Warped Gratitude Blog

  Today I am thankful for stories; they are often the easiest teaching tool.  The other day I had an interesting conversation with a social worker.  She complained that one of her patients was stuck at a certain year -  let's say... 2008.  This man talks about 2008 constantly.  He shares photos of 2008 and letters of 2008.  I asked her, what happened that year?  Well, three members of his family died.  His best friend died in front of his eyes.  His spouse died.  He lost his home.   The man was wealthy.   Sadly, the evil eye is real.  Covetousness is real.  The U.S. justice system enables abusive lawyers to swoop in and take control of the wealth of well-to-do elders.  There were fights over his assets**.   The lawyers threw him out of his numerous homes.  The man was then homeless while everything went through probate and the relatives fought over the estate.   His wealth started to drain away.  He rarely has food.  Sadly, this is something I've seen numerous times through the

 Today I am thankful for a laugh.  It didn't start out funny.  My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer.   My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent.  I pointed at the shed.  "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked.  "Yes.", she replied.  "That happens all the time!"   She advised me to chain the door.  I've done that.  The thief just tears the roof off.  It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants.  Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess.  My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me.  I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years.  Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allow me to move if I ask

  Today I am thankful for ...  Well, I'm not sure yet.  It's Friday but I'm in school so there is no such thing as a weekend.  I think I'm suffering from a broken heart -  or I'm gonna have a heart attack.  This week sucked.  It started on my birthday. I took the day off of work to clean up the house because workplace birthdays are AWKWARD.  They'll ask how old I am -and- I'll relate the memory of dirt being created.  Not fun... So I decided to stay home and clean.  Much of the mess belonged to one of my adult daughters.  It was irritating.  When she got home, I wanted to buy dinner for everyone.  We discussed Chinese Food as a birthday dinner.  No one wanted to go to a restaurant so I offered to take everyone's orders and drive to pick it up.  No one...not one of the three kids living here wanted to tell me what they wanted or help me pick it up.  My feelings were hurt. It was my birthday but it was the same old thing.  I was to do everything, even mana

  Today I am thankful for valerian-infused Vodka.  For years, I've had creepy dreams of an old,  old,  old, old,  old,  I think there needs to be one more... old... boyfriend.  The dreams are either of him dying gruesome deaths  or ruining our lives.  The dreams creep me out to the point I scream his name.  The screaming the name makes it hard for me to be in an intimate relationship.  So -  I have a huge house to myself  and a whole slew of lies I tell if someone is here and happens to hear me scream out that infernal name.  My favorite line is:  "I dreamt I was Getty Lee singing...." Modern Day Warrior,  mean,   mean,   stride... No one buys the lie, ever.  I thought it would be okay if I fell in love with a guy with that name.  It's never happened.  There is a beautiful man named Tim, though.  We had so very much in common; we both studied music, played numerous instruments, loved helping the homeless, we had a penchant for being in the public eye -  but he is a le

  Today I am thankful for the reminder that we are responsible for our own safety.  So... I had to take a kiddo to a doctor's appointment.  Sadly, I have a tendency to get lost (so don't ask me for directions or you'll accidentally discover new places, too) I wound up driving past Micro Center.  My kiddo was thirsty.  I pull over into the 7-11 to get her a Slurpee, myself a coffee, and a fancy coffee for Hermes.  It's Wednesday after all. I need to be better about honoring my deities as I'm pretty sure I irritated him a couple of months ago.* We get our loot, hop back into the car, and hit the road.  The moment I hit Quincy, I saw a fire in the middle of the road.  Seriously.....someone had dumped a bunch of hot coals near a bunch of overgrown, dried grass in the median.  By the time I made it near the fire, it grew a little larger.  I asked my kiddo to dial 911.  THEY HAD AN AUTOMATED SYSTEM WHICH PUT HER ON HOLD!  She was on hold for a couple of minutes before I a

  Today I am thankful that I have a dog and a camera system.  I'm just saddened that I let the batteries die in my camera after I broke my ankle so I didn't get a picture of the perp.  I came home Thursday, went out into the garage, and noticed a chair under the garage door opener with several feet of wire around the chair.  I initially thought they were pulled off of the walls.  I don't remember having wires on the wall but to be honest, I don't pay attention.  My tools were all over the place.  Baskets were moved.  No one can get into the house.  I still brace my doors with metal rods.  I learned my lesson after I caught Mike's sister breaking into the house.  Still....someone managed to get into the garage.  Sigh... Today I'm babysitting.  The young adults living here took the kiddo out to walk the dog.  I left to pick up the kiddo's favorite pizza.  When I came back, there were several feet of thick wire threaded through the top of the garage door.  Damn

  Today I am not sure what I'm thankful for.  I took my aunt out to lunch today.  I guess I can be thankful for that.  There was a homeless guy trying to sleep in a corner by a defunct restaurant that shut down in the early days of the pandemic.  Dumb politicians don't understand that the Covid meddling in business destroyed out economy and skyrocketed the numbers of our homeless population.  Enough rant for now... The sleeping man was African American.  He appeared to be in his early twenties.  All he had was a pillow and the clothes on his back - a dirty t-shirt and shorts. While waiting for the food, I bought a bottle of water, went outside and slipped it next to the man with a $10 bill under it.  I didn't have more dough with me.  The man was breathing.  He's alive.  He didn't smell of alcohol.  I didn't wake him up.  I left and went back inside the restaurant.  One man approached me to tell me that what I did made his day.  Later, another man approached me

Today I am thankful that I learned to fight and that I'm creative about how I go about it.  Did you know that you can be arrested in Denver for talking to a homeless person?  Yeah -  If a cop asks you to stop talking and move away from the homeless peep in a public area, they'll arrest you for what I call 'contempt of cop.'  Denver was conducting an illegal homeless sweep....again.   Hey - Denver!  Remember that tax hike you passed to help the homeless last November.  This is what your overlords decided to do with the dough - buy more garbage trucks!  YOU PAID FOR THAT!  I have an office in Denver.  I'm paying for that, too.   Know this - you can and will be arrested for failing to obey an invalid command from a police officer.  They'll call it valid.  Constitutionally, it is invalid.  It's obvious, the overlords at the City and County of Denver want to be sued.  I'm serious.  Sad, huh.  I must talk to fifteen homeless peeps a day in The City and County

  Today I am thankful for being a child of the 80's  (or maybe I should type adult child of the 80's).  So.... I think many of us are all to familiar with the Brittany Spears saga and the financial abuse she has suffered at the hands of her father who has taken over as her conservator.  This man dictates Britany's life, right down to the color she can paint her kitchen.  He also uses her financial stability as his personal piggy bank.  Britney Spears’s Conservatorship Nightmare | The New Yorker There are countless tales of conservator abuse.  I had a dear friend whose brother was a political activist.  An opposing political camp applied for conservatorship over his estate claiming him crazy.  He killed himself rather than lose his freedom.  I'm no stranger to the abuses of conservatorship.  I've spent many years training to spot it -and- I've developed relationships with people working in the regulatory agencies preventing those abuses.  As someone who specializ

  Today I am thankful that a blast from the past ex-boyfriend is no longer dying in my dreams.  Nope -  this is a good thing.  For the past week or so,  I've been dreaming that I get impaled in my car and die when first responders dry to get me out.  To be sure,  that is a far better thing to dream about than another human being dying.  Funny thing, in the dreams,  I'm wasting my last breath screaming at the other driver for being a moron.  Wow....road raging until the day I die.  Boy - my dream self sure likes to lay the guilt thick, doesn't she?  Oooh..... Well, at least I'm not cursing the poor soul.  ***** The dreams are possibly indicative of my anxiety about teaching three kids how to drive.   They've inspired me to control what I can control.  I wear my seatbelt now.  Just in case -  I'll wear clean underwear (although I'm not sure it'll matter if I scare myself),  bring my driver's license with me (so the paramedics can identify my body becau

  The song kinda resembles me....I've got far too much stuff and not enough time to pack it up and drive it to the local Goodwill.  Today I am thankful for three-year-old little girls.  I get to work just shy of 6:00 a.m.  As I'm always in a hurry, I have to take the stairs because they are closer to my office than the elevators.  The cast I'm wearing on my left leg clunks along each stair.  My foot gets number as I walk.  So what starts out as a fast rhythm, slows down considerably by the time I reach the second set of stairs.  I've gained 10 pounds since I burned myself and couldn't exercise.  I'm feeling incredibly unattractive.  As I'm walking up the stairs, I run into a beautiful little girl with dark curly hair and brown eyes.  She is alone.  We both stop and look at each other.  I'm looking all around for her guardian.  She stares up at me in astonishment  and exclames  "You look like Ariel!"  Oh my gosh, that made my day.  Scratch that,

Actually, I think I found my love.  His name is Charlie.   Could it be that I need a new love?  Maybe  its time for a Steinberger named Jared.   So today I'm thankful for knee jerk reactions; you know, those tiny subconscious reactions that keep us from dying.  I did stupid stuff that could have caused me to bite the dust a couple of times today  It was weird.  I'm not feeling very well.  It's hard for me to breathe.   This morning, I felt sick to my stomach.  Now, because I run into a large number of hungry, homeless folks... I always carry water and protein bars on my person.  I don't eat the protein bars anymore due to the fat content.  I just give them out to hungry folks.  Needless to say, there are stashes of food and water in both of the offices in which I see clients.   Yep, my recording studio is now my Covid office for teletherapy appointments.  I hate working from home.  I'd rather work from one of my offices -but- I have crappy internet in the Centennial

  Today I am thankful for the realization that I'm slacking off.  I've been busy cleaning up my life and habitat.  Maybe I'm focusing on the wrong things.  Not ONE of my friends has received the extremist Facebook warning after leaving a comment for me.  I don't get one from any of them.  Crap - I'm upset!   I'm a libertarian,  gun nut,  pagan who worships Ares,  even a hypnotist. I've been told that I'm on a government watch list.  I'm proud of my obnoxiousness.  I even spent yesterday in Wyoming watching fireworks and getting pro-gun bumper stickers, saddle blankets, and all sorts of stuff to remind me of my western upbringing.   I don't feel like an extremist in Cheyenne.  I'm only an extremist in Denver.  Do you know why?  The definition of extremist has been morphed.  It now means 'any person who disagrees with the majority group in power.'  Since communist-type liberals have taken over the capitol in Colorado,  I'm an extrem

  (one of my favorite bass lines)  Today I'm thankful that I have my very first Friday night free in many years.  I chose to spend it with my first love - bass guitars..  Someone stepped on my Arcadia CD.  My kids must have gotten sick of listening to it.  I had nothing to listen to (without YouTube Ads).  I wore out that cassette years ago.   I resemble Lady Ice.  Maybe I wasn't always that way..... Man -  I had to dig out my old music I listened to an old '80s mixtape.  There was a lot of Jeffrey Osborne on it, some Luther Vandross, a bit of Klymaxx, Alexander O'Neal, Chaka Khan, and Rufus, Freddie Jackson, Prince....sigh..... Oh my..... no wonder I scared off the 80's boyfriend.  I probably scorched the poor guy.  Maybe that's what the nightmares are about....guilt over being a pervert and condemning a nice Christian boy to his nightmarish version of the underworld in the afterlife.   I don't know.  If I knew, the nightmares would stop.  ***** As a single

Today I am thankful for the positive changes in my life  and understanding that what hasn't been positive was just a lesson.  I love my job.   The only issue is finding myself fighting imposter syndrome. I have spent the past two and a half years working as a milieu counselor who was constantly told to be quiet, speak little, counsel but do no counseling.  In the end, I was chided constantly because rumor had it that whenever I spoke to people, I covertly hypnotized them.  I did a bi-weekly meditation. This was possibly the closest thing to hypnosis I've done working in a drug and alcohol counseling hospital.  I made sure to eradicate any usage of NLP or Ericksonian Language Patterns during my employment at this facility.  It all started when my former boss found out I was getting licensed as a counselor.  I think she had a couple of former colleagues run around to dig up dirt on me.  Getting called into her office with gossip on a daily basis got old, so I left.  The gossip di