Warped Gratitude Blog

Today I am thankful for the realization that bullies have always been my biggest life challenge. It's not the bullies that are the exact challenge - it is keeping my presence of mind in the face of bullying. I was a child when I swore off magick. Do you remember that story about the Monkey's Paw? That did it for me.  I come from a long line of  relatives who engaged in sorcery and superstition. I wanted no part of it. Then the universe had to put my feet to the fire. My Step-father was kind of a bully.  He was also fairly stupid.  He drank and he liked to play with guns. Fortunately, when he was lucid, he taught me about gun safety.  This helped on those occasions when I had to walk the weapon to the authorities. Man, his pistol was a pretty little thing.  It was a silver Smith and Wesson six shooter with a pearlescent handle. It was beautiful.  I loved the smell of the gun grease. The last time I saw it was 1980 when I walked i...

Today I am thankful for a spark of insight that I received from reading a local news story.  We have a paper here in town that... well.... let's just say.... the entire publication brown noses the local government. I always figured that they had to push every tax hike..... rally behind every measure introduced.... and love those in power..... because those are the only people who actually advertise in the darn paper. Most of the ads are from the local government.  During election season, most of the ads are from candidates. I even tried to advertise in the paper but found they were too expensive for the small amount of exposure I would get. There is a better free paper in the area. ***** I try to take the liberal bull in stride.  It's business. I understand....you don't want to alienate someone helping to pay the bills. ***** Today, I read a story by one of the most creative reporters. He likes to wear a mask.... I think of that as his...

Today I am thankful that I have a place to document the weirdness. Well.... Someone was in my house on Wednesday afternoon.  My eldest daughter heard footsteps.  She barricaded herself into her bedroom with the cat and waited a few hours for the footsteps to stop She went downstairs and didn't see anything. Nothing was taken. A couple of boxes of football cards are gone -but- I did let a neighbor take things out of my garage.  Perhaps I didn't notice that he wanted the sports cards. This has gone on for years.  I thought changing the locks and garage door codes would solve the problem. I don't know what to do. We don't call the police any more.  In the past, the police would tell me that my ex just wanted to mess with my head and that if I divorced him it would stop. I divorced him. It was written into the separation agreement that he could have access to the house to see the kids after school when I worked.  That idiocy was the brainc...

Today I am appreciative of the difficulties of being civilized when trying to get your point across to an absolute moron.  So...the DA for my county doesn't prosecute stalking unless it involves another crime. This was the reason that the police department in the City of Aurora, Colorado refused to take police reports over the past several years. He did a fair job prosecuting James Holmes.. The DA, Brauchler, wanted to be governor. (With pressez) Ha.....ha.....ha....ha......ha..ha...ha...ha....ha... I haven't laughed so freakin' hard in my life. This idiot guy finally got it in his thick skull realized that he would never win the role of Governor so now he aspires to pretend to uphold and honor the Constitution as Colorado's Attorney General. (Rallentando).... Ha....ha......ha.........ha......ha............HA.....(with a growl).....HA The man's a freakin' traitor. He, along with another fake conservative, just proposed a bill to enable ...

I can totally relate to the message at 1:27-1:34.  As a child, I discovered that bass playing has always helped for some stupid reason.  I'm thankful for the ability to cope very well during a panic attack.  I started to have a panic around 3:30 this morning.  It's nearly noon and it's ongoing. It's like an old friend that I can barely tolerate coming to visit unexpectedly.  This friend I haven't seen for about a year and half! I can't figure out what the trigger was. When this friend visits, I feel full of adrenaline.  I swear my head feels like helicopter blades swirling 'round and 'round.  I hear a swirling rhythmic sound in my ears. This leads to massive headaches. In the past it led to vertigo but now I can control it the point I just feel lightheaded for a few minutes. My mouth gets dry and burns.  My face goes numb. I can still cope.  I've gotten to the point of being able to control my energy and ground myself ...

Today I am thankful for the teachers who, quite publicly, called me an "idiot" and a "moron" for positing that the United States is a Constitutional Republic*.  Sigh.... Their lack of decorum makes me wonder how they talk to kids that don't understand their lessons. If this is how they talk to the kids, they don't deserve another $1.6 billion tax hike. I'm not the only one.  It seems as though self-described teachers like to call voters who don't cow down to the union line "morons." One would think educated people would have a more professional vocabulary.  I saw that word quite a bit today. The teachers and their unions don't understand, do they? The teachers claim to be striking for higher pay.  Neither the voters nor the lawmakers get to decide teacher pay....that's between the unions and the school districts. Striking during the school week, with little notice in my district, well.....that puts them at odds with...

   Today I am thankful for time to think.  I've spent a lot of time asking myself what I should do?  I received a phone call three days ago from a recruiter promising my ex a six figure job. Should I tell my ex about the call? I debated really hard about calling my ex and telling him. In the end, I decided not to call my ex. Calling him causes him to beg for money. How do I know the telephone call wasn't initiated by my ex to hoover me into contact? Uh.....I don't know. Why is my ex putting my telephone number on his resume? Creepy..... There are more thoughts to ponder..... Too much to think about..... and few people that I trust. Actually, I trust people too much, until they give me a reason not to trust them. I don't trust the man who put his family up to stalking me. ***** There are times when I wish that family court judges and lawmakers understood the games that controlling people play. They treat children like comm...