When songs get stuck in our heads, it is often because the subconscious mind has something it is trying to bring to our consciousness.
I know there is something wrong when James Bond Theme songs get stuck in my head. I think I'm about ready to ruin my world in a big way.
Usually, the sounds in my brain are bass lines....
....usually from the 80's.....
.....usually from Sting, Geddy Lee or John Taylor.
Don't laugh....I grew up with Duranies. I lost a lot of girlfriends when I tried to start a band called Duranged Duranged.
I'm sure I've written about that. Haven't I?
No?
Oh....well....I had a crush on Weird Al. My friends loved Duran Duran. I wanted to combine the two and tried to start a band.
We actually had quite a few spoofs written....
- The Reflex became The Rejects.
- Please Please Tell Me Now became a song about a dog who had to go outside and take a leak....Please Please Let Me Out.
- Wild Boys became Wide Boys.
- A View of a Kill became A View of a Thrill.
We wrote a lot of them. I still have the notebook somewhere. The band fizzled like most bands do. We got together, drank a bunch of.....uh.....soda, giggled a lot and never played a note. I offended a lot of my girlfriends doing that, too. Making fun of the most popular boy band of the time was almost sacrilegious.
Sigh....
If one were to read through the lyrics of the spoofs back in the day, one would see themes common among teenagers. They were songs about feeling rejected, about our pets and ogling boys while fantasizing about how they were....uh...built.
I digress. Let me get back to my point. Yes, the words we write betray our thoughts. One can extend that further to state that the songs we think about betray us; they betray the issues in our life and how we intend on dealing with them.
.
Sometimes songs get stuck in my head. When that happens, I tend to analyze the tunes until I find the message.
For the past several weeks, I kept humming the same melody. It took awhile to identify it. It is contained within a James Bond theme song.
It is not the whole song that I hear in my head. It is only a certain set of lyrics (2:48):
I feel sick.
I feel scared.
I feel ready,
And yet unprepared....
I guess that says it all.
I've been self-medicating with Valerian and Lavender water.
I'm scared. I feel like I have no choice to be ready to move but I am truly unprepared.
There is so much that I wanted to do before selling my house and moving.
So much.....
And then I have people pulling out the stops to try to get me to stay....
my new boss explained that $30,000 was my base salary. Apparently, I get hefty commissions.
A neighbor is helping me with daycare.
I have friends helping me install better security.
I still feel like I need to move!
I tried talking to Michael about the stalking. He is blaming Steve.
Steve didn't start harassing me in 1992 (or 1984 if you count the high school bullying from Michael's cousin and her friend). Mike's family has been harassing me most of my life. Why would I blame anyone else?
Michael says he wants me back. He doesn't want therapy. He doesn't want to work on the relationship. He doesn't want to move out of the house permanently. He wants me to not see other people. I don't think it's fair to want to hang out in my home but not have a relationship with me.
I've tried to talk about moving out and letting him stay here with the girls. Those conversations go nowhere.
Uh.....how long can I be celibate? I've closed my body off. I'm not sure for how long.
I think it's a game. I think he likes controlling me but doesn't care about my needs.
I wonder if he cares about his needs? This is weird.
It makes me think of this song.....
There are other men in the world.....including a hot hunk in an R & B band who likes to serenade me whenever I enter the room.
When he sings these lyrics, I wonder what is on his mind?
He's hot........ but I'm not ready for the world of dating. He has offered to help me tighten my bass playing.....maybe....I'll take him up on that. I'm really super rusty.
Whenever I hear this song, I miss my old school twangy Steinberger. I haven't had the heart to tell him that.
Sigh.....
Think of the songs in your head. What are they telling you?
You can learn a lot about yourself if you pay attention to the lyrics.
Love ya,
S.