Whoa - My Love Life As An Album

Today I am thankful that I can find musical language to describe my love history.

So...I have a habit of buying CDs off of the dollar rack at a local consignment store. I went looking for a Woodstock era CD for an aging guitarist with Alzheimer's as I was hoping the music could bring him moments of lucidity.

I didn't find Hendrix.

Instead I found the Robert Smith experience.

So I listened....

I was never a big Cure fan. Many of my old guy friends are.

Me....not so much.

I listened anyway.

Yeah....been there...done that.

No shame.

Yeah....I have nightmares then I miss someone.

I pray no one misses me.

Yeah, a couple of them come around every few years.

I'm so very busy.

In fact one of them called me ten days ago.

I must be a little freaked out because within moments of getting the phone call and the request to meet, I left my phone in a flippin' grocery store across town.

My subconscious mind must like being alone.

Despite my busyness, I still love them.

I should probably emerge from the recoding studio

go out and replace my personal cell phone

so I can call this old friend back.

I guess I could figure out how to hook up the VOIP. I've paid for the home number for over ten years - I just don't know how to use the phone.

Part of me wonders if this was why I got married when I was younger, I was far too stupid to hook up the stereo and VHR.

Amps...no problem.

Stereos? VHRs? I didn't care too much about those things.

Introverts probably don't have much use for home phone lines.

I'll call my old friend back.

It's weird.

This isn't the one in the nightmares. This is one I've known much longer.

Strange.....

At our age, we probably don't have s much time to hang out as we used to.

Love ya,

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

Today I am thankful for a laugh. It didn't start out funny. My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer. My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent. I pointed at the shed. "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked. "Yes.", she replied. "That happens all the time!" She advised me to chain the door. I've done that. The thief just tears the roof off. It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants. Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess. My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me. I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years. Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...

Temporary Ending

Dear Readers: Over the past three weeks, I attended both a city councilperson's town hall and the mayoral town hall. Despite battling the flu, I dedicated two days to watching all available city council meetings and study sessions on YouTube in between bouts of cold chills. What I observed was a troubling pattern of disregard for honesty and disrespect towards citizens, the rule of law, and the influence of partisan politics. It has become evident that certain issues transcend the scope of a mere community art project. This realization prompted me to raise my voice, a departure from my usual composed demeanor. After discussing the situation with my family, we collectively decided to remain in Aurora. It is clear that true leadership entails making tough decisions rather than simply following personal desires. I look forward to the opportunity to address these concerns further in a different forum. Warm regards, S. P.S. There will be a new website.

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