Skip to main content

Death is My Only Way Out

Today I am thankful for a stupid lawyer.

Well....

I think I am. 

I'm not sure.

The other day my lawyer told me that I could not get a restraining order because I'm not in danger.

I don't understand.

My ex-husband's family has been harassing me for over 24 years.

Things in my house are broken...computers....phones....

Pets are killed....

I live with an ex who refuses to move out of the house....

who I catch in constant lies....

who has begun to yell and glare at me for trying to do chores....

and I'm not in danger.

Alrighty then....

I am thinking of leaving my own house, losing all of the equity and letting my ex-husband take everything....

and taking the kids far away...

but then I'm sure he'll find me.....

Something isn't right here.

He was court ordered out of the house nearly three years ago....

he won't pack or move...

and I don't feel safe....

I still run into his relatives from time to time....

they swear up and down that they don't talk to Mike....

yet they know intimate details about what is going on....

things I don't post to this blog.

I don't feel safe.

If he kills me....

at least I'll be free.

I'm working on my will.

I want everything to go to my daughters if I die before I can get away.  

Sorry this is choppy.

I'm crying so hard that I'm having trouble with my eyes

I think I'm going to fire my lawyer soon.

Delusional people are dangerous.

I need a restraining order.

I caught my ex lying about his latest round of job losses.

The ease with which he lies to me is scary.

If he can lie about quitting a job....

I'm sure he can lie when he says "I'm not involved with my family's stalking."

Scary stuff....

Stay safe out there.

No matter what, on the bright side, we'll all get to sleep someday.

Life is short.

Love ya,

S.




Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

Recognizing Psychological Abuse

Today I am thankful that I recognize relationship abuse.   I'm still sad. I thought Steve would be different.  For all the talk about anarchy and freedom, it simply didn't exist in our relationship.  I blamed the fact that I couldn't get my ex-husband to move on.  I blamed myself. It doesn't matter.  It is weird having my ex-husband explain to me how he took control of our relationship years ago.  Yes, he says that he knows what he did.  Yes, he said most men know the games they play.  Yes, most men do it for control. That is validating.  It's painful.  It's validating.  I know what my problems are.  I always do my best to see the best in other people.  I know that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes.  My issue?  Well, I am too forgiving and I feel badly when I break up with someone for hurting me.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I couldn't.  I'm st...
Read more

Covid (Edited)

Today I am thankful for unorganized conspiracies: It makes it easier to identify them. Politicians are going to label anyone calling bullshit on the Covid lockdowns a Conspiracy Theorist.   I have a saying; " Conspiracies happen all the time; it's only a theory until it's proven."  This one is easy to prove.  It's obvious that the powers that be threw a lot of shit at a wall to see what would stick.  They're trying to inundate us with useless information and financial pressure to wear us down. That doesn't work on the indominable American spirit. ***** Let's work backwards. The CDC is now lumping flu, pneumonia and Covid19 deaths in one number.  Get this....the numbers have been declining for the past 11 weeks! https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/covid-data/covidview/index.html We are now below pandemic levels. Tell me why Governor Polis and his merry band of naked Democrat Emperors are pushing masks and pushing more lo...
Read more