Computer Programmer Friends

Today I am thankful for my smart, patient and adorably nerdy computer programmer friends.

I find that my computer programmer friends tend to be more therapeutic than my guru-y, psychotherapist, psychiatrist buddies.

They'll sit you down. They look into your eyes and they size you up in a sentence or two.

They'll say things like 'you're still dealing with too much drama' before deciding that they're going to change your software program.

They'll respect you enough not to force you to talk about the crap.

Rather, they'll fill you with comfort food, fresh water and fun conversation. They'll take you to a movie and let you have a couple of hours of peace and quiet.

They'll teach you that if you flood your heart with joy there is no room for fearing the creepy person that threatens the heck out of you.

Fear and joy cannot occupy the same space.

Wow....

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Venus Meditations

Today I am thankful for my new realization. In my world, Friday is the day of love (reminds of The Cure - lol). It's true. Friday is the day of Venus. Exhausted as I was after work, I went to my altar and lit a candle asking that my friend find whatever his life is lacking. Then I went upstairs and did my Friday night ritual to Aphrodite. I lit a candle asking that I gain confidence in my ability to love. I also ask that I recognize true love. I was too exhausted to linger so I tried to fall asleep. Have you been too tired to sleep? It's horrible. Your mind goes round and round - you might recall things that happened recently (like the doctor telling me to be careful because I haven't hit menopause yet and I say, "not worried about it" while thinking that it's a good time to be in a sexual drought - hooray for me), or things going on at work (that I can hypnotize little cranky babies to sleep without sa...

Time and Trauma

Today I am thankful for stories; they are often the easiest teaching tool. The other day I had an interesting conversation with a social worker. She complained that one of her patients was stuck at a certain year - let's say... 2008. This man talks about 2008 constantly. He shares photos of 2008 and letters of 2008. I asked her, what happened that year? Well, three members of his family died. His best friend died in front of his eyes. His spouse died. He lost his home. The man was wealthy. Sadly, the evil eye is real. Covetousness is real. The U.S. justice system enables abusive lawyers to swoop in and take control of the wealth of well-to-do elders. There were fights over his assets**. The lawyers threw him out of his numerous homes. The man was then homeless while everything went through probate and the relatives fought over the estate. His wealth ...

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