The Secret to Smiles in Shitty Times

Today I am thankful for goats in pajamas for they are the secret to smiling during crappy times.

How can you not smile?

Aren't they cute?

I have a career coach who shows pictures of her baby goats when I'm happing a shitty day....

Stalker follows me...

baby goats.

I start crying....

baby goats.

I spy lots of baby goats.

At least I'm smiling.

What I need is a horse. Horses will eat anything. It would be funny to have one go after the stalker's car.

Horses eat anything. I've actually seen one munch the side mirrors of a a candy apple red Camaro.

Maybe I'll start saving my money for a pet.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Recognizing Psychological Abuse

Today I am thankful that I recognize relationship abuse. I'm still sad. I thought Steve would be different. For all the talk about anarchy and freedom, it simply didn't exist in our relationship. I blamed the fact that I couldn't get my ex-husband to move on. I blamed myself. It doesn't matter. It is weird having my ex-husband explain to me how he took control of our relationship years ago. Yes, he says that he knows what he did. Yes, he said most men know the games they play. Yes, most men do it for control. That is validating. It's painful. It's validating. I know what my problems are. I always do my best to see the best in other people. I know that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. My issue? Well, I am too forgiving and I feel badly when I break up with someone for hurting me. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't. I'm st...

Realizations

Today I am thankful for realizations. Michael handed me a note promising me the house, the 401K and custody of the kids. I told him to come up with something a little more fair towards himself. He started crying because he doesn't want a divorce. I'm all he lives for. He hasn't touched me in six years and I'm what he wants. Yeah...right!! I am so flippin' pissed! I knew it!! I knew it!!! The games...the stalking...the lying...the bullshit...the threats to kill himself.... it is all designed to keep me here. I still don't get the stalking shit. He claims it's his sister and he can't keep me safe from her. He can't help but tell them how to find me, so he tells me that I will never be safe so long as I am married to him. The cops say he's the stalker and that I'll never be safe until he moves on to another woman. I'm confused. I'm seriously thinking that the only way to stay safe is to move far away....

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