Today I am thankful for Caller ID and Google.
Long story short....
My ex's cousins have been calling me.
They don't leave messages.
They just hang up.
I Google the numbers of the hang up calls I get.
They belong to his cousins.
I don't want to answer.
They are calling a number that I don't share with many people. Only a handful of people know it.
One of my former boyfriends has it in case he or his lovely lady need a kidney. With all the pain meds I'm poppin', that kidney may have to stay where it is. I need to stop taking NSAIDS like candy, lest I need to go on dialysis in the future.
My sister, aunts and an uncle have the number.
I don't advertise it. I keep it to myself. I advertise VOIP numbers that I have forwarded to this number so I can keep location secure.
In the past, my ex's relatives would call my land line and hang up. The cops explained to me that they did this to gauge if I were home. If I answered, nothing would happen. If I failed to answer, I would find one of them breaking into my home minutes later.
This is why I NEVER answer my land line. I still have it. I just never answer it.
This could be why they're calling my cell phone. I let my guard down when I heard that my ex was in rehab.
I bought a new phone to help with the job hunt.
I turned on my GPS so I could find my way to job interviews easily.
I attached my phone to my Google account - the one that kept getting hacked.
That was a mistake.
My GPS is off now.
I've changed all my passwords and added two-party authentication to my accounts.
I'm a little nervous.
I don't know why they are calling me. I don't know how they got my number.
It's nothing that I can't handle.
I just wanted to document this somewhere.
It's a little weird.
Every time I get hang up calls from my ex's relatives, the shit starts to hit the fan.
If I turn up blue, it is most likely my ex or his family that sent me to my maker.
******
It would be nice if I could talk to my in-laws without fear of being stalked or beat up.
I would tell them that my ex claims to be homeless and is in need of help.
Then again, that could be the reason for the calls.
In the past, he'd lie to them and they'd attack me on his behalf.
I don't know.
I wish I understood what was going on.
I don't.
******
I know my ex is angry at me.
He recently expressed his anger at my taking him to court to force him to vacate my home. This was more than three years after he agreed to move out during our divorce.
I didn't want the house. He gave it to me and wouldn't listen to me. The mediator thought that my ex wanted me to stay in this house so he could continue to stalk me.
It was high time for him to leave - 39 months after he was supposed to leave.
Besides, he was mooching off of me. I gave him my vehicle. I paid for his auto insurance. I gave him money to drive to his business meetings.
I make about 50% of what he made. I can't afford to give all of my discretionary income to my ex, especially when he wasn't helping out financially or with the chores. In the end, he didn't even want to tote the kids to and from school.
I understand he's angry because I stood up for myself.
People who feel entitled to your time and energy typically get angry when you start to assert boundaries to protect yourself.
I need to protect myself.
I'm staring to feel afraid again.
******
I don't really have the time to be angry.
I'm working a very erratic schedule. It's enough to make me consider switching jobs before the end of the insurance enrollment season.
I'm so busy selling insurance that I had to put my hypnosis practice on hold. One career makes up for the child support I never receive. The other career feeds my soul.
It's probably my fault. I asked for a job that paid me what I used to make. This job has a lot of mandatory overtime, so I may just come close to making what I used to make by the time December 7th comes around.
We'll see.
They only pay $1 in commission for each health insurance enrollment - isn't that cute?
I used to easily make $1,000 a month in commissions.
I'm not going to complain.
It's a job.
I'm lucky to have a job (especially with this face).
I only have to work an hour tomorrow.
I probably should take this time to heal my face from the injuries I sustained two weeks ago when glass shattered on my face.
I will wind up with four scars.
The two scars extending from my left eye form a little mask.
With all the cuts on my face, I look a little bit like my tabby cat.
There are two on my chin.
I find myself wondering if Botox can fluff them out?
It still hurts to touch my skin. Sometimes my eyes get so swollen from the scar cream that I cannot see.
Vanity hurts.
We'll see where I end up.
It's not so bad to get cut up when you're my age. My skin is older. Most people my age have wrinkles. Two of the cuts look like they could be wrinkles.
If this would have happened when I was twenty, I probably would have been very depressed about it.
May you see the beauty of you at every stage of your life.
May you find solutions to all of your problems swiftly and easily.
Stay safe out there.
Love ya,
S.