Warped Gratitude Blog

 Today I am thankful for those rare moments when I actually think....  especially when the thoughts lead to decisions.  I'm about to enroll in school.  School was the only thing that kept me from having nightmares about people I really shouldn't worry about.  I'm thinking that the dreams are the Divine's way of pushing me to get that doctorate I promised my mom I'd get when I was fourteen.  So.... I'd better brush up on my CPR..... because it'll be embarrassing in just a few years when someone screams out  "is there a doctor in the house?"  and all eyes move to me and I'll have to say  "I'm not that kind of doctor."  CPR....that was the only thing I ever did in which I was thankful for all those hours I spent playing bass.  Seriously....the only help I can be in a medical emergency right now is to dial 911 and say something stupid like "Tell me what this is like for you?"  Yeah.....I just want the psych doctorate because

 Today I am thankful that 97.98% of statistics are made up on the spot.  I'm a mess.  I have no skin on a very private part of my body.  Thankfully, I can barely see it.  The part I see gives me panic attacks.  With the panic attacks, I am also thankful for a new Buspirone prescription.  Apparently, it is not uncommon for people with significant burns to have panic attacks.  I have long, red marks running down my behind and thighs.  I am missing skin on my thumb and parts of the muscle are still open.  I have to decide if I want to wear silicone to keep me from scaring or ignore it and be an ugly woman of character.  It's disgusting to look at.  It's painful to think about.  There was a thought - this would be the day someone would proposition me for the horizontal polka.  Here is the checklist of stuff that tends to occur when I meet guys interested in me.  I'm bloated  - check  I've got a zit on my nose - check  When naked I look like a sat on a bunch of sharp sha

This song was inspired by a severe water burn .  I feel lucky, at least I didn't burn my nasal passages.    Today I am thankful for the lesson to stop making wishes in my house.   So -  the burns in a certain area of my body got worse over the past three days.  I wanted to resume cleaning out my closet so I could donate the nice clothes to the center where I work.  I sat on the floor of the closet, tears falling down my face and consumed by the pain.  I feel like I've had a running anxiety attack since I received the burns.  My face and extremities will go numb.  I can't hear anything.  My heart races.  The only thing that helps is sleep.  At this point, I decided to ask my boss for another day off and schedule an appointment with my doctor.  My doctor is Nigerian.  He has one of those beautiful, hearty laughs and soothing voices.  The hardest part about visiting his office is hearing other patients yell at him because he won't participate in doctor shopping and refill

  Today I'm thankful I made it home before the blizzard struck.  Yes, every single time I have a dream about a person from my past. I pray for him.  My thought process is that I'll give the worry up to my higher power and divinity can do whatever needs to be done.  He's lucky the gossips are wrong about my religion. I don't worship Satan.  Satin?  Maybe..... Not Satan.  (Just teasing.... about the satin thingy.....) Every time I pray for him.   It snows.  Last time we got 15" of snow and I nearly met the reaper getting on to the highway.  I still have to get the car fixed from that.  I must've scraped the radiator on some ice because my car is leaking orange fluid.  Sigh.... This is probably what happened during that freak snowstorm in May of 2014.  This time, all I know is that the windows in the basement are blacked out.  Snow is covering the windows of the main floor and the windows from the second floor look like our six foot fences are half covered with sn

  Actually, don't.  Stupidity isn't worth it.   Wait....wait.....is that a toaster bass?  Maybe a single mom needs one of those.  I can make breakfast and practice....at the same time....until I stick my hand inside and fry myself.....sigh....at least my hair will stay curly.... . Nevermind....watched the video again, it's just a guitar....sigh... Today I am thankful for the possibility of never having to wax again.  So -  I did a stupid thing this afternoon.  Yeah -  I sat on my mattress with my legs extended outward.  I had heavy duty nail glue in my lap as my boss likes us to look polished.  I hate nail polish (takes too long to dry and chips too much).  Little plastic nail shields only take a few minutes to glue on and take off.  So, I found these boring, short, nude fake plastic nails and industrial strength nail glue that I bought from AlliExpress.  As I'm sitting my bed, the 1 ounce bottle tips towards my belly spilling out most of the contents of the bottle on m

Today I am thankful I'm breathing.... at least barely.  It has been a crazy 36 hours.... Yesterday afternoon, I received a letter that may or may not mess up my career.  In order to get my counseling license, I have to get a letter stating what I need to do to have the same education as someone who recently graduated from a CACREP accredited school.  My degree is soooo old, I earned it before the university was CACREP approved.  All I should need is a practicum.  The person at the credentialing organization did not review my level of education for licensure (even thought that's what I asked in the letter).  They reviewed it for a minor certificate.  Right now, I don't know if I need more than a practicum to get licensed.... maybe I'll need a doctorate?  Or if I should take an expensive test to get the certificate?  That's a little stressful.  I'll be a little peeved if I spent the last two years in a low-paying job being abused for no reason.   It's weird wo