What I Play When I'm Pissed

Today I am thankful for my Vintage Peavey T-40.

Well....I tore my nails up.

I don't play as well as I used to play.

As a teen, this was my go to stress relief song. In college, I got offers to play lead guitar in bands because I was fast...but I'm not a guitar player. I play bass because I want to feel the music.

I'm old now. It's a bad sign when you put down your bass because building an app would be less frustrating. Yes, I'm trying to build an app. I just can't figure out what to give people; free hypnosis recordings? Coupons?

When I know, I'll build it. I'll probably get 2/3s of the way through it and wind up paying someone to fix it for me.

That's how I roll. I'm weird that way.

I fall in love with basses more than men.

I feel in love two weeks ago. It was hard to walk away from this hottie.

So...the next time I do something seemingly impossible, I'll splurge on bass lessons.

There is one silver lining to being stalked for so long. Dealing with other issues seems incredibly easy. Nothing scares me outside of the stalking....nothing.

Love ya lots,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Time and Trauma

Today I am thankful for stories; they are often the easiest teaching tool. The other day I had an interesting conversation with a social worker. She complained that one of her patients was stuck at a certain year - let's say... 2008. This man talks about 2008 constantly. He shares photos of 2008 and letters of 2008. I asked her, what happened that year? Well, three members of his family died. His best friend died in front of his eyes. His spouse died. He lost his home. The man was wealthy. Sadly, the evil eye is real. Covetousness is real. The U.S. justice system enables abusive lawyers to swoop in and take control of the wealth of well-to-do elders. There were fights over his assets**. The lawyers threw him out of his numerous homes. The man was then homeless while everything went through probate and the relatives fought over the estate. His wealth ...

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

Today I am thankful for a laugh. It didn't start out funny. My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer. My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent. I pointed at the shed. "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked. "Yes.", she replied. "That happens all the time!" She advised me to chain the door. I've done that. The thief just tears the roof off. It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants. Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess. My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me. I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years. Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...

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