Skip to main content

Torn

Today I am thankful for self-reflection. 

Last week, I asked him when he will move out.  He was supposed to move out in mid-October, 2013.

He never did.  When he was making a lot of money, he refused to move out.  It was when I started to call divorce lawyers to force him out that he lost his job.  I had a woman call me pretending to be with a law office.  I told her everything.

Michael "lost" his job the next day.

The real representative from the law office called me a week later to apologize for not reaching out to me.  I learned that they had never called and that the number that called me was spoofed.

Now, I'm supposed to let him stay here until he finds a job.  He's been unemployed for nearly eight months.

The last time I asked him when he would move out.

He said Friday.

Friday, April 8, 2016.

He said he had a job interview.  If I'd just let him stay through the job interview, then he could leave.

I received a text message.

The job interview was canceled and will take place next week.

I feel torn.

There are days when I think that I'm only giving someone a place to stay.  By doing so, he doesn't have to pay child support.  He makes more messes than he cleans.  It's an act of charity. 

I feel guilty for wanting him out.

I want him out because of the stalking.  I fear doing anything or having a routine because routines invite the staking.

I don't know how to communicate with him. 

I know his job loss is just another excuse to stay here.

I sat in a meeting today.

I felt keyed up.

In fact, I always feel keyed up and anxious.

I tell myself, once Michael moves out, I can be myself again.

I don't know when that will be.

I never realized how sick the situation was making me until today.

I've been on edge for a long time.

I just want it to end.

I guess I need to file a contempt motion. 

This is crazy. 

Love ya,

S.

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.  We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor his financial

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out