Today I am thankful that a blast from the past ex-boyfriend is no longer dying in my dreams.
Nope -
this is a good thing.
For the past week or so,
I've been dreaming that I get impaled in my car and die when first responders dry to get me out.
To be sure,
that is a far better thing to dream about than another human being dying.
Funny thing, in the dreams, I'm wasting my last breath screaming at the other driver for being a moron.
Wow....road raging until the day I die.
Boy - my dream self sure likes to lay the guilt thick, doesn't she?
Oooh.....
Well, at least I'm not cursing the poor soul.
*****
The dreams are possibly indicative of my anxiety about teaching three kids how to drive.
They've inspired me to control what I can control.
I wear my seatbelt now.
Just in case -
I'll wear clean underwear
(although I'm not sure it'll matter if I scare myself),
bring my driver's license with me
(so the paramedics can identify my body because I think that's why driver's license photos are made to look so bad - so paramedics know what we look like after we kick the bucket),
keep my phone next to me for any final goodbyes
(and give my loved ones stuff to talk about in therapy so a colleague can make some money),
and
look presentable when I go out so the undertaker will know what I look like-,
(so they know people are used to me in makeup that doesn't match my skin).
Just teasing.
Love ya,
S.
If these by chance are premonitions -
I want my basses to go to my buddy Sean -
or maybe my niece (she's a great bass player),
or my old friend Galan.
Hell, they can each pick one.
The guitars can go to my granddaughter.
Don't know any other sax players, though - hmmm.....maybe I best fix 'em up so they can go to a public school in good working order. I should always keep the pads in good order anyway.
Who cares about my house and all that equity? Someone could buy a heck of a lot of guitars with all that equity.
The sale of my car could fund a set of strings. That sucker is older than my kiddos but it still runs like a champ.
It's funny what I value compared to what my kids will value.
Guess, I should put together a will, eh?
I'm a geezette. I guess it's time for a will anyway.
We never know when our last day will be.
Hugs.