Today I am thankful for a new lesson: I can't have dogs without an epi-pen.
The other day, I had a job interview. The job would be an immediate pay cut -but- the experience is exactly what I need if I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor.
I've seen too many people die of an opioid overdose in the past eighteen months.
To be incredibly open about it, the only reason I haven't worked in the field is that I don't like the government. I don't trust the government. I have a very hard time working in a field where most of the funding comes from the government.
I found the perfect company. It's private pay only.
If I'm hired, my boss would be a libertarian.
It's exciting -but-
I'm still in school and can't be as flexible as it appears they'd need me to be to suit their business.
I really need more experience with heroin addicts.
So, I haven't decided if I want to pursue the job as a recovery coach.
It gets even better....
the facility is a block away from my office!
Sigh.....
*****
I've sworn off men. I have to tell myself lies to keep myself from dating.
I tell myself that I'm gross, overweight and ugly.
My self-talk is even worse than that. I know the reason I do that is because I don't want to get caught up in another relationship with someone who either lies about me or stalks me.
I'll probably check in with a doctor about that because it's not healthy to make up crap about your body that your doctors disagree with.
I am incredibly embarrassed by my appearance.
It's very rare that I meet anyone that I am even remotely interested in.
When I do that, I have to make up crap about looking like a dude or having non-working parts or something just to keep my head down.
On Saturday, when I had that rare spark of interest, I decided I was going to adopt a dog.
I went to the pound.
They had numerous dogs that resembled my spirit animal.
I'm small, golden haired and bark at the slightest thing out of place. If you piss me off, I'll bite your ankles off.
I've always thought that Chihuahuas were my spirit animal. Sadly, I'm highly allergic to them.
They didn't have many dogs up for adoption, most of the dogs there were for court cases, so I drove the hypnomobile to Westminster which is about forty minutes away.
I drive like an old lady so it is about an hour away.
Apparently, the city has to rent out space from a pet shop in a town 20 miles away due to the stupid pit bull ban. Having this space will allow them to find homes for the pit bulls without killing them.
Now, I'm not a fan of the woman who runs the shelter -but- I have to say I respect her for this. Since she's run the shelter, I haven't seen blood all over the brick walls from the dogs wagging their tails.
I'm still not happy about the German Shepherd they tried to put down because they mistook it for a wolf -or- the picture of the pile of dead pit bulls when the ban went into effect (she wasn't there for the second item).
I guess this is a creative way to make lemonade out of the lemons the idiotic city council (and the voters who supported them) gave her. In this probably healthier than what some of us may have done.
The tide is turning.
I foresee the pit bull ban will be lifted within the next year or so.
******
At the Westminster shelter, I fell in love with a male poodle named Prancer. I played with him and he licked me. I didn't get hives.
It literally met a guy and found myself wondering if he were the one!
I was sure I was going to take him home.
I took videos and arranged for my daughter to come see him.
Then....I started to have trouble breathing.
It wasn't too bad...at least not at first.
The weirdest part was the woman that runs the shelter showed up.
I left determined to come back the next day.
I perused the store looking for doggo supplies.
What other bed could a dog have in a houseful of nerds? 
I love this chew toy but, alas, they're out of stock.
That was funny.
I didn't think she knew who I was.
Perhaps she did - few people are as freakishly looking as I am.
Sigh.....
I went home with the videos of the dog to share with the eldest.
On the ride home, one of the kid's eyes turned beet red. I had to pull over because I began having trouble breathing.
I started to have pain in my neck and left ear. I'm still having it....three days later!
I called a doctor and was told that there is really no way of knowing if the pup I wanted caused the allergic reaction or if it were the dander of the other dogs. She suggested that I only adopt from shelters that specialize in poodles so that I know for sure that I'm not allergic to the dog.
The biggest nightmare would be to adopt a dog and have to surrender him to the shelter.
Sigh....
I hope they don't kill the pup if he doesn't find a home right away.
******
I may just hire a therapist to review the reasons I fear getting intimate with men. In my world, I know therapists of just about any specialty.
At first, I thought I needed a cosmetic surgeon.
Maybe I don't.
Maybe I just need to realize that at my age, no one expects physical perfection.
If I can jump into another Ph.D. program, I'll be too busy to worry about it.
I'm eyeing two schools; both require residency in California.
*****
I've uncovered something politically creepy about the issue with my ex. If you remember, the State of Colorado paid for three lawyers to drop his child support.
They weren't interested in the truth. They literally lied to me to get me to agree to drop it.
They claimed he was in a 27-month drug and alcohol rehab program that would forbid him from working. My ex-swears up and down that this isn't the truth (after I signed a statement agreeing to gut his support and sent it to the court).
My ex won't comply with the court orders to tell me where he lives or works. He's playing games with visitation. I'm not sure if I should waste money I don't have to take him back to court to try to revisit child support and rework the visitation schedule to something he can live with or just let it go.
He's not seeing the kids now. He's not calling them. I fear that if this doesn't change soon, he will irreparably harm the relationships he has with them.
I can't keep throwing thousands of dollars at lawyers when he doesn't cooperate.
This is maddening.
I don't know if he's a drug addict or not. That makes it hard for me to want to help him with anything any more.
I've learned that the National Fatherhood Initiative* is one of many pork projects that are paying for the lawyers of deadbeat dads. It is paying for housing, food, legal fees, job training, education and other things for fathers (not mothers) without regard to income.
If a mother wants TANF or SNAP she's interrogated and put on time limits. There are NO funds to help battered women with a divorce or child support issues.
The National Fatherhood Initiative will even pick up the legal fees for custody issues for fathers (regardless of criminal background). This is why violent felons are ending up with custody, 70% of the time!
It's disgusting. I always thought my ex used government funds to take me to court just because it was offensive to my sensibilities as a libertarian - but now, I know that the patriarchy is alive and well within the government.
Now, I know which battleships* must be shot out of the water.
Sigh.....
It goes much deeper than Colorado.
I have bigger fish to fry than a crazy chick who is going to wrinkle by glaring at me in a pet shop. I hope she's successful in saving the majority of the dogs.
As disgusted as I am with her defending the indefensible actions of her underlings, I have mad respect for some of the things she has done. Her predecessor was a hot mess. At least I can say some good things about this woman.
Now, if only she can train her employees better.
Luckily for several people, I still cannot speak due to my sore throat. Breathing is tough. I'll see if I can carve out time to visit a doctor tomorrow.
******
The allergies suck. We have a pear tree that is finally bearing fruit.
The sad thing? We are all allergic to pears!!
When we planted the tree, we didn't think it would be an issue. For me, I thought pears were supposed to make your mouth tingle.
Nope.....
I need to find someone who can tell me how to figure out when the food is ripe and if there is a pantry that will want the pears.
They are completely organic!
It is a huge harvest. Large harvests typically mean horrible winters. Make sure you have good snow tires this year.
Sigh....
Love ya,
S.