Too Busy & Tired to Write a Real Blog

Today I am thankful that I can just write notes.

I sell insurance to people in Hawaii.

For that reason, I usually work until midnight. I came home on Friday and found the garage door wide open.

I thought maybe Michael had forgotten to close it.

This morning, as I lay in bed trying to catch up on my sleep, I heard Michael leave at 6:30 to take our eldest to school. I heard the door open again just a few minutes later - I assumed it was Michael coming back to pick something up. It closed shortly after.

Well.....Michael came back ten minutes later.

I asked him if he forgot something and had to come back.

He said "no." He also claimed that he did not come back just a few minutes after leaving.

I gave up.

I retained a lawyer today.

I can't say anything more - I just realized that my computers were hacked so lawyers couldn't communicate with me very well.

This lawyer answered a plea I made on a forum. He remembered meeting me in 2012 and hearing about the stalker running me out of my hypnosis practice.

He asked if I found out who the guy was....yep. It was my ex-husband's sister's fiancé.

That's a mouthful.

I'm angry.

I'm hurt.

I feel like I'm going crazy and find myself doubting everything I see, think and feel.

I can't do this anymore.

Of course, Michael claims he has no where to go.

I'm awake at 1:00 a.m. trying to find the latest copies of the divorce decree and agreements that went missing....again.

I'm probably going to have to go back down to the courthouse to get the copies made.... again.

I am feeling incredibly manipulated and angry.

UGH!!!

Stay safe out there.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe. It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house. I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling. I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here. It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve. ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb. The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear. Fear that he won't honor hi...

Confused Terror

Today I am thankful for forensic research. I am realizing that my danger has not passed. Steve wants me to move beyond the stalking. I try. I research it. I delve into case studies. I read too much. How can I feel safe again? And, again it comes down to rage, anger, power, and the need to control another human being. Stalkers tend to have had a previous relationship with their victims and do not want to let go of said relationship. Then, I realize that I have my ex-husband living in my basement who daily tells me that Steve has everything he (meaning my ex) wants. Then I feel sick and scared. 90% of stalkers have the ability to coerce their families into stalking for them. I get more afraid. Am I allowing the enemy close access? Do I have to change up the divorce agreement, sell the house and move out of state? I also am learning that most incide...

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