Warped Gratitude Blog

Today I am thankful for the characters in Broadway plays. A man who I went to high school with found me on Facebook ten or so years ago.  I'll refer to him as Mr. Cheeky. Every week or so for years, we left obnoxiously sexually charged and cheeky comments for another high school friend.  These comments, at least in my mind, helped our friend meet his wife. They were filthy posts. We'd make them worse.  This friend and I hung out a bit.  He'd talk about the woman he later married.  We'd talk dirty to each other and he'd have to run outside and smoke a cigarette. He wanted to date me -but- I was unavailable.  He loved this other woman who lived thousands of miles away. I'd listen. Mr. Cheeky and I would encourage our friend to meet with the woman he obviously had a thing for. He finally bought a plane ticket and brought her home. It's awesome! The lovely woman he married is funnier that we are! Years later, it's easy to see

Today I am thankful for laughter. I heard this song. It made me giggle. As a child, I had two nicknames; Siegfred (because I reminded an aunt of the prankster in the All Creatures Great and Small novels or maybe because I'm not afraid to run with the big cats.....I don't remember now.....it probably had something to do with me hanging out with animals....) -and- heathen (because....I'm unapologetic). Yeah...... The real truth of this is that...  we are all heathens to someone! I'm Pagan - I'm a heathen to Christians. I'd say that Christians are heathens to Pagans.....but too many Pagans worship Christ. I'm libertarian leaning - I'm a heathen to RINOS (Republicans in name only) and Demoncrats. Liberal republicans are heathens to me. Some people think all politicians are heathens. Seriously..... We are all freaks.....we are all crazy....we are all different. Variety is the spice of life. You know, the trick is fi

Today I am thankful for dreams the nocturnal kind.... well maybe the other kind, too. My dreams are inspiring me to be more artistic.  Most of my hypnosis clients see me to help break down blocks to their creativity. I have been insanely busy.  I'm finishing up my last week as a quality analyst in the sales department for a major health care company. My boss panicked when I accepted a layoff agreement. They want to give me three months pay to look for another job.  I couldn't pass that up.  I promised to stay two weeks to help him out. I get paid the same whether I stay home or go to work. My team won't be released until April, so I decided to stay until the end of March. ************** No, I haven't lit my multitude of black candles. There has to be a better way to put into the universe that my local government needs to employ people with scruples..... and the City Attorney who looks like my brother-in-law needs to.....um.....learn et

Today I am thankful that I've decided to sell the house. There is an overweight Hispanic man with a beard sitting across the street in a Silver Dodge Ram dual-cab pick-up. He's been there several minutes. I'm terrified. He swooshed passed me as I began to leave my driveway and he pulled a U-turn in front of my house and parked across the street. I drove by and looked at the driver. He looks too much like Doug.  He has beard with a little gray in it. Doug had a little gray the last time I saw him. I came back home. Why today? Well....the district cancelled school due to a snowstorm that never happened. The kids stayed home. I woke up and there were little notes around the house telling me that school was cancelled so I decided to use the time that I would typically spend driving them around in my recording school. The power started to go off and on. I started to have a panic attack but thought, maybe, the wind was impacting the power lines. I

Today I am thankful that I am on a warpath. I woke up and chewed out a Groupon rep for lying to me. I went to work.  Some asshole keeps calling me from a company called CFS Litigation (aka) Commonwealth Financial Solutions trying to collect a debt from someone I met briefly at work two years ago. They call me with robo calls.  I call them back to have them remove my number.  They call again.  This time they called me during a meeting! They interrupted my meeting. I called them back and got some young smug jerk who doesn't understand that debt collectors can't tell you the name of another person who owes a debt.  He doesn't understand that when you ask for his name and the name and location of his company, he has to answer you.  To fail to do so, keeps the people being harassed from sending a cease and desist letter.  It is also a violation of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. He didn't believe me.  Then, the idiot started to mock my voice. I starte

Today I am thankful for a jackass who wouldn't let me make a lane change on Quebec. I wanted to go to a furniture shop so I could buy a new bed for the young lady staying at my home. She calls herself my favorite child. All children are my favorite.  She needs a bed. She likes the color gray.  She thinks gray tinted wood is beautiful.  It reminds her of Artemis. Artemis....the goddess protector of children. **************** As I drove down Quebec, this jerk wouldn't let me switch lanes. I'd speed up, he'd speed up. I'd slow down, he'd slow down. I missed my turn. I took the first right I could. The road dead-ended at a chain store. We were thirsty so we all clamored out of the car to get some soda. As we walked into the store, we found a brand new gray wooden twin bed, a dresser and a nightstand for $110.00 complete.  It was marked 70% off. They were in boxes that can easily fit in my car. That had to be meant for this

Today I am thankful that my left ear is burning. It could mean I have high blood pressure. I'm pretty sure it means that I've been heard. The bitch is back.  She's going to save other bitches. This bitch is said to be a witch. Dogs are sacred to Hekate and Artemis. Maybe I need to play up the witchy thing now.  Here's a little bit of history: When Pagans would leave food at the crossroads as an offering to Hekate, the food was typically eaten by dogs.  Christians would scoff.  Pagans believed that Hekate was feeding the animals who were sacred to her.  Don't harm dogs.  Don't kill dogs or else you'll anger the Queen of the Witches.  How many Pagans are in the Denver Metro Area?  How many of them are offended at the behavior of local governments? ************** My local government is killing dogs left and right. http://kdvr.com/2017/03/15/aurora-family-to-ask-judge-to-return-dog-declared-wolf-hybrid/ https://www.gofundme.com/S

Today I am thankful that I can label hoovering. I had a busy day.  I took the day off and wound up seeing three hypnosis clients and visiting the dentist. I'd hoped to spend the night in my makeshift recording studio...but I fell asleep editing the recordings. I have to edit out every unnatural sound, every plane that flies overhead, every car that zooms down the street.... You have to be awake for that! I was energetic until I checked my email.  ****************** Today was interesting to say the least. I put in a couple of applications for counseling jobs. I met a business coach that I might hire.  I also tried to clean out the basement. My ex left one hell of a mess in the basement, piles of paper, clothes.....mold on the wall.....food and dishes all over....mice....yuck! That's exhausting. ****************** I'm also a little bit annoyed at my ex-husband. I've noticed that he's been calling the landline.  There haven't been an

Today I am thankful for Amazon. So.. I have to clean up my basement.  My ex-husband squatted in the basement for three years after our divorce. The first year and a half, he had a traveling auditor's job.  He was rarely here.  He promised to move out once I got a good paying job. When he was out of town, his relatives would do creepy crap around the house and scare the heck out of me. It seemed to get worse when I advertised my hypnosis business or had job interviews. One day, I met someone that I knew from a concert.  He was recruiting for a health insurance company. I couldn't place where I met him.  We'll meddle with a letter in his name and call him Tim. One August day, a guy I'd known for years and thought we were dating, took me to a concert.  We had tickets on a makeshift dance floor.  He sold my tickets after we arrived and the only other tickets available were in the stands.  My alleged boyfriend spent the concert on the field (with someone else

Today I am thankful for EAP counselors. So.... I was called into a meeting.  My boss is trying very hard to get me to save my job by forcing me to work from home. I know he's trying.  He just doesn't understand.... HOME IS NOT MY SAFE PLACE! He accommodated my hours.  He accommodated my upcoming hearing.  Here is the problem, I hate my home. I hate the spare rooms I have. My ex lived there. He left a horrible mess there. It smells like rotten food, poop and body odor.  I spend hours each day trying to clean it up and I just end up having panic attacks on the floor. The smell reminds me of all the scary times....the rants....the blocking me when I tried to leave the house.....the cornering me and telling me to run off and 'eff my friends. It reminds me of Doug and Shannon.... the lies..... and the frightening things I'm trying to escape. Today the panic attack came to work with me.  ********* It could be that after I called the HR depa

Today I am thankful for remembering a shitty time in my life. So...this song reminds me of a drawing. It was a portrait that a young man made of me back in '87.  It was a very good likeness. It was so good that our high school art teacher put it in the showcase for the entire school to see. Everyone knew it was me. Yep..... It was drawn by my soon-to-be ex boyfriend. I think this is probably the real reason I run from him. He shamed me for being what he wanted me to be.  Let me explain.... The absolute dumbest mistake men make in relationships is to ridicule a woman for her sexuality. Some guys ridicule the women they love..... These kind of guys call their loves loose or sluts when they want to make 'em feel like men.  So....she starts to hold back. Then they wonder why the relationship goes cold sexually as the woman begins to withhold the nooky.  Stupid, eh? The thing that pissed me off most about this guy, is that when I wanted to audi

This video is strange.  It appears to be done in honor of Oshun (African Goddess of Love who was so poor she washed her clothes in the river until they became Golden).  The song has lyrics about Bathsheba and David (Soloman's parents...read 2 Samuel 11).  It speaks to me on a metaphysical level today - maybe - a little.  Today I am thankful for intention. I have a hypnotism mentor. He has a YouTube channel.  This guy says the darndest things. He said that the subconscious mind is like a genie on steroids. So....maybe all the interesting things that happen to me are due to my crazy subconscious mind rather than the 466 djinn I allegedly own. I went to the Pagan store and bought a lot of candles and oils.  The owner mixed them up for me and put them in a baggie. She sold me something called "Road Opener Oil" so I can find a job.  I asked if it was like leaving cigars by the door for Papa Legba. In my tradition, Papa Legba is Dionysus (Bacchus, Liber an

Today I am thankful for the lessons my hypnosis clients teach me.   Early this morning, my phone went off.  A woman from a little town two hours away wanted to drive to my office to stop smoking NOW. I used to run a special charging $250 rather than my full fee of $600. She saw an old ad and had cash. The other hypnotist I knew in the area moved recently and didn't work the weekends, so I told her to come on down. I took a long bath.  I drove out to the office and worked on a recording.  I promised her four visits for $140.00. That's what Groupon charges and I don't see how fair it is for her to pay more, especially since she's driving a long way just to see me.  Yeah.....I'm crazy.  I talked myself out of $110.00. Tomorrow, I am seeing an elderly couple.  They offered to pay me $300 an hour to see both of them and teach them how to relax. I couldn't take their money. They're on Medicare.  I can't keep them from buying food or p