Skip to main content

As Confused As Ever

Today I am thankful that I may have closure.

Maybe....

My ex-husband said he would be out of the house on May 1st.

I feel guilty because I was pushy about it.

He still swears up and down that he's not stalking me, messing with my computers and putting his family up to harassing me.

He says his family is doing it all on their own. He insists that they are breaking into the house.

He says that he doesn't know how they are getting their information. He thinks they are doing it electronically.

Maybe....

It doesn't make sense.

My ex-husband claims he has nowhere to go.  If he's telling the truth and his family is stalking me on their own, they're doing it because they want him to be closer to them.  I'm sure they'll welcome him back.

I do feel bad. 

What if he's telling the truth?

His story doesn't make sense.

****

I'm in the process of switching the utilities and getting a court order.

The reason he has to move by May 1st is that the children are on a state funded medical plan (CHP+).  He's supposed to carry insurance on them.  He "lost" his job. 

I had to put them on state funded insurance in order to comply with Obamacare.

I received a letter from the State claiming that Michael makes nearly $11,500 per quarter.  If he lives here, that income counts as my household income and the children will be kicked off of the plan. 

The expensive health insurance through my employer has a $6,000 per person deductible.  I may actually be better off buying something off of the exchange.  I know which plan I'd like.  It's not offered by my employer. It's an HMO.  On the bright side, this HMO company is hiring, maybe I can get lucky and work for them.

I sell insurance on the weekends.  This HMO is a really good deal...(hint...hint...KP....org).  I work for their main competitor. 

Yes, I am looking for another job. 

My company does have other plans for people in managerial positions.  I am applying for those, too. 

I thought I would share.

The problem is that I feel crushing guilt.

I feel like I am throwing a victim out on the street.  Other people tell me that I'm removing a predator from my life.

I know what I've experienced, being ignored, having money go missing, being yelled at, being stalked, having surprise crises crop up every few weeks, not knowing what to expect and so on.

I don't know.

I'll let you know what happens.

I've reached out to a locksmith and a local security firm. I need a security system and unbumpable locks.

I have someone coming out to give me a quote to repair the gutters.  Once that's done, I can get new insurance.

I have a few male co-workers helping me find a safer car.

Someone found a pink '93 Toyota Corolla with 66,000 original miles on it two miles away.  The owner doesn't want very much for it.  I'm not sure I'll be able to pick it up because it'll probably be gone by the time I can get to the bank. 

I was warned that some Toyotas can be easily stolen with a stripped ignition key.  I'll be sure to make sure this model isn't one that can be easily started before I buy it. 

That's my update.

I must remember to pay this help forward.

I'm going to owe the community a lot by the time this is over.

Love ya,

S.

P.S.  There is another issue that keeps cropping up.  I'm not sure how much to share.

Let's just say that men know when you care for them.  They feel it.  They want to explore it and take it to the next level.  I'm too messed up to do that and there are men who don't understand the need for time to fix messes and heal.

I'm tired of feeling awkward about the situation.  I need to move on.

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.  We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor his financial

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out