Today I am thankful for the possibility of never having to wax again.
So -
I did a stupid thing this afternoon.
Yeah -
I sat on my mattress with my legs extended outward.
I had heavy duty nail glue in my lap as my boss likes us to look polished. I hate nail polish (takes too long to dry and chips too much). Little plastic nail shields only take a few minutes to glue on and take off.
So, I found these boring, short, nude fake plastic nails and industrial strength nail glue that I bought from AlliExpress.
As I'm sitting my bed, the 1 ounce bottle tips towards my belly spilling out most of the contents of the bottle on my pants. Like a dummy, I try to grab the bottle with my right hand. At this point, my right hand is stuck to my pants which is stuck to my underwear which is stuck to my body.
My pants literally smoked!!
Seriously - that's the most heat that part of me has experienced in a long, long time.
Nail glue is supposedly water soluble, so I wound up hopping in the tub fully clothed trying not to cry due to the pain.
It took about an hour to get my clothes cut off of me.
I'm thankful that I don't have a boyfriend. If I did, well - there wouldn't have been anything to protect my skin from the chemical burn.
The damage?
Well.....
I have a third degree burn on the palm and thumb of my bass slapping hand.
I have another in a very delicate place. There is also a second degree burn there, too.
I also have two second degree burns; one on each of my inner thighs.
My new mattress is probably ruined, too. Only on one side. I could probably flip it when my hand heals.
At least my nails look perfectly fake.
*****
It helps to think of the positives.
I didn't lose the hair on my head.
No one will probably ever see the scars. There is a chance that the damage to my skin is so severe that hair may never grow there again.
Perhaps I can find a funny retort for that annoying question about the carpet matching the drapes. Maybe something like - "well, not after the chemical burn incident of 2021."
If it scars, I wonder what people are going to think I'm into.
It's bad enough with the acoustic foam glued to my bedroom walls and my leather dominatrix coat. That's not to mention the bruises I get when I fall asleep on hard cover textbooks.
This is just going to cause more guys to slink away from me.
Don't laugh. I've literally had guys see bruises and say they're not into rough stuff before running off.
Being clumsy is bad for the ol' love life.
*****
So - there is a lesson here -
don't buy industrial strength glue from China to put on plastic fingernails.
If people don't like my ultra-short bass playing natural nails, they can kiss my chemically burned arse.
Some people are dumb enough to put their extremities into fast drying glue - can't believe I did that.
If using this type of super glue, use a table - not a bed where a dog can jump on it and cause caustic chemicals to spill.
This whole debacle made me ten minutes late to work. Thankfully my boss didn't understand what I meant by, spilled super glue on my legs and will be in once I dress the wound.
A colleague saw my hand. She thinks I should get myself medically treated.
The burns downtown are far worse, there is no way in hell a doctor or nurse is going to see those.
Sigh,
If you read this dumb thing, don't do the dumb shit I do.
Learn from my mistakes, don't live them.
Thank goodness I've got numbing aloe vera gel. I'm gonna need that.
Love ya lots,
S.
Next Day Edit:
My boss has a rule that I cannot miss work unless I can find someone to cover for me. I couldn't find anyone. We're short staffed. People are exhausted.
Well, long story short -
I had to go to the Emergency Room. My doctor told me so. The nurse at work told me so. The nurse at the urgent care told me to get to a hospital.
I waited 36 hours so I could go after my shift. I just got home from the hospital.
They called me by a name I hadn't heard in 32 years. Apparently, I was there when I was attacked with a hammer and sustained a subdural hematoma. Luckily, all my information was on file. They even reminded me that I was allergic to hydrocodone. Lucky me!
My right hand is infected and there is a possibility of nerve damage. I didn't get medical care in time.
So, if you are chemically burned
MAKE SURE TO GET MEDICAL ATTENTION WITHIN 24 HOURS!
The all caps is for your benefit.
Maybe that urge to buy a left handed bass was a good one. I'll probably have to relearn to play. I can't feel the wound on my right palm and thumb, that is what scared the nurse I work with.
The other wounds hurt pretty badly. They are much worse than I thought. I won't be bike riding anytime soon.
Sniff -
No, I didn't let the adorable young EMT who looked like my nephew clean those wounds. I told him I'm Red Cross certified, so I can fix those wounds myself.
It can fall off for all I care.
Still, I'm in pain. I probably won't sleep very much tonight.
It's kinda funny. I'm wrapped up like a mummy.
I fell asleep around 10:00 this morning because of the pain. I woke up at 1:00 p.m.
Wouldn't you know it?
I had one of those dreams that keep me from sleeping.
Sigh -
An old friend was hugging me and apologizing for hurting me.
Thankfully, the dream was so shocking, I woke up numb (at least for a bit).
Well, I'm going to try to sleep so I can wake up early to get some antibiotics for my infected right hand.
It would have to be my drawing, bass slapping hand, wouldn't it?
Sometimes I have really amazing good luck
or really amazing sour luck.
Originally, I was left handed until my religious grandma got to me. Maybe learning to play bass with my left hand will be easier than I think.
I mean, I shoot with my left hand....
My dad always made me write with my left hand....
Maybe it's all good.
Take care of you -
if you don't take care of your body, where are you gonna live?
Am I right?
Hugs,
S.