Today I am grateful for a few men....
Hot art teachers who like to flirt,
That old flame who is still in my life just enough to remind me why I won't ever date an artist again,
and
Mark Twain.
It is hard to chose among them.
Super, duper hard.
Let's see....
The art teacher kept me from getting bored at an event. He has a pretty smile. I wasn't wearing make-up and had on my thick tortoise shell eyeglasses that keep me from walking into walls.
It was probably a pity flirt. Still....I thought about lingering but I had a flash back, so I didn't.
Yes, I'm thankful to my ex whose very name reminds me to keep my shirt on, behave and spend my energy buying decent art supplies and donating it to the teachers. That's probably the best way to flirt with people paid on the public dime in a cheap school district.
I think God wanted my ex to barely be at the edge of my life because his presence keeps me vanilla. If I do anything wrong, God will shove him in my face and he'll know what I've been up to doing. He knows my mannerisms better than anyone else.....still...
And, I know what he's thinking about when he makes a little tent under the table. I will never admit to seeing that. When I asked what he was wanting, he sat there grinning coyly and said 'nothing'....which is man-code for 'something big'.
Awkward....thank goodness it was in an ice cream parlor of all places. I'm allergic to ice cream. I couldn't have done anything if I tried. Whew....
When I'm bad, he always knows. When I'm not acting like myself and pretending to be some big bitchy big-shot, it bugs him. He'll come out and say things I am not prepared to hear, leaving me to blush...in public...in front of other people who never see me blush even when I'm having a wardrobe malfunction and have to pull my skirt up from around my ankles in capital building parking lots.
Yeah, yeah....he still gets on me about not eating during times of stress....still....he makes remarks about my eating disorder to this very flippin' day. If I didn't do that, my skirts wouldn't fall off in public. He's right. I'm sorry. Safety pins are my friends.
I know.... for some stupid reason, accidentally showing my ratty panties to a bunch of politicians in September while walking away from television cameras doesn't bother me half as much as my ex quizzing me about all the other men he thinks I've slept with.
I don't know why I care what he thinks, but I do...so I'll be good.
I've been a tad bit too good since our 20th high school reunion. You know what's going to happen? God is saving the heat. I've been so cold in the past five years, I know one of these days it is all going to come back to me at once and I'll spontaneously combust.
Keep me away from the propane tanks; it'll keep you safe.
So....
That leaves Mark Twain.
Mark Twain always knew what to say. His quips and quotes help me almost everyday of my life.
When I write, I think of this gem.
but that's only because it is August and the district is too damn cheap to put in air conditioning.
Why am I thinking about this?
Well...
I'm putting in an application for a writing gig.
If I get it, I'll have something genuine to be grateful for.
Wish me luck!
Love,
S.
.
Redheaded women and cats do as they damn well please, so men may as well get used to it. Don't know where I saw that....but it makes me laugh.
.
Hot art teachers who like to flirt,
That old flame who is still in my life just enough to remind me why I won't ever date an artist again,
and
Mark Twain.
It is hard to chose among them.
Super, duper hard.
Let's see....
The art teacher kept me from getting bored at an event. He has a pretty smile. I wasn't wearing make-up and had on my thick tortoise shell eyeglasses that keep me from walking into walls.
It was probably a pity flirt. Still....I thought about lingering but I had a flash back, so I didn't.
Yes, I'm thankful to my ex whose very name reminds me to keep my shirt on, behave and spend my energy buying decent art supplies and donating it to the teachers. That's probably the best way to flirt with people paid on the public dime in a cheap school district.
I think God wanted my ex to barely be at the edge of my life because his presence keeps me vanilla. If I do anything wrong, God will shove him in my face and he'll know what I've been up to doing. He knows my mannerisms better than anyone else.....still...
And, I know what he's thinking about when he makes a little tent under the table. I will never admit to seeing that. When I asked what he was wanting, he sat there grinning coyly and said 'nothing'....which is man-code for 'something big'.
Awkward....thank goodness it was in an ice cream parlor of all places. I'm allergic to ice cream. I couldn't have done anything if I tried. Whew....
When I'm bad, he always knows. When I'm not acting like myself and pretending to be some big bitchy big-shot, it bugs him. He'll come out and say things I am not prepared to hear, leaving me to blush...in public...in front of other people who never see me blush even when I'm having a wardrobe malfunction and have to pull my skirt up from around my ankles in capital building parking lots.
Yeah, yeah....he still gets on me about not eating during times of stress....still....he makes remarks about my eating disorder to this very flippin' day. If I didn't do that, my skirts wouldn't fall off in public. He's right. I'm sorry. Safety pins are my friends.
I know.... for some stupid reason, accidentally showing my ratty panties to a bunch of politicians in September while walking away from television cameras doesn't bother me half as much as my ex quizzing me about all the other men he thinks I've slept with.
I don't know why I care what he thinks, but I do...so I'll be good.
I've been a tad bit too good since our 20th high school reunion. You know what's going to happen? God is saving the heat. I've been so cold in the past five years, I know one of these days it is all going to come back to me at once and I'll spontaneously combust.
Keep me away from the propane tanks; it'll keep you safe.
So....
That leaves Mark Twain.
Mark Twain always knew what to say. His quips and quotes help me almost everyday of my life.
When I write, I think of this gem.
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.The two local art teachers are damn, damn, damn, damn, hot....
but that's only because it is August and the district is too damn cheap to put in air conditioning.
Why am I thinking about this?
Well...
I'm putting in an application for a writing gig.
If I get it, I'll have something genuine to be grateful for.
Wish me luck!
Love,
S.
.
Redheaded women and cats do as they damn well please, so men may as well get used to it. Don't know where I saw that....but it makes me laugh.
.