Today I am thankful for recognizing bad anarchist advice.
I am feeling terrorized by my ex-husband. We wants me back. He won't cooperate with the divorce papers. He never split the money. He won't show me documentation to prove where the missing money went.
I am feeling trapped.
His sister is stalking me. I think she is. It's been a couple of months since I've seen her watching me. I'm not sure it's over. I have had lulls in it before. It tends to pick up around Mother's day and Christmas.
I started going to the cops in 1999 after she took a gun to the neighbor and told him that I was angry with him and watching his every move. This caused the neighbor to act out towards me.
He'd try to bait my dog into barking with meat pushed through the slats on our adjoining fence. If my dog made a move for it, he'd call the police claiming he was bit by a dog.
He'd claim he heard my nephew use curse words in my living room and call the police. I was threatened with arrest for allowing a child to disturb the peace. I knew the District Attorney so he never took me into custody.
Shannon's best friend was the Sergeant, so I was typically the one threatened with arrest every time I made a report. The neighbor quickly learned that the cops were sympathetic to him. I never understood why for a very long time.
The sergeant was new to the area. He was one of a handful of white men working at this department. I took my story to another police officer. That officer listened patiently and promised to take care of it because no one should be forced from her home due to the actions of the police.
Two months later, I would learn that this Sergeant was demoted for altering police reports and not taking appropriate action on them. The officer I spoke with became the new sergeant. I never had a problem with stalking from my sister-in-law at that house.
Shannon took it to graduate school and my places of employment.
*****
There are many more stories that have accumulated after 22 years of this.
It was only Saturday when I learned that Michael is doing whatever he can to stay with me. I am beginning to believe that the cops are right, Michael is asking his sister to stalk me so I cannot leave the relationship.
*****
The most dangerous thing to tell a stalking victim is to NOT call the police. Steve advised me to pretend that there was no authority. I am supposed to pretend that the divorce decree is meaningless (so I cannot access my own money) -and- I am supposed to NOT make reports to the police.
That is stupid. This is why the stalking got to the point it did. I did NOT call the police between 1992 and 1999.
*****
As of this day, I am trying to find a way to tell Steve that I am not safe seeing him. In fact, I do not think I am safe having any relationships with members of the opposite sex until Michael is out of the house.
I'm not even sure I'm safe holding a job.
If I am with Steve, I have to pretend that there is no authority? Anarchists are pushovers? Come on....it is stupid to pretend that we have no authority. In a true Anarchist society, I could have a concealed carry without a permit. I could find various ways to protect myself that are not open to me now.
Oh....so.....if I want to pretend that there is no authority, I get to let my ex-husband walk all over me. I get to let his sister stalk me. I get to let his brother in law grab me in public. I get to let my in-laws harass my colleagues.
That is dumb advice.
We do not live in an Anarchist society.
I feel handcuffed by my ex ignoring mediated agreements. I feel handcuffed by Steve's theory.
I am frustrated. I am an introvert. I'm better off staying away from both of them. This will make Michael happy because the competition will be gone and I'll have more time to sit here and fold his laundry.
*****
The only viable option for me is to isolate myself until I come up with a new safety plan.
Mike wins by default. I can't see other men due to the stalking. He is treating the divorce like a piece of paper. We are still in the same sexless relationship we had for many years, except that now I do not have health insurance.
I fear his family. This is where his power comes from. If I do anything that he doesn't want me to do, I'll get stalked.
Michael made it clear that he wants me back. The stalking will pick up. I'm better off alone.
I hate this life.
Love ya,
S.
P.S. I'll clean up the post later.