Today I am thankful that I'm reminded why I need to get back to being me.
They say change comes about in three incidents.
Over the past five years, I have gained about forty pounds and four dress sizes. This happened when I gave up vegetarianism due to the discovery of my allergies: I can't eat soy, wheat, peanuts, eggs, shellfish, bananas, peaches and many other things.
Someone told me about Jackfruit. They said I could cook with it in a similar fashion to tofu.
I was excited and ran to my favorite Asian Market in Aurora. I love the people in this city because they are so friendly. I had so many questions about the food, a kind young woman gave me a lesson on how to pick it out. I picked out a beautiful one!.
Then I learned that the little threads that surround the meat contain latex. She helped me so much, I had to buy it. I couldn't put it back.
I am deathly allergic to latex. Even though I bought a Jackfruit for the children but I cannot touch it without going into anaphylactic shock.
I'm very sad.
I'm going to have to subsist on whey protein powder, aren't I?
I can't live on beans and keep friends.
I moved to this city because the people are so friendly. In fact, years ago, I told my story to a reporter and she did a little story about it. I was involved in a hit and run. That wreck destroyed my lower back and I lost 1/4" in height due to the injury. I pulled over and cried until I could get my strength to drive to the nearest police station. It turned out that a few people who witnessed the accident reported the details to the police for me. They were looking for me.
People were so kind, I bought a house.
I feel compelled to protect them.
I am realizing that I completed the protection ritual for the wrong segment of society. I cast it for the police and fire department. I need to cast it for the civilians within city limits.
*******
I awoke this morning to horrible news.
The police shot a man a few blocks from my home during a traffic stop last night. The vehicle he drove looks very similar to the one I gave my ex after our divorce. The shooting appears to have taken place across the street from the high school.
I went by the area looking for bullet holes. I think I found one in a fence.
I saw nine bullet holes in the mini-van. My neighbors said they heard about 9-10 shots.
I want to know why police officers are trained to think that this is 1925 Chicago.
Ten Colorado police officers have been shot so far this year: We've lost three police officers!
Why the bloodbath?
I'm angry.
The spokesperson for the police department won't say why the man was shot. To me, that's a red flag. When the shootings are justified, the excuse comes out immediately.
Someone, most likely made a mistake.
I want this to be the last mistake.
This city just passed a law allowing police officers to pull people over for smoking in their vehicle with children present. I saw the bullet holes in the van and wondered.....will this ever happen with kids present?
We have too many laws allowing motorists to be pulled over for silly things. We need to limit these traffic stops to things that endanger others. Traffic stops are dangerous. We're endangering too many people - cops and citizens alike.
What can I do?
Do I research the sheer number of military veterans we hire for the force? Do they need PTSD therapy? They seem to be awfully quick on the trigger. I know we hire many war veterans for our police force.
Is there a connection?
I want to understand why this is happening.
Something is up.
Where does one start to research this?
This has to stop.
No more!
Don't get me started on the Fourth Amendment violations that people of color face. Some segments of society have a higher rate of death to due police officer mistakes than others.
******
I made the mistake of looking over my Facebook feed.
Female politicians, who I respect despite their differing political views.....were suggesting that male politicians of differing opinions step down because they allegedly pinched their butts or sexually harassed them.
When I asked for evidence, I was told of a completed investigation but offered nothing concrete.
After a few minutes of reflection, it dawned on me that this was simply a political ploy. Both of my state representatives are women in the Democratic party. They are calling for the resignation of these men who are, for the most part, conservatives.
Some of these men have actually tried to help domestic violence victims. They are typically the only ones who answer my queries.
These women ignore me or scoff at me.
When I've told them that police don't take stalking reports, they don't care.
They don't care that domestic abusers often find excuses to avoid child support. They don't care that the State of Colorado has a program that actually helps abusers continue the financial abuse (even in cases where the woman was forbidden to work during the long-term marriage).
When I told them that they need to make it easier for domestic violence and stalking victims to protect themselves, they scoffed. They want to make it harder for domestic violence victims (and everyone else) to get guns and ammo.
It hit me.....they don't care about violence against women. All they care about is power. They going to use butt grabbing to get rid of the competition by shaming these guys into resigning.
They don't care about the real dangers facing their constituents. I don't like being grabbed either but when my stalkerish ex's brother in-law grabs me, somehow it's okay (well....at least according to the police who refuse to investigate and the politicians who don't want me to protect myself).
Maybe some women are worth being heard and others are worth being ignored. Perhaps politicians consider themselves in the former category and sadly, I am in the latter.
I hope they unfriended me on Facebook after I pointed that out. I don't want to read their crap anymore.
Violence against women is often more than just butt grabbing; it is rape, it is domestic violence and yeah....it is stalking. What makes butt grabbing more important than being stalked, beaten and/or raped?
As frustrated as I am with these insight lacking women.....I am thankful for the lesson.
I realize that I need to get back into activism.
******
An older Pagan lady explained weight gain to me. Weight gain is negative energy. It is energy that is allowed to accumulate through depression, sadness and apathy.
Her take on it...well, if I start doing the things I want to do, the weight will fall off again.
I guess it's time to jump back into the fray.
Love ya,
S.
Edit Two Days Later:
The police department put up a press conference on YouTube. I care barely hear it so I'm not sure exactly what they are saying. It sounds like someone called in a complaint on a vehicle that looked similar to this one a couple of days prior to the shooting claiming that the driver brandished a gun.
The comments make it sound like the driver brandished a gun at the officer on another day right before he was shot.
One of the saddest things about these types of murders is that ...well....dead people cannot defend themselves.
I did find this snippet online. Still....I think it will take unaltered body cam footage to explain the situation.
https://www.auroragov.org/blog/One.aspx?portalId=2869361&postId=12425008&portletAction=viewpost
Whether or not this shooting is justified, I still think we have too many laws. More laws mean more traffic stops. More traffic stops often means more death.
I really don't think young men and women become police officers to "serve and collect." That must be their purpose. We've already seen that the police departments are not legally mandated to protect anyone.
Sad....but true. We had a teaching moment in Castle Rock back in 2005.
https://www.aclu.org/cases/castle-rock-v-gonzales
Seriously......
Here is the real reason I am angry. The story below is one that shakes one's trust. It exposes the kind of crap that makes the force look bad. This guy....well...he was a supervisor!! His behavior was completely unjustified.
https://www.denverpost.com/2016/09/09/aurora-police-taser-aclu-colorado/
https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/aurora-to-pay-110k-to-black-man-tased-arrested-last-year-who-had-charges-dropped
I wonder how much these types of incidents are leading to the distrust of police officers?
The government is not infallible.
The people must be vigilant.
Government officials must be accountable.
If I had a dollar every time I wondered "what are we paying for?"
....well....
I'd be incredibly wealthy.
Love ya,
S.
even later.....
darn it...another death. This time it was a police officer in Chicago.
details are sketchy.
This has got to stop.
Who is researching the reason for this?
Sigh....
ALL LIVES MATTER!
EVERY.....
SINGLE....
ONE.