Skip to main content

Ex-husband's Antics Remind Me of His Stalking Days

Today I am thankful for eagle-eye neighbors.

It seems like everyone is home now that COVID19 is in town.  The kids are doing online classes and the nosy neighbors see everything.

I work in healthcare so I get to work long hours.  On the bright side, I have face masks.

I'm working a lot.

Enter visitation.

I get a call at work shortly after 4:00pm stating that my ex husband is sitting on my porch pouting.

I'm unable to see his expression through the camera but I finish with my patient and call home.

It appears that he showed up for his visit an hour early without warning.  The kids were doing their online class and unready to start the visit.

This concerns me - His bizzare behavior seems to be amping up.

Sometime in the past month, he hacked one of my store accounts and overrode my phone number with his phone number AND a phone number that we disconnected eight years ago.

I remedied this by getting a new account.

He sent me a snarky message last week wanting to switch his visitation times as he assumed the kids were not in school due to the Coronavirus scare.  I told him that they do indeed have classes and that they were studying at the time he wanted to visit with them.  The eldest has a class that ends at 5:00pm three times a week.

Today, I received a message from a neighbor stating that my ex-husband was hanging out on my porch an hour before his visitation was to begin.

He never contacted me.  A neighbor did.

Now, I'm getting scared.

I wonder what's going on?

I'd ask him -but- I really don't want to hear that I'm a bleepity, bleep lousy liar who made up stories of his family's harassment and stalking.

I'm terrified of him.

I'm terrified of his family.

I've learned it's best just to avoid talking to them.

If I have any advice to share it is that if you want money, favors, a home or anything from your ex, be nice.

If you attack her continuously, she'll stop helping you.

NEVER attack her in front of a family law judge.  That's a sure fire way to piss off the person who may just help you skate out of paying your arrearages.  The judge changed the order to force him to pay every dime.

I wasn't even asking for that.

Be nice.  You'll get more that way.

Love ya,

S.


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.  We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi
Read more

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor his financial
Read more

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out
Read more