Today I am thankful that I'll only work nine hours tomorrow.
Word has gotten out that I'm looking for a permanent job. In response, my boss is scheduling me for ten hour days Monday through Friday. He's also pushing to get me to come in on Saturday and Sunday.
YIKES.
I dislike this job. I love my customers. I love helping older people find options for their health care coverage.
In the past I helped them connect with Medicaid, Medicare and Extra Help. I would often help them find Special Needs Plans.
In this job.....
it's high pressure sales.
You just can't do that with this particular population.
Senior citizens have seen it all.
They've heard it all.
If they, by chance, have forgotten any of it - they need protected.
Seriously....we have to look out for their best interests.
So...I get in trouble.
An elderly woman saw a commercial for the line I am authorized to sell and was confused. She thought she would lose her Medicare if she didn't call the number on the commercial. She called and I answered.
She was worried about losing her doctors. She said she loved her doctors. It turns out she spent her entire life with the same insurance company in California. This HMO has a closed network. She wanted to know what she had to do to stay in her plan.
I told her to grab her insurance card and look on the back. She did. I instructed her to call the member services number on the back before 8:00 p.m. to ask what she had to do to keep her plan next year. She wrote down the question.
I know the plan she's on like the back of my hand. I sold Medicare plans for that carrier for two years. I can still rattle off the number to member services.
Sigh......
Rather than be honest with her, I'm supposed to sell people like her an expensive plan. The plans I sell now would not work with the doctors who are captive to the network she currently uses.
That's unethical!
So....yeah....I need a new job.
That said, I do not work directly for the line I sell. I used to work for them before they laid off their entire call center staff in Denver. They are incredibly ethical which is why I took the temporary job. I like the company I sell for. The problem is that I am now working for a contractor who is pushing the sales in an unethical manner.
In between this job, the educational requirements to keep my licenses and being a single mom - I'm sleeping about three hours a night.
My hypnosis practice is on hold. If I can't get my financial crap together, I may have to stop offering my services. My lease will end in January.
I'm thinking about closing up shop.
My face isn't healing. My eyes are still swollen. The cuts are still red and bumpy.
I don't know what to do.
Sleeping pills don't help.
The worst part is trying to get my kiddos to their doctor's appointments when I'm not allowed to take time off of work.
That's going to be some party trick.
If I can figure out how to make everyone happy, I'll share.
*******
I keep getting correspondence from a Colorado unit tasked with coddling deadbeat dads. I'm quoting an acquaintance when I say coddling.
These are the same people that promised to help me find a job if I cooperated with them. Now, they want to help my ex cut his child support payments by more than 50% and make me responsible for everything else (health insurance, medical expenses and so on and so forth).
They also wrote something to the court complaining about my supporting our 19 year old daughter through school.
Yeah - maybe I'll share my story with my acquaintance when it's over.
They keep referring to the child support lowering case as The People of Colorado -vs- [Siegfred's Real Name].
Yeah, like the taxpayers of Colorado want the government to sue me into poverty.
Do they want single moms on welfare?
It's bad enough that the kids are on Medicaid.
That's a Libertarian sin.
Don't force me on SNAP or TANF.
Make parents own up to their responsibilities....both of them!
Besides....I haven't done anything wrong. The name of the case disturbs me. It makes it sound like I'm an axe murderer or something.
All I did was fail to roll over and abate child support for my ex.
I'm just trying to help the kids. I could help them more if I could afford to get them tutoring, field trips, braces and the things that teenagers need (clothes, shoes, reeds for wind instruments, books for school and so on and so forth).
I don't receive child support. I never have. I'm supposed to receive it.
I gave my ex my car, paid his insurance and gave him money to go on his "business trips" for years after our divorce was final. I did this because he promised it would help him stay employed and keep up with his child support obligation.
He's never paid.
When I start to get away from him or seek help financially....he loses his jobs....without fail.
It's not my fault he isn't working.
I've done everything in my power to be helpful.
When the stalking and yelling got bad, he needed to go. He told me that since he keeps losing his jobs, he expected me to support him for four years.
Four years!!
If I told him about a job, he'd tell me to "F*ck Off." It's to the point that when people looking for accountants reach out to me, I don't tell my ex anymore.
It's a shame. Someone called here the other day with an offer for him. I don't want to get yelled at again. I'm torn between emailing him and opening myself to another barrage of hate mail or staying silent knowing that my ex will get out of helping his kids because he won't try to look for a job.
I'm thinking this irresponsible avoidance of life is a game to this guy.
These State officials are playing on his team with our tax dollars. I'm a tad bit disgusted.
When I called to ask what was going on, they told me they wouldn't talk to me unless I hired an attorney. They took information from me. When they got what they wanted, they told me I needed a lawyer.
I had to put the legal fees on credit. That is something I shouldn't have to do as a single mother.
The taxpayers are paying for them to act as his attorney. This state office has three attorneys helping him abate his child support.
Three lawyers!!
I'm not a criminal. We'll see who ends up in jail. I'm not the one with the contempt action under my belt.
I'm beginning to regret asking the judge to keep him out of jail during the last contempt hearing.
Here's the problem....
My ex made $50,000 a year. He's an accountant.
Now, he's being told that he's only worth $12 an hour by the State of Colorado.
What will that do to him?
He's upset with me. He's sending me messages saying that he doesn't care his kids. He is depressed. He's worthless. He doesn't care about life.
He's either trying to manipulate me -or- someone has told him he's worth nothing more than $12 an hour.
Why in the heck would the state agree?
The other question I have ....
well....
Why would the State of Colorado put a deadbeat dad into a program that forbids him from working for a period ranging from three to 3 - 27 months?
That's enough time to get him put in jail.
Even if his child support is dropped to $100 a month. If he's a year behind, it's a felony.
Besides, I thought their primary mission was to connect kids to their non-custodial parents? Putting him in a rehab center where he's not allowed to contact them for months at a time is not helping the parent child relationship.
What in the world are they doing?
Maybe the organization isn't clear on their values.
I don't know.
I'll never understand.
Manipulative people always seem to win.
I can't waste time and money trying to fix lazy liars. I've got to figure out how to support the kids on my own.
People go to crazy lengths to get back at the people they're angry at.
Some will go to the point of voluntary impoverishment to get sympathy.
My ex is angry at me.
He's always been angry at me.
I wish I knew why.
******
All I know is that I need to find a way to triple my income in order to make up for the money he'll never send me.
I have no clue where to start.
Here is a thought:
Rewarding deadbeat dads for being irresponsible isn't going to help him or his kiddos. I don't know what you consider a deadbeat dad to be, so I'll define what I think a deadbeat dad is. A father who doesn't bother with visitation is a deadbeat. I can understand not paying child support when out of work. I cannot understand a failure to even try to be there for the kiddos.
As far as the State of Colorado, they'd be best served to help the responsible custodial parents get jobs (like they promised me back in July). I can understand helping someone who tries to send something to the kids every month.
I think $25 would be cool. I've never seen a dime.
An accountant with a college degree is NOT what I would consider an impoverished dad. A dad working at McDonalds (or even in the call center I work at) could be an impoverished dad. All of the impoverished men (and women) I work with who make $12-$15 an hour have to be current on their child support because they are licensed as insurance agents in 37 states. They are doing what they are supposed to do.
Someone making $25 or more an hour....no, that is not an impoverished dad. Unless....he had a stroke, heart surgery, or lost a foot to diabetes. If so, one would hope he would have told me that so I could have looked at the situation differently.
Is he on SSI disability?
He's not.
Absent a real emergency, this is a game. Trust me, this isn't the first game since our divorce.
I remember a time he wouldn't move out of my home because he was going to get bariatric surgery. It never happened.
I asked him to move out and he fell out of the back of a semi. I had to nurse him through a surgery.
Every time I asked him to move out, there would be another crisis.
This is just another one of those crisis. Sadly, he has what appears to be the backing of the State of Colorado to engage in the games.
I've probably lost just by association.
A true winner doesn't worry about battles - she worries about wars.
My war is with tax dollar waste.
I'm seeing quite a bit of taxpayer waste here:
1. Support a deadbeat dad by paying his legal fees and providing three lawyers to him so that he can lower child support and make the custodial mother responsible for all costs of healthcare and insurance,
2. Put him in a program which forbids him from working or seeing his kids for a period of up to 27 months which puts the taxpayers at risk of having to pay for his three squares and a room in the prison system,
3. Force a woman and her kids on welfare and Medicaid/CHP+
-and-
4. Impoverish the family so much that the college aged student has to survive by utilizing government grants.
Don't you see? This is adding up for my fellow Coloradoans.
They'll think they're right. I understand suspending or abating it temporarily while someone is unemployed. Don't lower it permanently.
You know something, I'm probably wrong because I'm honest.
Manipulative people tend to get what they want.
In fact, that used to be his mantra.
He would say "Mikey gets what he wants."
Sad....eh?
******
I have no clue what to do.
I know this is happening to me because, in the future, I'll probably have to face funding for this organization on some level.
In fact, I have frenemies who are either County Commissioners or running for the seats. I would run for office this year....but....I need to work hideous hours now.
I should mention this to them.
I've hinted at it.
I've NEVER told them which county agency was goading me and my ex to be irresponsible towards our children.
I have mentioned that a county agency is asking to drop my ex's responsibility for his kiddos and shaming me for supporting a college student.
I'll wait until this is over so I can show them the entire story.
The Gods put me in these situations for bizarre situations. There is a reason I'm enduring this.
I'll probably wind up doing something about it.
We never know what the future holds.
******
I'm writing to let you know I'm still alive.
I'm still getting hang up calls.
There are many numbers I cannot trace.
One number turned out to be a bill collector for my ex-husband. They're calling my hypnosis business line.
This is getting exhausting.
I have to pay some of his bills because they involve the kids (charges that were incurred when they were on his insurance plan).
There are some things I will not pay for (his hand surgery, drugs and so on).
I learned my lesson when he wouldn't pull the auto insurance policy and they deducted his insurance premiums from my checking account for months after he left this house. I paid that after I was laid off from my job.
I told Ameriprise not to renew the plan since my ex wouldn't tell them he moved.
Do you know what is funny?
The judge wanted him to pay alimony!
My ex didn't cooperate in mediation so I gave up.
That's partly why I say it is a game.
He wins by ignoring stuff.
He will ignore this.
The state has incredible pull. If they behave as his attorneys, the kids will lose.
*****
This is what manipulation looks like.
People play games.
Employers play games with hours.
Salesmen play games with the truth.
County officials play games to increase their numbers. It's going to be funny when the future reveals how unsuccessful this program truly is.
Honest people don't get help from this program.
Manipulative deadbeats do.
It's sad.
I have other lessons.
Single mothers wrinkle due to a lack of sleep. I think I'm getting a bronchial infection and a rash.
When you're tired, you get sick easily and don't heal.
I have a lot of lessons.
I know the kids and I are going to get skewered by the State of Colorado and my ex in court.
That's my fault.
Yeah....on a metaphysical level I believe I brought this on myself.
I complained about being celibate for well over a decade.
Maybe my ex thought it would be fun to gang screw me in court.
Even if I tried to sleep, I'd stay awake worrying about it.
The funny thing is....just watch....they'll bring up my blog in court thinking it'll shame me into conceding child support to help my ex get a real job.
Sure, it'll help him......once he gets it lowered to nothing, he'll go back to work as an accountant and tell me he's still poor.
If I give up the funds, the kids will never get it back. They'll be impoverished and miss out on the things that can help them start adulthood on the right track.
I'm thinking the State of Colorado has its priorities mixed up.
They're lucky I'm too busy playing mommy and daddy to run around campaigning right now.
Love ya lots,
S.
Word has gotten out that I'm looking for a permanent job. In response, my boss is scheduling me for ten hour days Monday through Friday. He's also pushing to get me to come in on Saturday and Sunday.
YIKES.
I dislike this job. I love my customers. I love helping older people find options for their health care coverage.
In the past I helped them connect with Medicaid, Medicare and Extra Help. I would often help them find Special Needs Plans.
In this job.....
it's high pressure sales.
You just can't do that with this particular population.
Senior citizens have seen it all.
They've heard it all.
If they, by chance, have forgotten any of it - they need protected.
Seriously....we have to look out for their best interests.
So...I get in trouble.
An elderly woman saw a commercial for the line I am authorized to sell and was confused. She thought she would lose her Medicare if she didn't call the number on the commercial. She called and I answered.
She was worried about losing her doctors. She said she loved her doctors. It turns out she spent her entire life with the same insurance company in California. This HMO has a closed network. She wanted to know what she had to do to stay in her plan.
I told her to grab her insurance card and look on the back. She did. I instructed her to call the member services number on the back before 8:00 p.m. to ask what she had to do to keep her plan next year. She wrote down the question.
I know the plan she's on like the back of my hand. I sold Medicare plans for that carrier for two years. I can still rattle off the number to member services.
Sigh......
Rather than be honest with her, I'm supposed to sell people like her an expensive plan. The plans I sell now would not work with the doctors who are captive to the network she currently uses.
That's unethical!
So....yeah....I need a new job.
That said, I do not work directly for the line I sell. I used to work for them before they laid off their entire call center staff in Denver. They are incredibly ethical which is why I took the temporary job. I like the company I sell for. The problem is that I am now working for a contractor who is pushing the sales in an unethical manner.
In between this job, the educational requirements to keep my licenses and being a single mom - I'm sleeping about three hours a night.
My hypnosis practice is on hold. If I can't get my financial crap together, I may have to stop offering my services. My lease will end in January.
I'm thinking about closing up shop.
My face isn't healing. My eyes are still swollen. The cuts are still red and bumpy.
I don't know what to do.
Sleeping pills don't help.
The worst part is trying to get my kiddos to their doctor's appointments when I'm not allowed to take time off of work.
That's going to be some party trick.
If I can figure out how to make everyone happy, I'll share.
*******
I keep getting correspondence from a Colorado unit tasked with coddling deadbeat dads. I'm quoting an acquaintance when I say coddling.
These are the same people that promised to help me find a job if I cooperated with them. Now, they want to help my ex cut his child support payments by more than 50% and make me responsible for everything else (health insurance, medical expenses and so on and so forth).
They also wrote something to the court complaining about my supporting our 19 year old daughter through school.
Yeah - maybe I'll share my story with my acquaintance when it's over.
They keep referring to the child support lowering case as The People of Colorado -vs- [Siegfred's Real Name].
Yeah, like the taxpayers of Colorado want the government to sue me into poverty.
Do they want single moms on welfare?
It's bad enough that the kids are on Medicaid.
That's a Libertarian sin.
Don't force me on SNAP or TANF.
Make parents own up to their responsibilities....both of them!
Besides....I haven't done anything wrong. The name of the case disturbs me. It makes it sound like I'm an axe murderer or something.
All I did was fail to roll over and abate child support for my ex.
I'm just trying to help the kids. I could help them more if I could afford to get them tutoring, field trips, braces and the things that teenagers need (clothes, shoes, reeds for wind instruments, books for school and so on and so forth).
I don't receive child support. I never have. I'm supposed to receive it.
I gave my ex my car, paid his insurance and gave him money to go on his "business trips" for years after our divorce was final. I did this because he promised it would help him stay employed and keep up with his child support obligation.
He's never paid.
When I start to get away from him or seek help financially....he loses his jobs....without fail.
It's not my fault he isn't working.
I've done everything in my power to be helpful.
When the stalking and yelling got bad, he needed to go. He told me that since he keeps losing his jobs, he expected me to support him for four years.
Four years!!
If I told him about a job, he'd tell me to "F*ck Off." It's to the point that when people looking for accountants reach out to me, I don't tell my ex anymore.
It's a shame. Someone called here the other day with an offer for him. I don't want to get yelled at again. I'm torn between emailing him and opening myself to another barrage of hate mail or staying silent knowing that my ex will get out of helping his kids because he won't try to look for a job.
I'm thinking this irresponsible avoidance of life is a game to this guy.
These State officials are playing on his team with our tax dollars. I'm a tad bit disgusted.
When I called to ask what was going on, they told me they wouldn't talk to me unless I hired an attorney. They took information from me. When they got what they wanted, they told me I needed a lawyer.
I had to put the legal fees on credit. That is something I shouldn't have to do as a single mother.
The taxpayers are paying for them to act as his attorney. This state office has three attorneys helping him abate his child support.
Three lawyers!!
I'm not a criminal. We'll see who ends up in jail. I'm not the one with the contempt action under my belt.
I'm beginning to regret asking the judge to keep him out of jail during the last contempt hearing.
Here's the problem....
My ex made $50,000 a year. He's an accountant.
Now, he's being told that he's only worth $12 an hour by the State of Colorado.
What will that do to him?
He's upset with me. He's sending me messages saying that he doesn't care his kids. He is depressed. He's worthless. He doesn't care about life.
He's either trying to manipulate me -or- someone has told him he's worth nothing more than $12 an hour.
Why in the heck would the state agree?
The other question I have ....
well....
Why would the State of Colorado put a deadbeat dad into a program that forbids him from working for a period ranging from three to 3 - 27 months?
That's enough time to get him put in jail.
Even if his child support is dropped to $100 a month. If he's a year behind, it's a felony.
Besides, I thought their primary mission was to connect kids to their non-custodial parents? Putting him in a rehab center where he's not allowed to contact them for months at a time is not helping the parent child relationship.
What in the world are they doing?
Maybe the organization isn't clear on their values.
I don't know.
I'll never understand.
Manipulative people always seem to win.
I can't waste time and money trying to fix lazy liars. I've got to figure out how to support the kids on my own.
People go to crazy lengths to get back at the people they're angry at.
Some will go to the point of voluntary impoverishment to get sympathy.
My ex is angry at me.
He's always been angry at me.
I wish I knew why.
******
All I know is that I need to find a way to triple my income in order to make up for the money he'll never send me.
I have no clue where to start.
Here is a thought:
Rewarding deadbeat dads for being irresponsible isn't going to help him or his kiddos. I don't know what you consider a deadbeat dad to be, so I'll define what I think a deadbeat dad is. A father who doesn't bother with visitation is a deadbeat. I can understand not paying child support when out of work. I cannot understand a failure to even try to be there for the kiddos.
As far as the State of Colorado, they'd be best served to help the responsible custodial parents get jobs (like they promised me back in July). I can understand helping someone who tries to send something to the kids every month.
I think $25 would be cool. I've never seen a dime.
An accountant with a college degree is NOT what I would consider an impoverished dad. A dad working at McDonalds (or even in the call center I work at) could be an impoverished dad. All of the impoverished men (and women) I work with who make $12-$15 an hour have to be current on their child support because they are licensed as insurance agents in 37 states. They are doing what they are supposed to do.
Someone making $25 or more an hour....no, that is not an impoverished dad. Unless....he had a stroke, heart surgery, or lost a foot to diabetes. If so, one would hope he would have told me that so I could have looked at the situation differently.
Is he on SSI disability?
He's not.
Absent a real emergency, this is a game. Trust me, this isn't the first game since our divorce.
I remember a time he wouldn't move out of my home because he was going to get bariatric surgery. It never happened.
I asked him to move out and he fell out of the back of a semi. I had to nurse him through a surgery.
Every time I asked him to move out, there would be another crisis.
This is just another one of those crisis. Sadly, he has what appears to be the backing of the State of Colorado to engage in the games.
I've probably lost just by association.
A true winner doesn't worry about battles - she worries about wars.
My war is with tax dollar waste.
I'm seeing quite a bit of taxpayer waste here:
1. Support a deadbeat dad by paying his legal fees and providing three lawyers to him so that he can lower child support and make the custodial mother responsible for all costs of healthcare and insurance,
2. Put him in a program which forbids him from working or seeing his kids for a period of up to 27 months which puts the taxpayers at risk of having to pay for his three squares and a room in the prison system,
3. Force a woman and her kids on welfare and Medicaid/CHP+
-and-
4. Impoverish the family so much that the college aged student has to survive by utilizing government grants.
Don't you see? This is adding up for my fellow Coloradoans.
They'll think they're right. I understand suspending or abating it temporarily while someone is unemployed. Don't lower it permanently.
You know something, I'm probably wrong because I'm honest.
Manipulative people tend to get what they want.
In fact, that used to be his mantra.
He would say "Mikey gets what he wants."
Sad....eh?
******
I have no clue what to do.
I know this is happening to me because, in the future, I'll probably have to face funding for this organization on some level.
In fact, I have frenemies who are either County Commissioners or running for the seats. I would run for office this year....but....I need to work hideous hours now.
I should mention this to them.
I've hinted at it.
I've NEVER told them which county agency was goading me and my ex to be irresponsible towards our children.
I have mentioned that a county agency is asking to drop my ex's responsibility for his kiddos and shaming me for supporting a college student.
I'll wait until this is over so I can show them the entire story.
The Gods put me in these situations for bizarre situations. There is a reason I'm enduring this.
I'll probably wind up doing something about it.
We never know what the future holds.
******
I'm writing to let you know I'm still alive.
I'm still getting hang up calls.
There are many numbers I cannot trace.
One number turned out to be a bill collector for my ex-husband. They're calling my hypnosis business line.
This is getting exhausting.
I have to pay some of his bills because they involve the kids (charges that were incurred when they were on his insurance plan).
There are some things I will not pay for (his hand surgery, drugs and so on).
I learned my lesson when he wouldn't pull the auto insurance policy and they deducted his insurance premiums from my checking account for months after he left this house. I paid that after I was laid off from my job.
I told Ameriprise not to renew the plan since my ex wouldn't tell them he moved.
Do you know what is funny?
The judge wanted him to pay alimony!
My ex didn't cooperate in mediation so I gave up.
That's partly why I say it is a game.
He wins by ignoring stuff.
He will ignore this.
The state has incredible pull. If they behave as his attorneys, the kids will lose.
*****
This is what manipulation looks like.
People play games.
Employers play games with hours.
Salesmen play games with the truth.
County officials play games to increase their numbers. It's going to be funny when the future reveals how unsuccessful this program truly is.
Honest people don't get help from this program.
Manipulative deadbeats do.
It's sad.
I have other lessons.
Single mothers wrinkle due to a lack of sleep. I think I'm getting a bronchial infection and a rash.
When you're tired, you get sick easily and don't heal.
I have a lot of lessons.
I know the kids and I are going to get skewered by the State of Colorado and my ex in court.
That's my fault.
Yeah....on a metaphysical level I believe I brought this on myself.
I complained about being celibate for well over a decade.
Maybe my ex thought it would be fun to gang screw me in court.
Even if I tried to sleep, I'd stay awake worrying about it.
The funny thing is....just watch....they'll bring up my blog in court thinking it'll shame me into conceding child support to help my ex get a real job.
Sure, it'll help him......once he gets it lowered to nothing, he'll go back to work as an accountant and tell me he's still poor.
If I give up the funds, the kids will never get it back. They'll be impoverished and miss out on the things that can help them start adulthood on the right track.
I'm thinking the State of Colorado has its priorities mixed up.
They're lucky I'm too busy playing mommy and daddy to run around campaigning right now.
Love ya lots,
S.