Warped Gratitude Blog

I really like one line in this song. You know I'm not gon diss you on the internet Cause my mama taught me better than that I know that people will say that an anonymous blog is dissing Steve and Shannon -but- it sure beats the stuff they do in real life.  They name me.  They diss me in public.  There are times when I wonder how their behavior makes their mothers feel.  Part of me hopes that Steve gets real help from a licensed therapist who specializes in DBT.  On some level, I feel that if I put it out in the universe enough, it'll happen for him.   Today I am thankful for the miracle of peace.   It is a peaceful feeling knowing that I don't have to cow down to demanding people anymore.  It is nice.  I've actually been getting about seven hours of sleep a night.  Most of the house is clean as I have one less person to pick up after.  The basement is still a mess but I'm tackling that slowly.  ...

Today I am thankful that I realized why dysfunctional people bother me so darn much: They feel entitled to respect despite their disrespectful behavior towards others. By dysfunctional, I mean people with cluster B personality disorders.  By Cluster B, I mean people who present with no empathy - these are the histrionics, the narcissists, the antisocials, and the borderlines.  A few months ago, I wrote that the hallmark of  most Cluster B personality disorders is the demand for respect yet the refusal to reciprocate.  In other words, they expect respect but they refuse to show it.  They have a tremendous sense of entitlement, they deserve your respect, your time and your attention yet they feel no need to respect your time or your energy.  If YOU do not give them the respect they feel they deserve, if you do NOT cave to their demand for respect, they often will punish you in some way.  These are people like...

Today I am thankful for recognizing boundary violations. A little history (okay, a lot of history):    I am realizing that the stalking has ruined my sense of boundaries. It started in mid-January 1992.  It started with phone calls.  Then....a woman....could call to tell me who I spent the evening with.  I was a prude.  I usually spent the evenings with either a bass guitar instructor or my Spanish tutor. Both were hot.  I was not.  I think I was too busy swooning because neither my bass prowess nor my Español improved. ***** Then, a woman, started calling my landlady with stories that I was having sex in the parking lot. My landlady knew I was prude: We spent a lot of time together poolside.  I typically dressed like a female swimmer at the turn of the century... by that...I mean I dressed circa 1900. My landlady didn't believe her. She wanted the phone calls to stop.  They didn'...

Today I am thankful for neon goldfish. I was so busy crying over the fool's goldfish that I didn't realize that they came in other colors. I forgot that there were fish who were so busy managing their own business that they leave yours alone.  That's what I want.  Someone too busy to try to control me.  He can swim with me.  He can frolic in the waters.  Wow.....   I guess it's time to get out there and see the other fish in the pond. It is time to become a  pescetarian.  Yum.... I guess I am used to puffer fish.  The kind that puff themselves up to be something they are not.  They pretend to have done things that they didn't do and then they criticize you because you have actually done things in your life.  Steve would call me a liar when I spoke about my political adventures.  You know?  He's an IT guy.  All he has to do is go to Google.  If he ever made it to my bedroo...

Today I am thankful that some creepers are awfully dumb..... okay, they can be.....  just awful.   It would seem that the craziness has moved away from Facebook and to other social networking websites.  The worst appears to be LinkedIn. Not too long about I got a contact request from some guy named LuvUBy Earnest.   Seriously?  This morning, on another social network, a request came in from M. AboutALuv Maybe the law they past years ago which stated that parents couldn't leave the hospital without naming their babies has backfired horridly.  Maybe mothers are so drugged up when they sign those birth certificates that the kids get saddled with funky monikers that sound like a good idea when Mommy is doped up on Percocet. It could also be that someone is effing with me. I don't know. ******Updates****** I am finally at peace.  Michael is gone. He's in Portland and complaining a...

I never thought I would say this, ever...... here goes.... okay.... {{{ big breath in }}}..... today I am thankful for my ex-husband's stalker skills. It only took him three minutes.  Three minutes.... My ex-husband found the home in Arlington where my grandchild was presumably taken.  Her father's real name is Jose but on Facebook he is m3nage.a.trois .  Using a Google search, that user name connects to a guy named A.J.   On Google+, A.J. posted a picture of my grandchild on a rose and ribbon printed pillowcase that I had bought for her mother several years ago. Looking through his contact list, A.J. has a brother named Hans.  Hans and A.J. have a sister named Melissa and a father named Ignacio.  They share the same address.  According to tax records, the house is owned by Ignacio.  Ignacio lives at 20*1 Edgehill **.  I have a phone number, too. So..... it's time ...

Today I am thankful that I realized why I vomit when I think of my missing granddaughter. I've had trouble holding down food since August.  Now, after visiting the doctor, I understand that there was a medical condition that was causing it.  That was resolved in October in the saddest way possible.  It was resolved.  The vomiting began again in November, after my daughter started talking about her kiddo being with her dad.  Now, at first, I didn't really blink about it.  I was worried about the little girl because of the craziness of her family life, the violence in the home, and the threats of her father to take her to live with his undocumented alien parents in Dallas. I didn't know that her dad had followed through with his threat and taken her out of state.  I figured that he was just having some type of daily daddy time.  The more evasive my daughter became about their daughter's whereabouts, the more...