Today I am thankful for baby aspirin.
I probably ate far too much salt. I took an older woman out to dinner yesterday and ate a burrito.
Shouldn't have done that.
I've got a headache from Hades and my chest hurts like hell.
Maybe it's time to take a baby aspirin and come back to this thing because I swear that I had seven or eight mini heart attacks today.
Seriously....
[Be right back]
Maybe I'll feel better now....
First thing I do in the morning is weigh myself.
I have gained 1.4 pounds!!!
That nearly put me in the running for a mini-stroke. That had better be water weight...
Sigh....after six months have having the scale go backward, upward movement is a little shocking.
I'd just invested in new clothes, too!!!
*****
Then I tried to darken my hair, the strawberry blond is still the same color. That's probably because I use a lot of conditioner and protein filler to keep my hair from breaking. The dye didn't take.
My hair is the same color but now my hair is curlier!
This made me sad. Now, I'm worried about getting ridiculed in the next meeting. I still can't figure out why a boss at a non-profit gives a crap about the texture of my hair. Seriously.....
I really want to get some more experience in the field. I've got to find another job with less vain bullies.
It was hard not to freak out when I saw myself in the mirror. I guess I could wear that obnoxious Ariana Grande wig to work tomorrow so I can give them something to criticize me for.
*****
As a divorced woman, I tend to avoid cleaning out stuff because it evokes too many bad memories. This past eleven months, I've lost over 20 people (friends, family, acquaintances) so going through my things and the gifts I collected over the years makes me cry.
I managed to clean off my dresser. It's weird what random junk reminds us of.
When I was married, I lost a lot of hair due to the stress. I found an unopened bottle of minoxidil. I'd forgotten I bought it. Never used the stuff. It was easier just to hide from the ex and his family.
There are thousands of scrunchies to tame the beast that is my hair.
I think I should pierce something, too. I have lost more earrings than I care to count but somehow managed to save one of each pair.
My jewelry box is 5' tall. That thing is stuffed with jewelry. I don't want to clean it out. The exes (well most of them*) bought me a lot of sparkly stuff.
Maybe my sister can take mom's jewelry out of it and donate the rest.
That is....well....if I can be sure there isn't any creepy stuff in it. Yeah, I actually did have pieces sent to me from the estates of alleged practitioners of the dark arts.
Maybe giving it to my sister isn't such a hot idea after all.
Don't want to give her a mini-heart attack.
*****
I did find the orange notebook I had in high school where I wrote the Vogon poetry about subjects that really weren't as much fun as I thought they would be.
The dreams have finally stopped. I don't want to get back to dreaming of the star of the Vogon poetry.
(Can't write poetry? Neither can I. This link from the BBC cracks me up. You might like it. Have fun!! BBC - Cult - Hitchhiker's - Vogon Poetry Generator )
At this point I gave up cleaning and went online shopping.
*****
I bought my youngest sister something that I know she'll want. This is the one that wants to chase me around with botox. I don't want botox. She does her own botox and it scares me when I see her and her face looks swollen.
The device below helped me get rid of a varicose vein (from crossing my legs and kicking them when annoyed by jerks in power). Red will help minimize wrinkles. Blue will kill bacteria and cause veins to temporarily retreat. It also is a massager. That's when I think I nearly had another mini-heart attack. 
When I ordered it, there was no place to mention that it was a gift or who the purchaser is. I bought it from a factory in Korea (they always have the most cutting edge beauty stuff but when I got mine, the instructions were in Korean - not English. I don't remember there being illustrations, either).
Now, I'm worried she's going to think it's a fancy sex toy.
I'm debating warning her or just enjoying hearing about the fall out.
*****
Since I've been sleeping alone, I've developed bizarre habits like sleeping with red LED lights above my canopy bed.
I also have a Jason-esque hockey mask I wear, too.
If the guy sticks around, he might think he got a bait and switch. One day I'll look young and the next, well, I'll look like the old hag I really am.
Maybe it'll be okay.
*****
When he was a baby, he pee'd on me all the time. For some dumb reason, I never figured out that I was supposed to hold a diaper pad over his wee. I think the family let me change him for the laugh.
I guess it's better that he gets the fence than me.
It was when I was on my Instagram page (that I NEVER log in to since some dude I dated a long time ago was harassing me online).
That's another mini-heart attack.
It's a little creepy how much he resembles Sean.
It's a little bit too creepy.
****
It's been about twenty minutes since I took the aspirin. My head still aches and the left side of my chest still hurts.
I don't know.
Love ya,
S.
At 12:04 a.m., I found that my nephew has his own domain. Inappropriate message sent requesting gift ideas and contact information.
It's a new day for new solutions!
Hope today is a better day.