Warped Gratitude Blog

 I am thankful that most people are kind.  Typically those that that aren't kind are severely hurt (even the cluster b's but their hurt cannot be easily helped and they'll just draw you into their manipulative web).  It's estimated that .1% of the population are psychopaths and 1% are sociopaths.  Today was a weird day.  I felt like a new born deer trying to walk with the crutches. It was bizarre and funny.  My kids initially didn't believe anything was wrong so they didn't want to help me.  Now, that they know there is a fracture, they're helping me get stuff to and from the car.   I get in trouble for scooting down the stairs (can't figure out the crutches thing yet).  I also have no clue what to wear over my cast.  I've been wearing my new collection of dresses.  Early in the day, I received an email from my new boss reminding me to get the urine screen.  I had completely forgotten otherwise I would have done that while I was at the hospital Wedne

Today I am thankful that I do my own stunts.  So, on Feb. 3rd, I slipped in a puddle of water on the stairs at work.  I banged up my right knee, coccyx and right wrist pretty bad.   Apparently, everyone heard the THUD.  That was embarrassing.  I never had my knee looked at.  Shortly after I slipped, I got the first Covid shot.  It made everything hurt.  I wanted to make sure that the pain was due to the fall before filing workman's comp.  Three weeks later, I was set to get that second covid shot and....BAM!  I spilled an ounce of nail glue on my pants, burning the skin off of both of my legs, my buttocks and my labia.  It got me somewhere else, too.   I kinda fear finding a relationship because I'm not sure if certain things would be super painful. Let's just say that the sensations I have are bizarre, unpredictable and intense.  Don't burn your (thing some guys don't know exists).  yeah.  Thank goodness I'm a hypnotist and can push physical sensations away at

Today I am thankful for sleep (maybe).... Oh, and I'm fully vaccinated.      Yeah - not so sure I trust the vaccine.  I won't let the kids get certain vaccines until they are of age because they haven't been on the market very long. If they are going to get sick, at least it'll be their decision.   With Covid, my rationale was bizarre -  It was.... I have an eating disorder so I eat a bunch of diet foods containing aspartame, sucralose, saccharine and a host of other bizarre chemicals (possibly formaldehyde because I swear some stuff tastes like particle board....that's supposed to be a joke but if you've tasted diet food, you'd wonder).  I eat so much weird stuff, what harm can mutated RNA do that I haven't already done to myself? The first shot made me tired and made the pain in my injured knee worse.  The second one gave me a sore throat, chills and made me sleep.  I slept 16 hours yesterday.   The problem with sleep is the dreams.  This time the drea

  Today I am thankful for my return to sanity.  So -  Um -  I was bullied from my last job by some woman from Arizona who scoffed at my famous associates.  Well, she didn't exactly scoff at them.  She insulted them and made bizarre assumptions about them.  When she found out who my mentors were, she kinda went crazy.  Apparently someone on the staff knows someone who has a beef with a famous mentor of mine.  Whatever..... Towards the end of my employment, this woman called me into her office nearly daily.  She hated my hair.  She refused to give me eye contact. I wasn't allowed to take time off to go to the Emergency Room due to a chemical burn (by the time I got to the hospital, there was nothing they could do).  I couldn't take time off to get my knee looked at following a workplace injury. She also accused me of bizzare things (hypnotizing the patients) and claimed my mentors hated the company (?).  Oh, I think she tried to diagnose me with an unspecified mental disorder

 Today I am thankful that I am gracious and can ignore attempts to irritate me.  So....my boss called me into her office in late January and said that she had gotten a complaint about "my energy."  She couldn't say what exactly was wrong with my energy (to be fair she hadn't earned her counseling license yet).  I asked if it were impacting my performance.  She said yes but had nothing to say when asked how it was impacting my performance.  She asked if there were changes in my life.  Yes, numerous people have died of Covid and other illnesses in the past year.  As I sat there in my mask, she told me to "smile more" and stop acting depressed. I could not get time of work to mourn.  Oh, and I never fit in with the company because no one likes me.  I have to say that was hard because I really wanted to giggle.  Then she was upset that a patient said nice things about me.  This was when I started sucking down energy drinks like crazy so I didn't act like Eey

  Today I am thankful for cheap cell phones.  I look so much younger in the pictures due to the poor pixilation!  Or it could be that I'm not worried about people who tell stories to my boss anymore.  I'm still not sure if the colleagues pegged as the gossips really did it...or if my boss made stuff up because she's afraid I'm going to grieve her.  I didn't see her do anything illegal.  I cannot grieve her.  She keeps talking about "gray areas" of the law and that I need to understand that those exist.  She never tells me the context of those comments.  One of the alleged gossips keeps talking to me about this "gray area" that I know nothing about.  So -  I asked the alleged gossip who cries when she's alone what she would do if someone lied about her.  She said that she would pray for them.  So, I'll pray for her.  ( just like I do for the guy in my past....I'll light little white candles and pray for her happiness because if she'

  Today I am thankful for an exit plan.  Well....I thought the bullying at work was kept secret from the patients.  I'm still nice to my colleagues (even the gossipy ones and the boss who revels in the gossip).  I still buy birthday cakes, expensive birthday cards and gifts for everybody.  One would hope a leader would be far too busy to give life to stories.  I still enlist help of my colleagues to pick out the flavor of the cake and help make the decorations. I must spend $50 a month on birthdays.  I spend about $100 a month on office supplies and donations.  Last Friday, I spent over $50 buying clothing for the patients so they could go on a hike.  The Case Manager asked me to take them shopping, she just didn't give me very much money to buy clothing for 14 people.  I had to add to the pot.  They don't know that.  I told them that ARC donates coupons to pay for things non-profits need, then I sent them to wait for me while I paid for the stuff.  I didn't lie.  I jus

  Today I am thankful for lawyers.... and the fact that I really don't like suing people (despite joking about it all the time).  Yes, I've sued people (but, they were bad....really, really bad).  I really don't ever want to have to do that again.... ever...... Seriously..... So - I got a couple of bites for jobs helping homeless addicts.  This is exciting!   The jobs don't pay well but, at least, my soul will be fed.  I'm looking forward to the interviews tomorrow.  The other day, I had yet another colleague tell me that two women I work with are trying to get me fired.  We've lost so many people due to the obnoxiousness.  The last one who quit told me the boss was mocking my psych degree and credentials when I wasn't around.   Another women told me that she was the victim of workplace bullying in a previous job so she knows it when she sees it.  She left.  She told me to get the heck out of there before they kill my spirit.   Apparently, a woman they got t