Skip to main content

I've Had Enough


 
Today I am thankful for the sensation of being too tired to care anymore.
 
 
Michael has been out of town.
 
I bought snacks for him and his traveling companion.
 
 
I've been driving the mini-van I've just signed over to him.  It's driving a little bit funny.  It turns out that the radiator is damaged on the side the Centurylink driver hit when backing into the van.
 
 
At 216,000 miles, it needs a new radiator.
 
 
I have babied this van.  I know it like the back of my hand.
 
 
At 1/4 tank of fuel, the engine makes a strange sound when it revs up. You can't let it go beneath a quarter of a tank without putting too much stress on the gas pump.
 
I miss my van.
 
I found another at a local dealership.  It's a slightly never model with 96,000 original miles.  They want $3,000 for it.  If my mechanic says its a good deal, I'll buy it. 
 
I've been driving my old baby home. 
 
The stalking has made me paranoid.  I double check locks and doors several times a night.
 
Last night, I made sure the garage door was closed when I arrived home.  I checked it again two hours later.
 
It was closed.
 
When I awoke it was open. 
 
Upon discovering it open, I thought maybe something was keeping it from staying closed. 

 I closed it again.
 
It stayed closed.
 
I'VE HAD ENOUGH. 
 
Someone is trying to mess with my head.
 
I'm tired of changing locks and garage door codes.
 
I'm sick of it.
 
Michael claims it's not him.
 
He swears up and down it's his family.
 
Here's the thing....
 
he won't deal with his family.
 
He won't help me solve the problem.
 
As far as I'm concerned, he's just as guilty as they are.
 
I am posting the eviction notice tonight.
 
IF YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF ISSUES CAUSED BY PEOPLE AFFILIATED WITH YOU, YOU ARE GUILTY OF COVERT APPROVAL.
 
I can't figure out what the hell is going on.
 
I just want to get away from it.
 
This is exhausting.
 
Other people need to deal with their own problems -not create more problems in my life.
 
This will be over with soon.
 
Love ya,

S.
 
 
 
 


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.  We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi
Read more

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor his financial
Read more

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out
Read more