Skip to main content

Sad News




Today I am trying to be thankful for sad news.



My ex-husband brought me a copy of Shannon's death certificate. 

They didn't find the cancer until a few days before she died. 

There was no service.

She was cremated. 

I am sad for her. 


I am sad for her family. 


I feel guilty for feeling happy that the stalking has ended. 


Couldn't there have been another way?



It's going to take a while to process this.


*****
I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD.  I am in treatment. 

Things have been changing in my life. 

I will try to update soon. 

This is so very hard to process. 

I have had so many things change over the past eight weeks. 


I've started advertising again. 

I'm seeing clients. 

I was offered a job as a hostess. 


It doesn't pay well but it sounds like fun. 

I took a volunteer job as a publicity director for a local charity. 

I can get back out in the public eye. 

*****


Someone must be praying for me. 




I can only describe the changes as miraculous. 




Those miracles feel supernatural. 



Whoever you are, thank you for your prayers. 



I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start giving back.

I never thought that news of my stalker's death would make me cry. 

I sure hope Shannon is resting in peace and has moved on to brighter pastures. 


Love ya,



S. 

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor hi...
Read more

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP a...
Read more