NOT a gym member. If one looks at his Facebook page, one can see that he identifies as a "male slut." That would mean that he is not transgendered. He sees himself as a male. He used the dressing room simply to hang his purse and coat. Fair enough....
Just be forewarned that Planet Fitness is fighting a class action lawsuit because someone was secretly videotaping women in one of their tanning salons. They should know that there are perverts out there who will bend the rules. This is one of those rules that lends itself to abuse: someone will eventually try to put a camera in the locker room to tape people getting undressed. It is inevitable.
http://www.iclubs.com/law-liability/class-action-lawsuit-filed-against-planet-fitness-over-hidden-camera-incident.html
This type of policy allows real perverts to get away with harassing women (and transgendered people as well).
Before you get too hyped up about this....ask yourself....how many times have you probably gone to the bathroom with a transgendered person and NEVER NOTICED?
I'd say it probably happens more than we think it does, especially in areas with a diverse population.
I only noticed a man in the bathroom once. It was at a King Soopers store in the suburbs. The man was dressed as a man: he wore a forest green button up shirt and tan khakis. I walked in the restroom and apologized because I thought I went through the wrong door. He told me that I was in the right place.
It wasn't a big deal. He went to a stall. He came out. He washed his hands.
All was well.
If he were staring at me, I'd probably have had a problem with it.
That's the problem. There are men, who are not transsexual, who will take advantage of this. Who will the victims be? Anyone who uses those dressing rooms.
*****
You can try to explain to people why this would scare a woman. Women do get raped. Women are conditioned to expect a certain level of privacy in dressing rooms. We expect not to have to dress around unfamiliar biological males.
We do what we can to be safe.
When you point that out, you get called a bigot!
I guess that means that the only points of view that count are those of the minority?
Not allowing for the sense of safety among individuals creates harm. Deliberately putting forth a policy that can be misused by sexual predators creates harm. I don't think people necessarily fear transgendered individuals; they fear predatory men being in the ladies locker room. How does one differentiate one from the other?
Ignoring that reality is problematic.
That is going to backfire big time!
Geesh.....
I don't know what this country is coming to -but- I can see it now.
There are going to be a whole slew of laws pushed forward to protect people who do not identify with the sex identity society gives them due to their chromosomal heritage. In response, there will be more laws pushed through that give people a religious exemption to do their jobs!
We don't need any more laws!
So now, my thoughts turn to how to prevent more laws from hitting the books -and- how to protect people from voyeurs.
Planet Fitness has the right to do business as it sees fit. Sure....but if I saw a truck speeding towards a brick wall, I'd honk my horn to try to get the driver's attention.
This is problematic, not only for the business, but for women who frequent this establishment.
If things don't change, I guarantee that someone will get raped. I (and many other women) are honking our horns. I'm not sure we're going to change the course of this business or the women who will be impacted by it.
At least we can say that we tried.
*******
What do we do with people who don't identify with either sex?
I know someone like that. I have to call that person by their first name because there is no pronoun that works. The English language does not have a pronoun for someone that identifies as both a he and a she. The word "they" makes it sound like the person has a personality disorder.
How do we protect them? How do we make such people feel welcome?
Do we need to start having unisex bathrooms?
Wow....just wow.
Planet Fitness is not going to be around very much longer. I understand what they are trying to do....but...they are failing miserably.
On a personal level, if I get one more message calling me a bigot for pointing out the rape fears that some women have, I'm going to scream.
I don't think I'll donate to the Outright group again.
Sorry....but these activists have pushed me a tad bit too far with the threats of lawsuits and the pushiness.
I am saddened by the Conservative activists who try to harass others.
I'm growing irritated with the LGBT activists who do the same thing.
Good luck with the name calling and the hate.
I don't think people like myself are the judgmental ones.
Perhaps the movement needs to train their people on how to speak to others. I do see a backlash in the near future. I tried to be understanding but....there has to be understanding on all sides of the conversation. If the LGBT movement doesn't want to try seeing alternate points of view, it will get nowhere.
Pray I'm wrong.
Love ya,
S.
Edit: I have been researching the odds of men who dress like women raping women. I found a university in Bristol that claims women are raped by men (including transgendered males) every nine minutes (but can't find any explanation).
I think that part of the problem is that I don't know the accurate terms to search for. Do I search for transgendered? Do I search for cross-dresser? Do I search for bi-sexual? I'll work on it and post as needed.
Now, I knew many transgendered males when I hung out with the gay crowd back in the 80's. They taught me how to do make-up. They kept me safe from a rapist. Trust me, gay men are not weak. They know how to fight and stick up for each other. They've been doing it their entire lives.
In horror, I stumbled upon this story this evening. A woman was sexually assaulted by a man wearing a dress in a public restroom. This can and does happen. This happened on Friday. So much for all the activists who told me that these things don't happen and called me a Bigot for sharing my concerns.
I was hoping I would be wrong.
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Big-lots-sexual-assault-gregory-philip-Schwartz-san-diego-248669861.html