Today I am thankful for insight.
I think I understand the problem of CO-PEP and other government run social service programs.....
they're automated!
They've gotten rid of caseworkers....you know, the people you can actually talk to, who are supposed to understand family situations....the kind who are supposed to pay attention and make decisions. The people we can share paperwork regarding fraud with.
Now, everything is automated.
Machines make the decisions. Case workers have been replaced by call center staff who tell the people who they are supposed to represent to hire attorneys they cannot afford.
I get it now.
My ex is a covert narcissist. They are very good at making themselves out to be victims. They only provide as much information as they can to paint a picture.
He's convinced everyone that he can only make $12 an hour based on a call center job he held for a few weeks. He's passed himself off as homeless and has been put in a shelter where he is forbidden from working for a period of 8-27 months.
The taxpayers are paying for his three attorneys. They sued me to get him out of having to pay child support or provide medical insurance on the kids.
I can't expect help now that he is forbidden from working, I'm SOL as they say.
I just can't believe that the Arapahoe County Social Service department sued me to keep him from paying child support.
I'm a social researcher at heart.
I've been reading....I think I see the problem.
There is NO ONE that I can give details to - there is NO ONE who will pay attention.
I can send paperwork but they'll ignore it.
Automation prevents accountability. There is NO ONE acting as a case manager. The responsibility is diffused.
NO ONE is accountable. This is how the bs continues.
This guy won because he's manipulative. I'm out of money. There is NO ONE I can share paperwork with who cares enough to pay attention.
The only thing I can pray for is the defunding of CO-PEP so other single moms don't find themselves in my situation.
*****
At this point, I have made a conscious decision to fight each and every social program that comes up until the Department of Human Services can start paying attention and weed out the manipulative folk from the truly down and out.
A man who turns down a $50,000 job and goes into a voluntary living arrangement where he is forbidden from working is not needy. A man who is trying to find a job and submits, say five or more resumes a week, may be needy.
The first man may have more time on his hands to convince someone he's poor. The second man may be too busy trying to find a job to hound the people working the front desk of the human services department.
If the Department of Human Services cannot weed out a manipulative man from a truly poor man, I seriously don't trust them to house the homeless.
My fear is that only manipulative people will be able to take advantage of the programs.
I'm not going to support funding shelters any more. I'm sad to say it -but- it seems like other social programs. The people who need the help get locked out in favor of the manipulative deadbeats.
That is what happened to the kids and I. The program tasked with helping single mothers collect child support sued me to help prevent my ex from paying it.
Sigh....
I think the problem could very well be automation. My ex looks poor on paper.
I have so many jobs that I must look wealthy.
*****
I wasn't upset with CO-PEP until the court filing where they chastised me for supporting our nineteen year old daughter in college.
I mean....I don't understand their line of reasoning.
My ex is 50. He is a tax auditor and accountant who makes between $45,000 - $50,000 a year (which I hear is his version of underemployed....a career coach stated that he should be earning around $90,000).
Based on what I'm seeing from CO-PEP, he is dirt poor and deserves being supported by the State of Colorado. They wrote that they are buying his clothes -but- weeks later, he'll ask me to help pay for his storage facility.
Someone is lying.
Our daughter is 19 and has no job skills but, according to the State of Colorado, she doesn't deserve support. I am not supposed to support her.
I don't get it.
I really don't. My ex could pay the child support he owes me over the past six years. Some of that was due when she was a minor. He could pay that to me and I'll support her with that.
Of course, he'll never pay because Colorado taxpayers are paying for his lawyers.
I seek to put an end to that.
I want to know why the State of Colorado will put the needs of a deadbeat over the needs of a young person.
I don't want to hear of another single mother enduring this bs.
I'm being chewed out for my lack of compassion. Where is the State of Colorado's compassion for the kids? I just filed my taxes. I'm working numerous part-time jobs just to get by.
I had three w-2s and two 1099s.
This means that I've held three part time jobs and two side gigs. I made a grand total of $31,000 before business expenses were taken out of the figure.
Remember...I spent $4,000 in legal fees trying to understand this CO-PEP debacle. I supported three children (not including the two homeless teenagers I took in) and myself on $26,000 in 2018.
All I know is that the government is irresponsible and they often give credence to the wrong people. I don't trust them with taxpayer dollars.
I'll tell you a little secret.
Right now, I am so broke that we do not have a working stove. I can live without a dryer. I can live without a dishwasher or a freezer. I can live with a leaky sink and a toilet that needs a new wax ring. I can live with broken gutters and mold on the walls of the room my ex-husband destroyed.
I don't know what to do without a stove.
We used to use that to stay warm in the winter.
I hear it will hit zero tonight.
I guess it's okay. I am supposed to feel sorry for my ex.
*****
Another disturbing theme I am seeing is the liberal claim that mental illness is the problem creating crime.
They go on to state, erroneously, that anyone who commits a crime is mentally ill. They often claim people with personality disorders are mentally ill.
Well...not exactly.
Personality disorders are behavior choices. They can be hard to extinguish in the Cluster B categories (histrionic, borderline, narcissistic and anti-social) because people have learned that they can get what they want by acting like jackasses. Why change something that gives you all the control you want?
The liberals I know think that people mentally ill and having a personality disorder should excuse crime.
That is not case law. I really wish they'd do some research prior to spouting off.
I am, quite literally, being told that my ex should be excused from child support because he was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Um....no.
The personality disorder is the reason he feels entitled to free stuff form the government at the expense of every one else. Why in the heck should we give into him? We'll just re-enforce the bad behavior.
Depression happens in narcissists who lose control of their supply due to their arrogance and asshole-ery. When people realize that they don't have to put up with crap, they leave the narcissist. Narcissists can get depressed if they don't secure new supply right away. When that happens the depression is Co-Morbid to the personality disorder. Depression is a mental illness -but- I've never heard of an 8-27 month inpatient rehabilitation for depressed people (narcissists or otherwise) or even alcoholics.
The question the liberals should ask themselves is this....would a single mom be eligible for TANF or food stamps if she refused to work because she was depressed or an alcoholic?
The answer would be no.
Just try to get a battered woman a government funded lawyer under any circumstance (it doesn't happen). A guy wanting to escape child support - sure, the State of Colorado has your back if you want to voluntarily impoverish yourself.
Why is it different for deadbeat dads?
Would a bank robber get away with his crime if he had Antisocial Personality Disorder (which a crook may well have)?
The answer would be no.
Why should it be the same for men who would otherwise face a felony charge for failure to honor a divorce agreement and theft?
Something is wrong with this picture.
As a society, we need to be more discerning about the people we coddle.
I'm disgusted because someone who may never have made more than $40,000 a year in his life -or may have been on the streets for years was displaced so my ex could get into a program intended for those who have no job prospects in the foreseeable future. I still get phone calls from recruiters for my ex.
It's sad. It really is.
Love ya lots,
S.
I think I understand the problem of CO-PEP and other government run social service programs.....
they're automated!
They've gotten rid of caseworkers....you know, the people you can actually talk to, who are supposed to understand family situations....the kind who are supposed to pay attention and make decisions. The people we can share paperwork regarding fraud with.
Now, everything is automated.
Machines make the decisions. Case workers have been replaced by call center staff who tell the people who they are supposed to represent to hire attorneys they cannot afford.
I get it now.
My ex is a covert narcissist. They are very good at making themselves out to be victims. They only provide as much information as they can to paint a picture.
He's convinced everyone that he can only make $12 an hour based on a call center job he held for a few weeks. He's passed himself off as homeless and has been put in a shelter where he is forbidden from working for a period of 8-27 months.
The taxpayers are paying for his three attorneys. They sued me to get him out of having to pay child support or provide medical insurance on the kids.
I can't expect help now that he is forbidden from working, I'm SOL as they say.
I just can't believe that the Arapahoe County Social Service department sued me to keep him from paying child support.
I'm a social researcher at heart.
I've been reading....I think I see the problem.
There is NO ONE that I can give details to - there is NO ONE who will pay attention.
I can send paperwork but they'll ignore it.
Automation prevents accountability. There is NO ONE acting as a case manager. The responsibility is diffused.
NO ONE is accountable. This is how the bs continues.
This guy won because he's manipulative. I'm out of money. There is NO ONE I can share paperwork with who cares enough to pay attention.
The only thing I can pray for is the defunding of CO-PEP so other single moms don't find themselves in my situation.
*****
At this point, I have made a conscious decision to fight each and every social program that comes up until the Department of Human Services can start paying attention and weed out the manipulative folk from the truly down and out.
A man who turns down a $50,000 job and goes into a voluntary living arrangement where he is forbidden from working is not needy. A man who is trying to find a job and submits, say five or more resumes a week, may be needy.
The first man may have more time on his hands to convince someone he's poor. The second man may be too busy trying to find a job to hound the people working the front desk of the human services department.
If the Department of Human Services cannot weed out a manipulative man from a truly poor man, I seriously don't trust them to house the homeless.
My fear is that only manipulative people will be able to take advantage of the programs.
I'm not going to support funding shelters any more. I'm sad to say it -but- it seems like other social programs. The people who need the help get locked out in favor of the manipulative deadbeats.
That is what happened to the kids and I. The program tasked with helping single mothers collect child support sued me to help prevent my ex from paying it.
Sigh....
I think the problem could very well be automation. My ex looks poor on paper.
I have so many jobs that I must look wealthy.
*****
I wasn't upset with CO-PEP until the court filing where they chastised me for supporting our nineteen year old daughter in college.
I mean....I don't understand their line of reasoning.
My ex is 50. He is a tax auditor and accountant who makes between $45,000 - $50,000 a year (which I hear is his version of underemployed....a career coach stated that he should be earning around $90,000).
Based on what I'm seeing from CO-PEP, he is dirt poor and deserves being supported by the State of Colorado. They wrote that they are buying his clothes -but- weeks later, he'll ask me to help pay for his storage facility.
Someone is lying.
Our daughter is 19 and has no job skills but, according to the State of Colorado, she doesn't deserve support. I am not supposed to support her.
I don't get it.
I really don't. My ex could pay the child support he owes me over the past six years. Some of that was due when she was a minor. He could pay that to me and I'll support her with that.
Of course, he'll never pay because Colorado taxpayers are paying for his lawyers.
I seek to put an end to that.
I want to know why the State of Colorado will put the needs of a deadbeat over the needs of a young person.
I don't want to hear of another single mother enduring this bs.
I'm being chewed out for my lack of compassion. Where is the State of Colorado's compassion for the kids? I just filed my taxes. I'm working numerous part-time jobs just to get by.
I had three w-2s and two 1099s.
This means that I've held three part time jobs and two side gigs. I made a grand total of $31,000 before business expenses were taken out of the figure.
Remember...I spent $4,000 in legal fees trying to understand this CO-PEP debacle. I supported three children (not including the two homeless teenagers I took in) and myself on $26,000 in 2018.
All I know is that the government is irresponsible and they often give credence to the wrong people. I don't trust them with taxpayer dollars.
I'll tell you a little secret.
Right now, I am so broke that we do not have a working stove. I can live without a dryer. I can live without a dishwasher or a freezer. I can live with a leaky sink and a toilet that needs a new wax ring. I can live with broken gutters and mold on the walls of the room my ex-husband destroyed.
I don't know what to do without a stove.
We used to use that to stay warm in the winter.
I hear it will hit zero tonight.
I guess it's okay. I am supposed to feel sorry for my ex.
*****
Another disturbing theme I am seeing is the liberal claim that mental illness is the problem creating crime.
They go on to state, erroneously, that anyone who commits a crime is mentally ill. They often claim people with personality disorders are mentally ill.
Well...not exactly.
Personality disorders are behavior choices. They can be hard to extinguish in the Cluster B categories (histrionic, borderline, narcissistic and anti-social) because people have learned that they can get what they want by acting like jackasses. Why change something that gives you all the control you want?
The liberals I know think that people mentally ill and having a personality disorder should excuse crime.
That is not case law. I really wish they'd do some research prior to spouting off.
I am, quite literally, being told that my ex should be excused from child support because he was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Um....no.
The personality disorder is the reason he feels entitled to free stuff form the government at the expense of every one else. Why in the heck should we give into him? We'll just re-enforce the bad behavior.
Depression happens in narcissists who lose control of their supply due to their arrogance and asshole-ery. When people realize that they don't have to put up with crap, they leave the narcissist. Narcissists can get depressed if they don't secure new supply right away. When that happens the depression is Co-Morbid to the personality disorder. Depression is a mental illness -but- I've never heard of an 8-27 month inpatient rehabilitation for depressed people (narcissists or otherwise) or even alcoholics.
The question the liberals should ask themselves is this....would a single mom be eligible for TANF or food stamps if she refused to work because she was depressed or an alcoholic?
The answer would be no.
Just try to get a battered woman a government funded lawyer under any circumstance (it doesn't happen). A guy wanting to escape child support - sure, the State of Colorado has your back if you want to voluntarily impoverish yourself.
Why is it different for deadbeat dads?
Would a bank robber get away with his crime if he had Antisocial Personality Disorder (which a crook may well have)?
The answer would be no.
Why should it be the same for men who would otherwise face a felony charge for failure to honor a divorce agreement and theft?
Something is wrong with this picture.
As a society, we need to be more discerning about the people we coddle.
I'm disgusted because someone who may never have made more than $40,000 a year in his life -or may have been on the streets for years was displaced so my ex could get into a program intended for those who have no job prospects in the foreseeable future. I still get phone calls from recruiters for my ex.
It's sad. It really is.
Love ya lots,
S.