Today I am thankful that in the end nothing really matters.
100 years from now, none of this crap will matter.
Either we live or we die.
Things are getting worse.
I work a crazy shift on the weekends. I chose this job because Michael was supposed to have the kids on the weekends.
I'll come home in the wee hours of the morning and find the garage door open.
Now, my friends tell me that I need to call the cops when I find the house wide open in the middle of the night.
I don't because I'm sure they'll claim my ex left the door open.
So far, the cops don't really help very much.
They won't listen to the creepy messages, or track down the IP addresses from the hacking attempts (even if a quick Google search shows the IP address to be in Westminster or Thornton).
They just tell me to change my phone number and stop using social media.
I don't bother them anymore.
I try to solve the problem myself.
My ex says he doesn't forget to shut the door.
Maybe he's forgetting things.
Or he is purposely trying to scare me.
The funny thing is that when he was out of town, I would wake up to find the garage door open.
I'm so scared that I double and triple check the doors. In fact, I'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to check the locks and doors.
I don't think I would have missed something like that.
When I came home on Sunday morning, I triple checked the locks before going to bed. I have a little alarm/stick type gizmo that butts up against the door knob of each door. I know that no one is going to break in, even if they have a key so long as I have this alarm against the door.
When I awoke early Monday morning. The alarm/stick gizmo was moved away from the front door.
None of the kids moved it.
I believe them. It would take a tornado to wake them up that early in the morning.
Michael claims he didn't move it.
Either someone is lying to me or is being forgetful.
That bothered me to the point I considered calling into work to get a restraining order.
The thought was that maybe Michael moved it to allow his family access into the house.
In the past he claimed to have given them keys to the house.
Maybe they still have them.
I don't know.
Tuesday I did a lot of running around. I saw hypnosis clients. I bought school supplies. I tried to reason with the high school to re-admit one of the children.
I got nowhere.
She was dis-enrolled because I forwarded my mail to a PO Box. They claim my PO Box is proof that I do not live in the district.
No, my PO Box is proof that I'm trying to thwart the stalking my protecting my mail. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?
I even brought the admissions office my utility bills.
She's still not enrolled.
I came home around 4:00 p.m.
My garage smelled like gasoline.
It wasn't coming from my car.
It was coming from the other side of the garage.
I couldn't find a gas can.
The lawnmower was outside and didn't seem like it had been touched.
I had assumed that Michael had come into the garage.
I asked him about It when he sauntered in around 1:30 this morning.
He hadn't been in the garage.
I've been driving the holy heck out of my car all day and I can't get it to smell like petrol.
My mechanic says it's fine.
I'm wondering......was someone in my garage?
Am I just crazy?
Or maybe someone is trying to make me look crazy.
Michael saunters in around 1:30 in the morning, I tell him about the crazy stuff and ask him if he's left the doors open or put a gas can in the garage and that kind of thing.
He says he hasn't.
He doesn't know why the garage would reek of gasoline.
He also believes his mother is putting people up to run me out of the house.
Then he tells me that he drove by his mother's house and saw Stalker Doug's truck sitting outside.
I don't know what to think.
Who is stalking whom?
This scares me.
He doesn't seem to take it seriously.
All I know is that he won't cooperate and he lacks boundaries.
The law limits my ability to act.
Like it or not, I'm his landlord. Even though he's not paying a cent – I have to evict him.
This is why I hired a lawyer last March.
I'm still waiting for my lawyer to take action. I am very close to firing him.
Maybe he's sick.
We'll see.
I'm at a loss as to what is happening.
I ask him to move out. He tells me no.
I tell him that I want to move out. He tells me no.
I'd sell the house but it's filthy. He needs to move out so I can clean up his messes.
It's not healthy to feel trapped in a relationship that one ended via divorce years ago.
You know, I can reason with just about anyone....except a crazy, irrational person.
You can't reason with crazy.
I think I know.
I stopped doing Michael's laundry.
I thought that would spur him to move out.
The first time I came home to an open garage, it was two days after I failed to do his laundry.
I didn't realize this until last night when I discovered that he's starting to throw his dirty clothes on the stairwell leading into the laundry room.
I'm exhausted. I really don't have the time and energy to work two jobs, pay all the bills, do all the household shopping and clean up after him.
Working two jobs and trying to clean up the fallout from the stalking crap is beginning to take its toll on my health.
I wish I knew what to do.
I'm not really sleeping. Around 3:00 a.m., I'll start having auditory hallucinations of an old Oberheim melody.
It sounds a lot like something Styx would have performed. I have a friend who tells me tales of his Oberheim synth from the 70's. That could be where the hallucinations are coming from.
Maybe I'm not hallucinating. It could be that I'm sleeping when I hear that sound but think I'm awake.
That is the Delta state for ya.
I may wind up putting my straight A daughter in private school.
I'm thinking about writing to a Douglas County school board member. They recently lost a lawsuit in which the Colorado Supreme Court ruled that public funds cannot be used for private school.
What about those taxpayers who pay homeowners tax for public school but cannot get their children enrolled due to the idiotic rules of the schools?
For instance, in the Cherry Creek Public School system, stalking victims have their children dis-enrolled for having their mail forwarded to PO Boxes. Today I learned that my childrens' school records were erased because they received notice of my PO box.
I cannot re-enroll them.
Tomorrow is the first day of school. I can't send them.
I'm going to reluctantly start interviewing private schools.
Why can't I get a tax refund to put towards private school?
I'll quiz a Senator about that tomorrow night.
Maybe I should put my excess energy into trying to assist in another victory for the taxpayer.
The battle with my stalker cannot be won. I've been on the winning side of many tax wars.
I'll let you know what happens.
Love ya,
S.