Warped Gratitude Blog

Today I am thankful for the wisdom of a police officer.  I called her in 2012,  after the election, concerned about the stalking.  I told her as much as I could; the office break-ins, my billing clerk being hassled, my being watched during meetings and lunches by people I didn't know who resembled my ex, the phone calls.... I didn't get through it all - she interrupted me with "I know who your stalker is." "It is your husband." She wanted me to stop talking about it.  She is with the local police department and in talking to other officers she specializes in domestic violence. She doesn't return calls.  The officers don't take reports. She left me with one tidbit that still sticks out - "when something feels wrong, pay attention." The energy doesn't just feel wrong.  The warning signals aren't just buzzing. They're blaring. I'm going to record it in the hopes that I'm just paranoid. I don't

Today I am thankful that I work with nurses.  A few weeks ago, my ex-husband stated that he didn't want to cooperate with the divorce decree by sharing information because he claimed I would use the information to stalk him. I responded by saying that stalking is time intensive.  Between my job, trying to reboot my small business and going back and retaking my post-graduate classes, I don't even have time to pee let alone harass anyone. I'm trying to make time to share videos of lawbreaking police officers with their department heads. There are more important people to harass. Well... here is my lesson of the week: Always take time to pee.  Oh, and lay off of the soda.  So..... Over the past week, I thought I'd hit menopause early because I really wasn't feeling well. I started feeling feverish and I'd break out into a cold sweat.  I thought they were hot flashes. My lower back hurt.  That comes with being old, right? My girl

Today I am thankful for my crazy habit of writing down my dreams.  Over the past few weeks, I've been cleaning out the house to prepare for an upcoming remodel. I've whined so much about the break-ins, that I'm getting security doors and windows. The problem with cleaning out clutter is that one can unearth things that were long forgotten -or buried- -or lost. I found an old dream diary I kept over a decade ago.  In it I recorded nightmares about an old friend from high school. The dreams were horrific. They showed bodily injuries via accidents, domestic assaults, and one dream even had him on fire, being shot with hundreds of flaming Cupid's arrows while being pecked to death by hawks. The worst parts of that dream were the black dogs that were biting me so I couldn't smother the flames out. If one is in pain, I'd do my best to help. I'm thinking that last dream probably embodies what happens to any poor man who gets too close to

When I had my first break-up, I played this cassette over and over daily until it wore out.  Then I bought the album.  I had always intended to learn how to play this song on my own but, somehow, I never did. Today I am thankful for reflection. There is a realization that too much reflection with too few facts can lead to a negative emotional state. Since I found my dream diary and that note that I thought was long gone, I've been sad. I finished reading the entire dream diary last night. Sigh.... The last entry was from 2009.  In this dream, my old friend talks about alcoholism being a slow suicide. I don't know why that made me sad. I don't know him to indulge in drink.  Really....our relationship was too innocent for us to see that sort of thing in each other. I don't know if that was my fear for him - or - if those dreams reflected the drug and alcohol certification classes I'd just finished at the time the dream occurred. In fact, I'm r

If I am with someone long gone, it will only be in spirit.  After the stalking I endured, I am terribly afraid to reach out to people for fear of sparking problems for them no matter how many nightmares I have about them.   Today I am thankful for lessons of faith. This week was incredibly interesting. I'll begin by discussing my faith. I light a candle every day..... Saturday to Saturn ....sometimes to Oshun (African love Goddess) Sunday to the Gods of the Sun : Apollo and his son Asclepsius Monday to the moon Goddesses : Artemis/Diana and Isis  - sometimes Lilith Tuesday to the God of War : Ares/Mars Wednesdays to the God of Communication and Travel : Hermes/Mercury Thursdays to the Gods/Goddesses of Success: typically Pheme /Fama Fridays to the Gods/Goddesses of Passion (love and otherwise) : always to Dionysus and Aphrodite...sometimes Eros/Cupid I'm always burning candles and incense. If there is ever a power outage, come over to my house. I'l

Movies are a good barometer of cultural opinion.  The line that signifies the distrust many people feel towards law enforcement is " If I lie, you lie....we're cops.  We stick together....we have honor."   This is playing out in Colorado right now (as I'm sure it plays out across the nation).   Disgusting.  Today I am thankful for art therapy.  Now, I just need to find a priest to talk to. Some idiotic public servants curse women by calling them Bitches. Some witches curse idiotic public servants in different ways. I hate profanity. There are more effective ways of scaring someone. ***** I don't buy in to that whole Romans chapter in the Bible being the word of God.  I always thought that government officials threatened religious leaders into putting that in the Bible to control the herd. I betcha it was the Romans. Hence the name of the chapter. Yeah....I don't tend to bend and sway to the desires of government. I trust my G