Skip to main content

Crap My Ex Says

Today I am thankful that my ex betrays the crap he pulls.

I used to think he was joking when he said things like:

"I knocked you up so you couldn't leave."

-or-

"There is a camera in the ceiling fan above your bed."

Now, I'm thinking that these are warnings.

Today I showed him that half of my computer keyboard was completely clean.  There was no food lodged between the keys on the side that was damaged.

Someone was inside of my computer.

His response

"If I put spyware on your computer, you'd never find it."

I'm pissed off.

*****

Around 1:00 a.m., I heard the sound of the water being turned on in the front yard.  This time, I was too afraid to go outside and check. 

I'm not sure someone was out there.

I heard it again at 9:30 a.m.  I went outside and no one was there nor is there any water on the ground.

I'm thinking something else must be making that sound. 

Last time, I found ashes and water in front of my house.  The hose had been cut. 

This time......nothing.

******

Maybe the cops are right.

Maybe he is just trying to mess with my head.

I asked him when he will move out.

He won't answer

except to say that he doesn't know what to do.

It's been over two and a half years since he was supposed to move out of the house.  It seems like he's become a hard luck case since that day.  At first he wanted to stay so he could have bariatric surgery.  He never did.  Then he allegedly fell out of the back of a semi and broke his hand.  He eventually heeled.  Then he was traveling and didn't want to move out until he had time to find a place of his own. 

I started talking to lawyers.  I had a call from someone pretending to be one of the lawyer's secretaries.  She listened and told me they could not help me.

Michael lost his job the very next day.

A week later, the lawyer's real secretary had called apologizing that no one from the office could get back to me sooner. 

I think Michael hacked my phone and computer.

For some reason, I never get emails from the lawyers. 

This is why I have the new phone and computer coming. 

******

I shared these incidents with a therapist who specializes in helping victims of domestic violence.  Her take?  This is what abusers do.  They have crisis after crisis hoping you'll take care of them and let them get a foothold on your life.

That's what happened. 

******
I smell him everywhere.

It's not a nice smell.

It's somewhere between the smell of dirty behind and oily hair

That smell is permeating my clothes, the furniture and even the food. 

I need to move out. 

I thought having his family stalk me was the only way he could go wherever I went.  No....I smell him constantly. 

This is too weird.

It really is. 

Stay safe and sane out there,

S.

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Realizations

Today I am thankful for realizations.   Michael handed me a note promising me the house, the 401K and custody of the kids.  I told him to come up with something a little more fair towards himself. He started crying because he doesn't want a divorce.  I'm all he lives for. He hasn't touched me in six years and I'm what he wants. Yeah...right!! I am so flippin' pissed! I knew it!! I knew it!!! The games...the stalking...the lying...the bullshit...the threats to kill himself.... it is all designed to keep me here. I still don't get the stalking shit.  He claims it's his sister and he can't keep me safe from her.  He can't help but tell them how to find me, so he tells me that I will never be safe so long as I am married to him. The cops say he's the stalker and that I'll never be safe until he moves on to another woman. I'm confused. I'm seriously thinking that the only way to stay safe is to move far away....

Recognizing Psychological Abuse

Today I am thankful that I recognize relationship abuse.   I'm still sad. I thought Steve would be different.  For all the talk about anarchy and freedom, it simply didn't exist in our relationship.  I blamed the fact that I couldn't get my ex-husband to move on.  I blamed myself. It doesn't matter.  It is weird having my ex-husband explain to me how he took control of our relationship years ago.  Yes, he says that he knows what he did.  Yes, he said most men know the games they play.  Yes, most men do it for control. That is validating.  It's painful.  It's validating.  I know what my problems are.  I always do my best to see the best in other people.  I know that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes.  My issue?  Well, I am too forgiving and I feel badly when I break up with someone for hurting me.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I couldn't.  I'm st...