Death is My Only Way Out

Today I am thankful for a stupid lawyer.

Well....

I think I am.

I'm not sure.

The other day my lawyer told me that I could not get a restraining order because I'm not in danger.

I don't understand.

My ex-husband's family has been harassing me for over 24 years.

Things in my house are broken...computers....phones....

Pets are killed....

I live with an ex who refuses to move out of the house....

who I catch in constant lies....

who has begun to yell and glare at me for trying to do chores....

and I'm not in danger.

Alrighty then....

I am thinking of leaving my own house, losing all of the equity and letting my ex-husband take everything....

and taking the kids far away...

but then I'm sure he'll find me.....

Something isn't right here.

He was court ordered out of the house nearly three years ago....

he won't pack or move...

and I don't feel safe....

I still run into his relatives from time to time....

they swear up and down that they don't talk to Mike....

yet they know intimate details about what is going on....

things I don't post to this blog.

I don't feel safe.

If he kills me....

at least I'll be free.

I'm working on my will.

I want everything to go to my daughters if I die before I can get away.

Sorry this is choppy.

I'm crying so hard that I'm having trouble with my eyes

I think I'm going to fire my lawyer soon.

Delusional people are dangerous.

I need a restraining order.

I caught my ex lying about his latest round of job losses.

The ease with which he lies to me is scary.

If he can lie about quitting a job....

I'm sure he can lie when he says "I'm not involved with my family's stalking."

Scary stuff....

Stay safe out there.

No matter what, on the bright side, we'll all get to sleep someday.

Life is short.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Temporary Ending

Dear Readers: Over the past three weeks, I attended both a city councilperson's town hall and the mayoral town hall. Despite battling the flu, I dedicated two days to watching all available city council meetings and study sessions on YouTube in between bouts of cold chills. What I observed was a troubling pattern of disregard for honesty and disrespect towards citizens, the rule of law, and the influence of partisan politics. It has become evident that certain issues transcend the scope of a mere community art project. This realization prompted me to raise my voice, a departure from my usual composed demeanor. After discussing the situation with my family, we collectively decided to remain in Aurora. It is clear that true leadership entails making tough decisions rather than simply following personal desires. I look forward to the opportunity to address these concerns further in a different forum. Warm regards, S. P.S. There will be a new website.

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

Today I am thankful for a laugh. It didn't start out funny. My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer. My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent. I pointed at the shed. "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked. "Yes.", she replied. "That happens all the time!" She advised me to chain the door. I've done that. The thief just tears the roof off. It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants. Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess. My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me. I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years. Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...

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