Today I am thankful for my positive attitude.
On Tuesday, as I was leaving my day job for a hypnosis appointment, my car broke down.
A colleague tried to come to my rescue and jump the battery.
It didn't work.
My client was kind enough to reschedule.
I wasn't worried even though I had no idea how I was going to get home.
I had no money as I'd given what I had to a homeless guy scrounging around a trash bin -
or so I thought.
After work, I walked to another office my employer owns. I visited with my author friend. He's on the public transportation board. I wanted to know how much bus fare was.
He told me. He tried to give me money.
I smiled and said no.
He'd had a bad day and was overjoyed to see my face. He had a medical emergency. I'm thankful he was okay.
I thought maybe that's why my car broke down. Maybe I was supposed to visit with my friend.
After visiting with him, I visited with someone else who was passed up for a promotion. I'm sure it's because her current boss can't stand the thought of losing her because she's very good at what she does. I didn't do much to reassure her.
The more I spoke to people, the more I wondered if there was something I was supposed to do.
I asked if I could charge my phone. I sat at the security desk for an hour trying to charge my phone.
My phone wasn't charged.
It wasn't charging either.
I waited and waited.
It dawned on me that I should dig through my book bag.
I found $2.75 in dimes and quarters.
This was two and a half hours after I left work.
I said good-bye to my workmates and started towards the Avenue.
I had no clue when the bus would come.
It showed up within minutes of my finding a bus stop.
The driver's name was Tom.
I must've looked like crap.
Tom told me how to get home. At the end of the route, while waiting for my next bus, he let me stay on the bus and we talked about teenage kiddos and college.
He looked like he had a bad day. With government employees, I fear leaving kudos for them. The city I live in tends to fine employees for stupid things.
I'd be afraid if I said something nice, the transportation board would can the man for talking to me and selling me on the idea of public transportation. I'll ask my friend before I open my mouth.
I don't know what he told the second driver. The second driver had arranged for a third bus to wait for me. That third bus dropped me off a block from home.
I made it home four hours after I left work.
My car was in a minor wreck the day before. The man called me several times that day reassuring me he'd fix my car.
I know he will. If not, I know I will. It's not a big deal.
****
The next day was stranger. I arranged to take the bus and found alternate travel arrangements for the kids.
I have a membership through Costco but I wasn't sure if it included Roadside Assistance. I tried to call Costco to see if I purchased their Executive Membership or the Business One. Everytime I called, I was given a choice to call back or have someone call me back the next day.
That wasn't going to help tow my car.
In desperation, I called the mechanic who bailed me out last summer. His name is Craig. Luckily, Craig knows a lot of tow truck drivers.
I wasted six hours trying to get ahold of Costco. Craig had a tow truck at my workplace in 20 minutes.
My boss let me leave early. The tow truck driver gave me a ride home.
All this time, I'm not feeling stressed out. I'm a struck by all the people I'm getting to meet. I'm happy my boss is kind and that I'm not working normal business hours.
My lawyer demanded $500 because he has to communicate with my ex. The communication doesn't help solve problems, my ex just writes to make excuses for ignoring the court orders. That is what is costing me an arm and a leg. It wouldn't bother me if he tried....actually...solving the problems.
Coming up with more money was a little stressful....but nothing I can't handle.
So far....nothing phased me.
*****
Today, it was the same thing. I woke up early to catch the bus. I met people who smoked, offered to help them quit. Worked nine hours and came home.
My mechanic was able to fix my car by noon. I paid over the phone and took four buses to pick it up.
I feel badly it was filthy.
Isn't that the way it goes?
Your car only breaks down when you don't want another human being inside of it!
None of this stressed me out.
It was an adventure.
The homeless guy.....
The guy in the wheelchair with the service dog.....
The smokers.....
The sad bus driver....
The nice bus drivers.....
The weird guy on work release who really should understand why you don't want to sag your pants near the prison....
The crazy work schedule......
Nothing.....
Nothing stressed me out.....
UNTIL
I checked my personal email.
I don't use the internet as much as I used to because of the stalking. I had to check my email to see what type of Costco Membership I bought.
I opened it and there was a scathing email from my ex-husband complaining that I cancelled his auto insurance because he couldn't log into the account online!
He sent that message two weeks ago.
Um....
He obviously didn't call the auto insurance company because I'm still being billed for his premium.
They won't stop billing me or reimburse me until he calls them, so I get the joy of paying two premiums until the plan ends in February.
That email ruined my serenity.
He won't visit the kids, honor the divorce decree, pay child support or whatever it is....
and he feels entitled to my paying his auto insurance.
He's lucky I didn't let the judge award me alimony when we divorced. The judge would have given it to me. I was certain I could manage without it.
This is really strange.
Getting away from the crap helps me see it for what it was.
My ex is self-entitled.
That's why my life got away from me. He was entitled to my time, energy and money. He still seems to feel that way.
That is what stressed me out.
I just can't let it get to me.
I guess this is all a learning experience.
It's strange what rattles me. I'm writing this hoping to come across some helpful tidbit or insight that will help someone else.
Maybe that insight is, it's hard to notice lurking shit when you've become acclimated to the smell.
Love ya lots,
S.
On Tuesday, as I was leaving my day job for a hypnosis appointment, my car broke down.
A colleague tried to come to my rescue and jump the battery.
It didn't work.
My client was kind enough to reschedule.
I wasn't worried even though I had no idea how I was going to get home.
I had no money as I'd given what I had to a homeless guy scrounging around a trash bin -
or so I thought.
After work, I walked to another office my employer owns. I visited with my author friend. He's on the public transportation board. I wanted to know how much bus fare was.
He told me. He tried to give me money.
I smiled and said no.
He'd had a bad day and was overjoyed to see my face. He had a medical emergency. I'm thankful he was okay.
I thought maybe that's why my car broke down. Maybe I was supposed to visit with my friend.
After visiting with him, I visited with someone else who was passed up for a promotion. I'm sure it's because her current boss can't stand the thought of losing her because she's very good at what she does. I didn't do much to reassure her.
The more I spoke to people, the more I wondered if there was something I was supposed to do.
I asked if I could charge my phone. I sat at the security desk for an hour trying to charge my phone.
My phone wasn't charged.
It wasn't charging either.
I waited and waited.
It dawned on me that I should dig through my book bag.
I found $2.75 in dimes and quarters.
This was two and a half hours after I left work.
I said good-bye to my workmates and started towards the Avenue.
I had no clue when the bus would come.
It showed up within minutes of my finding a bus stop.
The driver's name was Tom.
I must've looked like crap.
Tom told me how to get home. At the end of the route, while waiting for my next bus, he let me stay on the bus and we talked about teenage kiddos and college.
He looked like he had a bad day. With government employees, I fear leaving kudos for them. The city I live in tends to fine employees for stupid things.
I'd be afraid if I said something nice, the transportation board would can the man for talking to me and selling me on the idea of public transportation. I'll ask my friend before I open my mouth.
I don't know what he told the second driver. The second driver had arranged for a third bus to wait for me. That third bus dropped me off a block from home.
I made it home four hours after I left work.
My car was in a minor wreck the day before. The man called me several times that day reassuring me he'd fix my car.
I know he will. If not, I know I will. It's not a big deal.
****
The next day was stranger. I arranged to take the bus and found alternate travel arrangements for the kids.
I have a membership through Costco but I wasn't sure if it included Roadside Assistance. I tried to call Costco to see if I purchased their Executive Membership or the Business One. Everytime I called, I was given a choice to call back or have someone call me back the next day.
That wasn't going to help tow my car.
In desperation, I called the mechanic who bailed me out last summer. His name is Craig. Luckily, Craig knows a lot of tow truck drivers.
I wasted six hours trying to get ahold of Costco. Craig had a tow truck at my workplace in 20 minutes.
My boss let me leave early. The tow truck driver gave me a ride home.
All this time, I'm not feeling stressed out. I'm a struck by all the people I'm getting to meet. I'm happy my boss is kind and that I'm not working normal business hours.
My lawyer demanded $500 because he has to communicate with my ex. The communication doesn't help solve problems, my ex just writes to make excuses for ignoring the court orders. That is what is costing me an arm and a leg. It wouldn't bother me if he tried....actually...solving the problems.
Coming up with more money was a little stressful....but nothing I can't handle.
So far....nothing phased me.
*****
Today, it was the same thing. I woke up early to catch the bus. I met people who smoked, offered to help them quit. Worked nine hours and came home.
My mechanic was able to fix my car by noon. I paid over the phone and took four buses to pick it up.
I feel badly it was filthy.
Isn't that the way it goes?
Your car only breaks down when you don't want another human being inside of it!
None of this stressed me out.
It was an adventure.
The homeless guy.....
The guy in the wheelchair with the service dog.....
The smokers.....
The sad bus driver....
The nice bus drivers.....
The weird guy on work release who really should understand why you don't want to sag your pants near the prison....
The crazy work schedule......
Nothing.....
Nothing stressed me out.....
UNTIL
I checked my personal email.
I don't use the internet as much as I used to because of the stalking. I had to check my email to see what type of Costco Membership I bought.
I opened it and there was a scathing email from my ex-husband complaining that I cancelled his auto insurance because he couldn't log into the account online!
He sent that message two weeks ago.
Um....
He obviously didn't call the auto insurance company because I'm still being billed for his premium.
They won't stop billing me or reimburse me until he calls them, so I get the joy of paying two premiums until the plan ends in February.
That email ruined my serenity.
He won't visit the kids, honor the divorce decree, pay child support or whatever it is....
and he feels entitled to my paying his auto insurance.
He's lucky I didn't let the judge award me alimony when we divorced. The judge would have given it to me. I was certain I could manage without it.
This is really strange.
Getting away from the crap helps me see it for what it was.
My ex is self-entitled.
That's why my life got away from me. He was entitled to my time, energy and money. He still seems to feel that way.
That is what stressed me out.
I just can't let it get to me.
I guess this is all a learning experience.
It's strange what rattles me. I'm writing this hoping to come across some helpful tidbit or insight that will help someone else.
Maybe that insight is, it's hard to notice lurking shit when you've become acclimated to the smell.
Love ya lots,
S.