Warped Gratitude Blog

  Today I am thankful that a blast from the past ex-boyfriend is no longer dying in my dreams.  Nope -  this is a good thing.  For the past week or so,  I've been dreaming that I get impaled in my car and die when first responders dry to get me out.  To be sure,  that is a far better thing to dream about than another human being dying.  Funny thing, in the dreams,  I'm wasting my last breath screaming at the other driver for being a moron.  Wow....road raging until the day I die.  Boy - my dream self sure likes to lay the guilt thick, doesn't she?  Oooh..... Well, at least I'm not cursing the poor soul.  ***** The dreams are possibly indicative of my anxiety about teaching three kids how to drive.   They've inspired me to control what I can control.  I wear my seatbelt now.  Just in case -  I'll wear clean underwear (although I'm not sure it'll matter if I scare myself),  bring my driver's lic...

  The song kinda resembles me....I've got far too much stuff and not enough time to pack it up and drive it to the local Goodwill.  Today I am thankful for three-year-old little girls.  I get to work just shy of 6:00 a.m.  As I'm always in a hurry, I have to take the stairs because they are closer to my office than the elevators.  The cast I'm wearing on my left leg clunks along each stair.  My foot gets number as I walk.  So what starts out as a fast rhythm, slows down considerably by the time I reach the second set of stairs.  I've gained 10 pounds since I burned myself and couldn't exercise.  I'm feeling incredibly unattractive.  As I'm walking up the stairs, I run into a beautiful little girl with dark curly hair and brown eyes.  She is alone.  We both stop and look at each other.  I'm looking all around for her guardian.  She stares up at me in astonishment  and exclames  "You look like Ariel!"  Oh...

Actually, I think I found my love.  His name is Charlie.   Could it be that I need a new love?  Maybe  its time for a Steinberger named Jared.   So today I'm thankful for knee jerk reactions; you know, those tiny subconscious reactions that keep us from dying.  I did stupid stuff that could have caused me to bite the dust a couple of times today  It was weird.  I'm not feeling very well.  It's hard for me to breathe.   This morning, I felt sick to my stomach.  Now, because I run into a large number of hungry, homeless folks... I always carry water and protein bars on my person.  I don't eat the protein bars anymore due to the fat content.  I just give them out to hungry folks.  Needless to say, there are stashes of food and water in both of the offices in which I see clients.   Yep, my recording studio is now my Covid office for teletherapy appointments.  I hate working from home.  I...

  Today I am thankful for the realization that I'm slacking off.  I've been busy cleaning up my life and habitat.  Maybe I'm focusing on the wrong things.  Not ONE of my friends has received the extremist Facebook warning after leaving a comment for me.  I don't get one from any of them.  Crap - I'm upset!   I'm a libertarian,  gun nut,  pagan who worships Ares,  even a hypnotist. I've been told that I'm on a government watch list.  I'm proud of my obnoxiousness.  I even spent yesterday in Wyoming watching fireworks and getting pro-gun bumper stickers, saddle blankets, and all sorts of stuff to remind me of my western upbringing.   I don't feel like an extremist in Cheyenne.  I'm only an extremist in Denver.  Do you know why?  The definition of extremist has been morphed.  It now means 'any person who disagrees with the majority group in power.'  Since communist-type liberals have taken o...

  (one of my favorite bass lines)  Today I'm thankful that I have my very first Friday night free in many years.  I chose to spend it with my first love - bass guitars..  Someone stepped on my Arcadia CD.  My kids must have gotten sick of listening to it.  I had nothing to listen to (without YouTube Ads).  I wore out that cassette years ago.   I resemble Lady Ice.  Maybe I wasn't always that way..... Man -  I had to dig out my old music I listened to an old '80s mixtape.  There was a lot of Jeffrey Osborne on it, some Luther Vandross, a bit of Klymaxx, Alexander O'Neal, Chaka Khan, and Rufus, Freddie Jackson, Prince....sigh..... Oh my..... no wonder I scared off the 80's boyfriend.  I probably scorched the poor guy.  Maybe that's what the nightmares are about....guilt over being a pervert and condemning a nice Christian boy to his nightmarish version of the underworld in the afterlife.   I don't know.  ...