Today I am thankful that I decided to give up on holding my ex to honoring our divorce agreement.
Child support....well, according to the State of Colorado....it's optional!
Whatever the State of Colorado wants, the state of Colorado gets.....so.....I decided to end the fight.
I've decided to let my ex win his game......they can gut child support and make me responsible for everything.
There is no law forcing an able bodied parent to work (custodial or non-custodial). If a parent wants to be unemployed, no one can do a darn thing about it.
So....
If he wants to pretend to be impoverished, that's on him.
If he wants to pretend NOT to have family he can live with, that's on him. He has several relatives here. They were stalking me for him! Come on.....why would they do that if he can't live with them?
Something is off.
If he wants to claim to be depressed and in a 27 month alcoholic rehab program, he can play that game with himself.
If he asks for any more money or property from me, he's not getting it. I can't afford to help him anymore.
These games are going to hurt him far more than anyone else.
He's throwing away his career.
I can't help him.
******
Crazy people go to crazy lengths to get what they want.
The thing that bothers me is that....well...if rehab is a way to skirt child support, why don't many non-custodial parents do that? Why don't they all just jump on the rehab bandwagon and end their responsibilities?
They can get therapy and force their kids into poverty.
It would seem that there would be many selfish and angry people willing to do just that because it is allowable.
Maybe most people aren't that nasty.
I don't know.
It's hard for me to believe that this is allowable.
It must be.
Why else would the State government push it so hard?
Why would they coddle a deadbeat to this extent?
I am pretty frustrated when I think about how someone who is truly homeless and without support is on the streets while this slick guy is taking up a spot in a shelter. This isn't the first program he's been in this year.
He told me that the city funded his apartment in December 2016 through August 2017. I used to fight city tax hikes.....I'm disgusted that he displaced someone in true need just so he could play the role of a victim.
He is an accountant! He didn't want to take jobs that were offered to him. I do a LOT of networking.
I know he refused jobs! He yelled at me for telling him about offers that were sure things!
It's not my fault.
I tried to help.
You can't help people hell bent on messing themselves up.
*******
All the money I'm spending trying to do right by the kids is money that I'm not spending ON the kids.
I made less than $30,000 this year due to the lay-off. I spent $10,000 on legal fees over the course of the past 18 months to get this guy out of my house.
I'm proud of myself. I still have several weeks of unemployment left. I worked as much as I could. It wasn't enough.
At least I have my self-respect.
I've realized that cheaters and liars always prosper. I can't keep up with the lies well enough to argue against them.
For my sanity, I have to pull back from fighting him.
The government on the other hand.....oh, they ought to know better than to skirt their own laws.
I'm tired of seeing them break the rules they put into place.
******
If the State of Colorado is putting deadbeat dads in 27 month rehab programs, there is really no point in trying to help my ex see the kids, help with insurance or pay child support.
Two of the three kids will be in college in 27 months. When the third goes to college in five years, I can work two full time jobs to get out of debt.
I can't count on help from this guy.....ever. If he wants to ruin his life to spite me, there really isn't anything I can do about it.
In reading the case law, I'm seeing a trend where people can't collect back support for children who have reached the age of majority. There is no point.
I've lost.
It's a waste of time and money trying to fight for the kids.
It's better if I work all the time.
Sad....but true.
I've found three jobs. They are all part time jobs.
I found a job delivering packages. I found a job in a medical call center and I have my small business.
The call center will help me work from home (if I can clean up the mold my ex left on the walls). The delivery job will have flexible hours. I can always decide when to work at my business.
I do need to save up for a new phone and cell phone plan to work the delivery job. It'll take awhile. I'll do it.
As I'm trying to create a living, I can fund the bills by stealing money from my 401-K. This will certainly be cheaper than spending $1,500 a month of legal bills generated by my ex refusing to cooperate with attorneys.
This is what he wanted.
I hope he and the bureaucrats who helped him truly enjoy this victory.
Let them taste it.
Let them choke on it.
Ill gained victories are like eating binge eating a chocolate cake. You may enjoy every single bite but it will stick to you and make you unattractive.
Everyone eventually sees the truth of our bad habits.
*********
I'm serious about fighting the entity that is enabling him. I'm not sure how. I'll find a way. I hate to think that other custodial parents are fighting the very people who are supposed to help them.
It's like we live in Bizarro world. Everything is backwards. The government supports deadbeat parents while running up bills for hardworking ones. The government wants to buy heroin so people can shoot up in government offices.
Colorado has turned blue! It's like we are suffering from an oxygen deficiency due to all the pot smoking the lawmakers must be doing!
Helping people break the law will backfire on these politicians. I think they're too stupid to see the writing on the wall.
They need to enjoy their wins while they can.
They will lose as people get tired of the crap.
Mark my words.
*******
Manipulative people win small victories. It doesn't matter if they are women or men.
They lie without conscience.
They are so practiced at lying that they are believable.
People with consciences cannot hope to win when up against proficient liars.
It's cheaper for me just to walk away from the fight and let him win.
I'll turn my attention to gutting programs that are horrible stewards of taxpayer dollars. I'm not sleeping anyway due to the stress so it's not like I have better things to do.
I have found that it's easier to fight things that cause me to lose sleep than it is to ruminate over the unfairness.
Liars may win battles
-but-
honest people win wars.
My goals are different. I know I'm screwed financially.
At this point, I just want to prevent this from happening to another single parent.
If I stay in the fight with my ex, I cannot talk about what the State is doing. If I let them win, I can fight the bigger war.
I realize my ex will never help anyway - so, I may as well attack the beast enabling him.
*****
This song reminds me of the great Goddess Nemesis.
Make sure your victories are victimless!
That is the key to a happy and serene life.
Besides, jerks and liars tend to have bad luck. People don't try to help them because they get burned. His luck will get worse with time.
It pays to be polite and kind. Yes, when the kids ask I tell them their father loves them.
I'll be kind. I will do my best to protect other people in my situation. May this be the last time the state punishes someone doing the right thing to enable someone who won't.
If you're in Colorado and sick of the crap, consider sending money to the Colorado Union of Taxpayers. When I get back on my financial footing, I'm joining again.
The only thing you can do about an out of control government is fight them.
I have nothing left to lose by fighting unfair government entities.
Love ya lots,
S.
P.S I am hoping another custodial parent victimized by this organization sees this and knows they are not alone. I'll end this debacle and find a way to publicize what I've been through.
The only trick is hiding the truth from the kids. How do I tell the truth of CO-PEP without letting the kids know what their dad is doing?
There has to be a way. This entity shouldn't be around in 2019. It's got to go!