Warped Gratitude Blog

Today I am thankful for finally seeing the truth.  Even though a former professor told me my ex was stalking me back in 2004.... even though an Aurora cop told me the same thing in 2012..... part of me has always held out hope that we were wrong. We are not. I found the definitive proof today. As you know, over the past 27 years and seven months, I have dealt with break-ins. My ex always blamed his sister. She allegedly died in 2015. The break-ins continued.  After her death, I became incredibly fearful because it didn't stop. Locks were consistently broken. I couldn't figure it out. My ex claimed it was his family. In 2013, he told me that he sent his sister a key and told her to come to the house any time.  Then he said he was kidding. I was terrified.  He didn't seem to want to solve the problem - he didn't do therapy.  He didn't want to move. Locks continued to be broken until I could afford to take him back to court to get him...

Today I am thankful for being old. The recent political hijinks at the office with the liberal therapist has me reflecting on politics and why I'm so mad. She allegedly yelled at a patient because he was watching the news.  Trump happened to be on the news. I will never understand someone letting their hate towards a politician impact them at work. No one is perfect -  but therapists should, at the very least, know enough to treat people with respect.  We should model respect for each other. The errant therapist ran into me with her head down.  She said hello but I could tell she was angry (possibly at me).  You know what?  Despite my disgust, I feel sorry for her. I was informed of her antics by two upset patients.  That makes me feel sad for everyone involved. I am well aware that advocating for the patients will probably get me in trouble.  I could lose that particular job because I passed on the information to the powers that be....

Today I am thankful that my ex's behavior confirms his NPD diagnosis. My stalkerish ex was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder in 2012. Personally, I have had a very hard time believing it.  I even met with a psychiatrist buddy to discuss how stress (e.g. PTSD) can bring about narcissistic symptoms in people. Of course, my ex-husband stalked this shrink and I at the coffee shop. Even then, I had a very hard time believing it. I have often wondered what stress could have caused him to turn into a domestic abuser. He didn't start yelling until after our wedding in 1996.  That was when his family amped up their stalking and, in a couple of cases, physical violence. It was 1997 when they started impacting my jobs and schooling with their harassment. Deep down inside, I wanted to believe that his family was acting on their own without influence from my ex. Turns out - he was behind everything.  He'd lie to them and blame me for him not acting at ...

Today I am, yet again, thankful for documentation. I've had a couple of issues with my infrared camera system shutting itself off and on at night. Most of the time when it shuts itself off, I get a notification. I did not get a notification on Friday. My ex visited the house to pick up the girls on Friday. The girls claim that he rang the doorbell. There is NO video from any of the three cameras in my front yard of my house. There is NO video of any of them returning - the girls, their father - NOTHING. I usually get footage of bees several few times a day.  I didn't get one that evening. The videos strangely stop between 1523 and 23:30 that night when the eldest came home from a date. I'm just documenting this as I'm unsure what to make of it. All it does is cement in my mind that my ex was involved in the stalking and harassment. On the bright side, it would appear my ex is more technologically savvy that previously thought. My questions are ...

Never thought I'd say this -but- today I am thankful for DORA (Colorado's Regulatory Dept). I work in the mental health industry. I tire of hearing stories of conservatives harassed by leftist therapists. I am literally shocked at the sheer numbers of therapists and teachers who harass conservatives. These professionals typically go after strangers and coworkers. Today, I learned that a therapist allegedly went ballistic on a patient she thinks likes Donald Trump. I am livid. I'm no Trumpette.  I think Hillary should be wearing orange. I'm an equal opportunity hater and a porcupine at heart. I'm hoping the patient reports the therapist to the regulatory board for investigation.  Make no mistake, this event is not without damage.  It is a breech of trust and safety.  How can any therapist get a client to talk if he or she does not approach professional practice with unconditional positive regard? People are to be respected. All voices deserve ...

Yet again, today, I am thankful for documentation. This will be short and sweet.  I hope. I have absolutely no idea what is going on. One of my camera systems has ceased to function.  It no longer records video, it only records audio now. The other wifi camera system has gone offline twice now. It went offline within the same 24 hour period. This is the night vision camera system. About 1730 on Wednesday, it went offline for ten minutes.   That night, about 2000, my daughter texted me that she saw an orange light shining in the living room window. She went outside to investigate and saw that it emanated from a planter outside the house.  I actually have footage of her walking towards a bright light in the planter.  She touches the dirt and the light fades a bit but it is still there. Shortly afterwards, I see her walking towards the front door. She had two friends with her. Twenty-three minutes later, the camera system goes offline again....

Today I am thankful for my four security cameras. I think I found out how the visual footage is hard to see at times. When I come home in the dark, I can see my face, my car and even my license plate in the front security cameras. When the neighborhood cat comes to call in the wee hours of the morning, I can see him with the back yard cameras - but, last night I couldn't see the person who stood breathing in my front yard. All I could see were two lights. This happened twice; once at 0036 (again) and 0536. I suspect whoever is doing this has OCD...I mean, the times are eerily similar. I saved the footage. I'm an artist, so I'll take it to the various video editing programs I have to see if I can get an outline of the person's face. At least my former life as a YouTube content creator has taught me a few life hacks! This is Wednesday. My ex's family always had a penchant for harassing me on Wednesdays (especially in the wee hours of the mornin...

Today I am thankful that we have four security cameras trained on the front yard. This evening, my ex stopped by for his visit with the kids. It's a little sad.  He's gained some more weight and lost his hair.  He walks with a slight limp. He knocked on the door, looked up and stepped back. I watched the footage in real-time. The youngest came out of the house and my ex's hand pointed upwards while he asked, "Can you see me with that camera?" She responded, "Yes.", while looking into the camera. Yes, I can see you.  I can see anyone that comes to the door. I saw the bald guy who messed around the ladder leading to the roof on Wednesday.  I'm not sure who he is but he looks a heck of a lot like the guy who nearly hit me head on in the street while pretending to be with Ameriprise Insurance .  Ameriprise investigated the incident and told me to call the cops.  To this day, I can't fathom why anyone thinks my ex owns my home. Not...

Today I am thankful for having four video cameras and two security systems.  They pick up the darndest things.... One of my security systems pipes movement in my yard to my phone at work. This morning, around 9:30, there streamed an image of my gun-toting neighbor putting his cell phone on my porch and walking away. He comes back three minutes later to retrieve it. I watched this unfold live from the office. My colleagues said that it was strange. My co-workers told me to be careful. My daughter freaked out upon seeing the footage. I'm feeling lost.... what harm can a four minute recording do? I'll call my PAR officer tomorrow. This was the last thing I expected to see. I have another camera that records the entire front yard to a 38GB storage card.  I'll pull that in the morning to see what in the world this guy finds interesting. One of the renters had a house guest who parked in front of my house on Monday.  He was so afraid of upsetting the...