Warped Gratitude Blog

Today I am thankful for intuition. Right now, I'm realizing that things are ramping up. In the past, whenever I wasn't perceived as a "good", "quiet", "subservient", "girl", I would up being stalked. Typically, the harassment begins in clusters.  Much of it is not illegal but the scary stuff is. In the past six months, my ex has decided to visit the kids (hooray), but used setting up the visits as a means to emotionally abuse me by calling me every name in the book and state that I'm lying about the stalking I've endured from his family since 1992 (boo), now, he's messing around with visitation times.  This I predicted.  I feared being open and allowing for frequent changes to the visitation times because it would eventually lead to a situation where we are waiting around for him to show up EVERY weekend (even those times and weeks he's unscheduled to visit). I've been a bit of a stick in the mud and ...

Today I am thankful that I'm sleeping, even if I am perplexed by the meaning of the dreams.  So...I keep seeing the name "Tom" in the remnants of candles that I burn. It makes me feel a little bit crazy and silly.  I've been trying to understand the meaning.  Now, that said, my first love's name is Thomas.  I was allowed to call him "Tom." I frequently have dreams of Tom.   The dreams tend to give me a sense of what he currently looks like.  Over the past eleven years, we've met a few times.  The dreams tend to give a heads up so I can prepare to meet with my old friend.  I dreamt of Tom again last night. I'll do my best to describe it. In this dream, I've packed up all of my belongings (my home and workplace are getting new carpet thus everything in my life is in storage....that's probably a reference to the changes occurring around me). The boxes are behind me as I enter a room full of patients ready to do...

So.... I'm thankful for documentation. Friday, May 31 at 3:32 pm (at Orchard and Parker) I drove past a man who looked my ex in an RTD mini-bus.  I thought I had to be mistaken because he doesn't work on Fridays.  That was the day my ex missed visitation. On Tuesday,  June 2nd at 3:35 pm, I had the same experience.  So I changed things up. I started taking a different route just in case.  I drove past the same driver on Parker Road (maybe 1 mile South of Arapahoe) at 3:41 p.m. yesterday. Now, it could just be a doppelganger of my ex.  I wouldn't know for sure unless I heard him speak. That said, My ex is seemingly being kind.  He's telling me that he's too poor to follow court orders or help pay medical and insurance expenses on the kids so I'm on my own.  He's also wanting to change up the visitation times but drops the issue when I talk about getting the changes he wants signed off my a judge to protect us both. He's being kind ...

After a day of doubting my perception, I am thankful for a news story that put it all in perspective.  The Aurora Cops are the monsters.  They give tickets willy nilly to shut up my complaining neighbors.  They lack a basic understanding of the psychology of motivation.  The complainers are getting results and it is only emboldening them to make asinine complaints.  Some of the tickets and threats of tickets I've endured are for LAWFUL activities.  This is what pisses the snot out of me.  Sadly, I'm not alone. ***** Meet Nancy.   She's my neighbor.  The idiotic cop had her ticketed for ringing a doorbell.  She has Alzheimer's.  She takes walks numerous times a day with the support of (most) of her neighbors.  I had no idea our cops were that money hungry. We cannot cite solicitors for ignoring no soliciting signs.  We cannot have them ticketed for trespassing. Why go after...

Today I am thankful for a hearty laugh and a reminder that a lack of participation in civics leads to Hell on Earth. Now, I have to roll up my sleeves and stop slacking. It is with a heavy heart, that I may have to call my city councilman or maybe do a stand-up routine mocking the local government. So.... Two years ago, a houseguest received a parking ticket for parking in front of my house.  It was wrongfully issued.  The city offered to rescind the ticket -but- the guest lost it. I paid up. Aurora has a law that, rightfully, states that one cannot park within five feet of a driveway.  My neighbor believes that his yard, filled entirely with rocks (which is a violation of city code) is a driveway.  As such, my neighbor had my houseguest ticketed for being within 5' of the property line. For some dumb reason, the cops agreed to it. Now, this neighbor has become a parking Nazi. If ANYONE parks in front of my house, they are treated to yelling...

The video exemplifies the current stage of my life. I get something.... which gets bigger and bigger and bigger until I am completely and utterly exhausted. I can't complain. My house is in shambles - but, I now have a working furnace, air conditioner (never had one before), a working fridge and a working dishwasher. This is awesome. But, on the flip side, I also have 50 boxes to unpack. **** I have my dream job (without the dream pay) but, on the flip side, I don't have as much time as I need to see hypnosis clients. ***** A neighborhood stray adopted us. We, in turn, adopted a stray dog that the cat is worried about. He's a miniature poodle mix who had a urinary hernia so he's been with us three days, on the couch, recuperating from his surgery. I'm shocked the dog and cat seem to be getting along. ***** I would have named the dog "Tom" as in the names that turn up in the candle wax (see previous post) -but- the dog ...

Today I am thankful for the prankster that is the universe.  So.... I rarely play with my witchy candles because of a certain word that seems to always show up in them. Well, it's more of a name. I decided that if I did a prosperity ritual enough, I may make enough money to excuse my ex, Michael, from supporting the kids (since he doesn't want to pay anything anyway). One kiddo was diagnosed with a possibly fatal illness (my doctor thinks it is hereditary and that it killed my sister-in-law).  I need to get the kids insured. She is twenty, so she doesn't qualify for CHP+, but her parents can put her on their insurance as per Federal Law. CO-PEP sent in a court filing condemning me from listing her as a household member when she turned nineteen because they claimed she was an adult.  She was in college.  She quit college over the issue: Now she's working trying to get health insurance. My ex refuses to help insure ANY of his kids and claims he can't affo...

Today I am reporting aspects of my family's strange life - as well as strange advice. Because I'm so busy trying to make money to pick up the financial slack, my writing has become sloppy.  My posts have become fewer and farer between. The first thing I am going to mention is that my ex is starting to become a "no-call, no show" with visitation.  This is part of the reason I fear that the stalking could be soon back on the horizon. Stalking is all about control. He shows up to things without a word and does not show up to things he's scheduled for. The kids told me yesterday that he's asking them to agree to visitation outside of the schedule without telling me. This is a huge RED flag.  I've asked him to tell my lawyer what his ideal visitation would look like.  I've asked for several years and he has NEVER answered that question.   There is one other consideration - that is that kids often pit their parents against one another.  Ther...